My girlfriend, 22 and Christian, likes to be tied up. She's into anime-style Japanese bondage porn and she wants me to do that incredibly complicated rope bondage. I've looked at some pictures—she has thousands of them that she's been downloading and saving on her computer since she was a teenager—but I can't make it happen. I'm the first boy she's ever told about her fetish and I don't want to disappoint her. Where does a nice boy like me go to learn how to truss up a nice girl like her in the style of Japanese bondage porn?
Blessed Be The Ties That Bind
My response after the jump...
"Rope bondage is a great way to create a sensual connection with your partner," says Monk, the brains behind www.twistedmonk.com, which sells high-quality, multi-colored hemp rope to bondage enthusiasts. "It does, however, take time and practice."
The first thing Monk wants you and your girlfriend to bear in mind is that a lot of the bondage in Japanese anime isn't practical—not even the bondage shown in actual photos of actual tied-up people. "They intricately tie a woman up," says Monk, "hoist her in the air for the few minutes it takes to snap the photo, and then immediately bring her down and out of the rope."
Your first assignment from Monk isn't a bondage session but a bondage conversation. "Ask your girlfriend what about being tied up turns her crank," says Monk. "Is it the act of being restrained? The sense of helplessness? Or is she getting high from the endorphins produced by stressful rope?" Once you have a better idea what she's after, "get your hands on some practical instruction. Midori's The Seductive Art of Japanese Bondage is always a great place to start. Also, if you live in the Pacific Northwest, check out the monthly bondage classes taught by Max at bondagelessons.com."
And get some decent rope! "That coil from Home Depot is just not going to cut it," says Monk. "It won't hold knots as well, it will burn her skin if it's used incorrectly, and it's generally harder to work with than Whitney Houston at an NA meeting. Hemp rope, on the other hand, when properly treated, holds knots well and is strong yet soft. Hemp rope is the traditional rope used in Asian bondage and most rope sluts will agree that it feels the best against exposed skin."
Finally, Monk suggests you set aside some time for low-stakes practice sessions. "Try some stuff out when you're not emotionally invested in the outcome of the bondage," said Monk. "Start small, experiment, have her give you feedback as to how it feels… Where does it hurt? Is this a good thing or a bad thing for her? Practice will allow you to feel more confident doing this in the heat of actual play."