Syrian Slaughter: Syrian government kills nearly 100 in most recent attacks, including many children.

Sniff Sniff: JP Morgan has watchdogs on the premises for the very first time.

Stop Snitchin': Pope Benedict's butler and fellow Popemobile rider has been arrested for leaking documents to Italian journalist whose best-selling papal tell-all came out in Italy last Saturday.

Why We Can't Have Nice Things: Michael Grimes, Morgan Stanley investment banker who played a large role in Facebook IPO, is getting his ass whupped right now.

Bogarting the Joint: A guide on how right-wing commenters can best spin the news that President Obama used to get very, very high.

Getting More Awful: The Madrona man who was killed by a stray bullet Thursday was a father, former Zillow developer, youth water polo coach and generally great-sounding person.

Jealous Rage: Ex-boyfriend of 17-year-old Renton stabbing victim is being sought by police.

High on Our Own Supply: With oil production in Canada and South America booming, the US may be less dependent on Middle Eastern oil than ever before.

Get Bigoted or Die Trying: Rapper 50 Cent endorses gay marriage in a very homophobic manner.

This Sounds Worthwhile: The US is ramping up investigations of Mexican immigrants with criminal records "in an aggressive attempt to boost deportations."

Nerdy Justice: Socrates was posthumously acquitted in a trial do-over in Athens this week.

Revolt in Mexico?: Local reporters are dubbing the rash of protests in Mexico in the face of upcoming presidential elections the "Mexican Spring."

Represent: A jovial Tacoma native won $40,500 on Wheel of Fortune last night.

A League of His Own: Why does Mariners closer Brandon League suck so bad?

And now, Gordon Ramsay teaches you how to really make scrambled eggs: