Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Stephen Colbert Damns "Influential" Cardinal Dolan with Faint Praise

Posted by on Wed, Apr 25, 2012 at 2:03 PM

Last night, Time magazine honored their list of 100 most influential people by hosting a dinner. During that dinner, Stephen Colbert gave a speech that gently mocked some of the influencers and ripped others to shreds. So far as I know, there's no video of the speech available online yet, but the transcript is very funny:

Now, TIME 100 honoree, his eminence Timothy Cardinal Dolan disagrees — sir, lovely to see you again.

Of course, now some, some critics have said in response to this that if the Catholic church's insurance does not cover Sandra Fluke's birth control, it shouldn't cover Cardinal Dolan's Viagra.

Oh, no, no, no. Oh, no, no, no, that's called celibacy plus. That's how the pros do it. Because chastity is one thing, but it shows true commitment to uphold your vows when you are sporting a crook you could hang a lighter on. Oh, wow, see you at mass on Sunday, sir?

I hope he doesn't become Pope.

I'm a Catholic, it's okay. I go to confession, it will be fine. Thank you.

Colbert slams one of the Koch Brothers and then swings back around to Dolan at the end of the speech, too. It's pretty funny stuff; I don't want to give it away. You should go read the whole thing.


Comments (10) RSS

Oldest First Unregistered On Registered On Add a comment
emma's bee 1
That was hee-larious, especially his hat tip to Dolan for doing more to control women than the inventor of Spanx (also an honoree).
Posted by emma's bee on April 25, 2012 at 2:38 PM · Report this
Zebes 2
He truly is America's darling.
Posted by Zebes on April 25, 2012 at 3:13 PM · Report this
Vince 3
His writers deserve a raise and a copy of the mag.
Posted by Vince on April 25, 2012 at 3:59 PM · Report this
biffp 4
Does anyone else in America has guts like this? He says things that I can only imagine saying in my wildest dreams and would never think of in time to say them.
Posted by biffp on April 25, 2012 at 4:12 PM · Report this
His finest moment was hosting the 2005 White House Correspondents' Dinner. A genuine act of heroism, demolishing Dubya to his very face.
Posted by Pope Buck I on April 25, 2012 at 5:17 PM · Report this
Simone 6
Awesome! Can't wait for the video/audio version.
Posted by Simone on April 25, 2012 at 5:19 PM · Report this
Knat 7
Ditto what 1 and 5 said.
Posted by Knat on April 25, 2012 at 7:52 PM · Report this
@5 (Pope Buck I): As good as the White House Correspondents' Dinner was, Colbert's more recent segments on Super PACs and 501(c)(4)s have been at least as funny and probably more important. A lot of people knew by 2005 that the Bush Administration was an unmitigated disaster and that the mainstream press had been reduced to taking dictation from it. Not so many were aware in 2011 that you could use a 501(c)(4) to launder and anonymize PAC contributions, or even that the ban on coordinating PACs with campaigns was a meaningless formality.

@Everyone: Don't worry about Cardinal Dolan holding a grudge. Colbert is on record as saying that a woman's health decisions are a private matter between her priest and her husband. So you see, they're really on the same page.
Posted by PCM on April 26, 2012 at 11:54 AM · Report this
That should read "sporting a crook you could hang a mitre on", not "lighter".
Posted by screen_name_is_taken on May 4, 2012 at 12:19 PM · Report this
The comments about Cardinal Dolan are disgusting. I don't care whether Colbert is Catholic or not, his ridicule is smarmy and just shows the alarming depths society has sunk to these days. What has happened to civility? Shame on you, Steven Colbert.
Posted by myself2 on May 9, 2012 at 6:14 PM · Report this

Add a comment