Last night, Time magazine honored their list of 100 most influential people by hosting a dinner. During that dinner, Stephen Colbert gave a speech that gently mocked some of the influencers and ripped others to shreds. So far as I know, there's no video of the speech available online yet, but the transcript is very funny:
Now, TIME 100 honoree, his eminence Timothy Cardinal Dolan disagrees — sir, lovely to see you again.
Of course, now some, some critics have said in response to this that if the Catholic church's insurance does not cover Sandra Fluke's birth control, it shouldn't cover Cardinal Dolan's Viagra.
Oh, no, no, no. Oh, no, no, no, that's called celibacy plus. That's how the pros do it. Because chastity is one thing, but it shows true commitment to uphold your vows when you are sporting a crook you could hang a lighter on. Oh, wow, see you at mass on Sunday, sir?
I hope he doesn't become Pope.
I'm a Catholic, it's okay. I go to confession, it will be fine. Thank you.
Colbert slams one of the Koch Brothers and then swings back around to Dolan at the end of the speech, too. It's pretty funny stuff; I don't want to give it away. You should go read the whole thing.