Monday, February 13, 2012
Gay Marriage Stranger Tournament of Dunces, Championship Match!
Posted by Eli Sanders on Mon, Feb 13, 2012 at 3:20 PM
![[Click to enlarge.]](http://www.thestranger.com/binary/68f7/1329174434-bracket4-big.jpg "[Click to enlarge.]")
- [Click to enlarge.]
Time to make some history, Slog: Which of these two anti-gay-marriage state representatives will win a flower from a gay florist, a bacon cheeseburger from Jack in the Box, their official state portrait on this week's cover of The Stranger, and the hard-to-earn title of Tournament of Dunces Champion, 2012? (Polls close at 7 p.m.!)
Mark "A Jack in the Box Commercial Told Me How to Vote Today" Hargrove...
...versus Matt "My Business Will Not Participate In Gay Marriages Because Florists Are Oppressed and Man I Hate Tulips" Shea
2
Crunch time! The critical florist economy, or bacon marriage? The crazy is strong with both. I can't stand to watch these pricks again, so I think I'll just flip a coin.
4
Matt Shea should spend some time worrying about the religious liberty of gays and lesbians who want to get married but can't, because so-called Christians refuse to allow them to believe differently.
That said, for sheer idiocy, nothing tops the argument that a Jack in the Box commercial told me not to vote for gay marriage.
That said, for sheer idiocy, nothing tops the argument that a Jack in the Box commercial told me not to vote for gay marriage.
5
And--this is the last time I will say it--I *still* think that in addition to the prizes named above, the winner should get a pair of two left shoes.
6
This is HARD! Matt Shea has a well-laid legacy of being a jackass. But Hargrove makes policy decisions based on hamburgers. GAH!
10
Can't they tie? Surely two flowers and two bacon burgers aren't that expensive. And you could put 'em on front and back covers. :-)
11
Hargrove is clearly the bigger idiot, but Shea is more dangerous, in that he can almost speak in coherent, complete sentences and could conceivably convince a sufficiently stupid person to agree with him. He is the winner.
12
I had to vote for evil over stupid, plus I'll bet Hargrove really, really wants that bacony prize. If you know what I'm saying...
13
Vileness versus ignorant stupidity, damn this is a hard choice! Can we split the prizes? Gay flowers to Matt and Jack in the Box to Mark? both pictures on The Stranger cover? What a better way to celebrate marriage equality then union of 2 asses on the cover of The Stranger!
14
@13: You make a compelling case! Render unto Caesar that which is Caesar's, or something like that. Gay flowers to one, bacony cheeseburger to the other. They're both winners in the dumbfuck game.
15
Of course the Jack in the Box speech deserves the burger! There were snickers (and some gasps of disbelief) on the House floor and in the gallery when Hargrove made his whopper of a speech.
16
If it was a "biggest asshole" contest, I would have voted for Rodne. But since it's about Biggest Dumbass, the choice is abundantly clear. Hargrove by a mile.
17
I knew it would come down to these two idiots. But how to make the final choice? They are both so preposterously stupid. I could go either way.
18
I like the idea of a dead heat, a split Stranger cover photo, and two sets of prizes. So press "View Result" before you vote, and choose accordingly. Right now Shea is ~100 votes behind. I think if the difference is 1% or less, they will have to declare a tie.
19
So Shea's wife is a pre-loved indentured laborer he bought from a black-market Ukrainian tulip farm? That's way kinkier than gay marriage, dude should STFU.
20
Hargrove is just a plain idiot, with no viewpoint except "Eeek! Gays are weeeird and people don't like them and Jack in the Box proves that everyone agrees with me."
But Shea is trying to make an actual point, and a very dangerous one. Hargrove is an idiot, but Shea is frightening.
But Shea is trying to make an actual point, and a very dangerous one. Hargrove is an idiot, but Shea is frightening.
21
@ #3 You're so right, Jason Overstreet was classic; but the population of Blaine, WA just doesn't compare with the rest of the state. Too bad; he still has a future -- spouting delusional nonsense.
22
@21 I'd just like to take this opportunity to repeat my joke about Blaine being Canada's dingleberry! Hopefully, this will be the last we hear of that weird enclave for a long while.
23
I vote for the Jack in the Box. I think you should give it a Seattle twist and make it a Gardenburger with fake bacon and soy cheese
24
I voted for the bacon cheeseburger representative. It hought the poll was a funny way to take a stand about his argument, and it is pretty funny to cite a Jack in the Box ad. However, I take issue with calling people "Dumbfucks" even if their behavior is ridiculous. We will hear a lot of nasty rhetoric in the months ahead, and the debate will get heated. It would be best if we can refrain from name calling and tossing insults
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