Saturday, November 7, 2009

Titties and Beer

Posted by on Sat, Nov 7, 2009 at 12:31 PM

From People of Walmart....

428.jpg

Queers can't have titties and beers?

bearsbear3.jpg

 

Comments (68) RSS

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Baconcat 1
I love the guy framed in between their shoulders, it's something that can't be unseen.

Also, what about queer women?
Posted by Baconcat on November 7, 2009 at 12:41 PM
The Magic Lemur 2
God I love People Of Walmart. And nothing says "Oh GOD, how I secretly crave hard dicks" like a shirt loudly proclaiming you're not queer. Er, sorry, you "ain't queer".
Posted by The Magic Lemur on November 7, 2009 at 12:43 PM
3
Unsee what? A guy in a yellow shirt? Am I missing something?
Posted by Dan Savage on November 7, 2009 at 12:46 PM
giantbaiting 4
he's like the arrow in the fedex logo, once you see it your eyes are magnetically attracted to it. or in this case him.
Posted by giantbaiting http://giantbaiting.bandcamp.com on November 7, 2009 at 12:48 PM
Chef Thunder 5
Woof
Posted by Chef Thunder on November 7, 2009 at 12:48 PM
bengermanj 6
Although, the shirt does kind of imply that sexuality isn't a choice, rather that God makes some hetero and some homo. As a homo, I love beer and I'm pretty sure I really enjoyed titties as an infant.
Posted by bengermanj http://facebook.com/bengermanj on November 7, 2009 at 12:49 PM
7
Butt sex and Bollinger,
Thank fate that I don't need to shop at Walmart.
Posted by kinaidos on November 7, 2009 at 12:50 PM
8
Queers like beer, and what about man-boobs. I call bullshit, or should I say bull-shirt on that shirt.
Posted by steakhaus on November 7, 2009 at 12:52 PM
kim in portland 9
Yes, that shirt is bullshit. There is no way that I'd date someone wearing that shirt.
Posted by kim in portland http://www.oregonlive.com/portland/index.ssf/2010/11/fast-paced_video_provides_a_fu.html on November 7, 2009 at 1:00 PM
10
Guaranteed: This shirt (and it's ilk) will be the height of hipster fashion within 3 years (it always starts with wolves howling at moons).
Posted by Meatbot 3000 on November 7, 2009 at 1:08 PM
sidereal 11
No, no. He said BEERS, not BEARS
Posted by sidereal on November 7, 2009 at 1:11 PM
Vince 12
Ignorance and hate!
Thank Jupitor I ain't
a right wing straight!
Posted by Vince on November 7, 2009 at 1:22 PM
13
That one's almost a week old. Try to keep up.
Posted by Tricyclic on November 7, 2009 at 1:32 PM
Sargon Bighorn 14
"Titties" and "Ain't" in red text denoting a mathematical negative . Hmmm there must be a connection between the two right? Black text is Beer = Good, Thank = Good, God = Good (when she behaves), Queer there fore being in Black also must = Good.

CHRIST it IS all about Math like I was told.
Posted by Sargon Bighorn on November 7, 2009 at 1:36 PM
15
Actually, if you're "queer" and FEMALE, titties are sort of a big thing (no pun intended).
And beer is for everyone!
Posted by venomlash on November 7, 2009 at 1:47 PM
kk in seattle 16
At our next family gathering I'm going to be wearing this shirt and informing my brother and sister that all the beer's mine.
Posted by kk in seattle on November 7, 2009 at 1:48 PM
D310 17
Ahh yes, the gays are such a reliable punchline.

Let's hear it for the cheap jokes from "straight" men!
Posted by D310 on November 7, 2009 at 1:52 PM
18
You can have man-titties if you like bears. Then you can change the tr-short to read:

"Bears and Beers, thank god I'm queer"
Posted by Donald Bradmans on November 7, 2009 at 2:00 PM
19
Shudder at the thought of encountering "real Americans" in the wild.
Posted by slag on November 7, 2009 at 2:00 PM
Timmytee 20
@14: Thanks, Charles, LOL.
Posted by Timmytee on November 7, 2009 at 2:03 PM
baconpussy 21
Dan, please indulge baconcat his occasional indecipherable obsession. No one flies the flag higher for you, nor nips a critical ankle more efficiently.
Posted by baconpussy on November 7, 2009 at 2:04 PM
22
i need one that says "titties and beer, thank Aphrodite i'm queer"
Posted by cranky on November 7, 2009 at 2:11 PM
23
Eeeeewww, Walmart is so totally working class.
Posted by Queen Bee on November 7, 2009 at 2:12 PM
24
Apparently you not allowed to be straight and proud now...
Posted by Bogan Nation on November 7, 2009 at 2:14 PM
25
all of a sudden, i smell stupid. does anyone else smell stupid?
Posted by cranky on November 7, 2009 at 2:16 PM
Supreme Ruler Of The Universe 26

Didn't you guys see "Bruno".

That's an ironical funny shirt from the "Straight Dave" segment.

But you guys took it literally -- as usual!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Rd-5uHiz…

Posted by Supreme Ruler Of The Universe http://yrihf.com on November 7, 2009 at 2:19 PM
27
*sniff *sniff, there it is again. . .
Posted by cranky on November 7, 2009 at 2:27 PM
very bad homo 28
I'll take cock and vodka any day.
Posted by very bad homo on November 7, 2009 at 2:31 PM
29
dick is so great, thank god i ain't straight.
Posted by thunderboltjackson on November 7, 2009 at 2:52 PM
30
I'd like to order one of each.

And I don't need a bag, I'll be eating them here. And no fries. I believe I'll be full shortly.
Posted by LovesChoad on November 7, 2009 at 2:56 PM
br@d 31
Supreme Ruler @ 26: As someone who's spent years of time pre-Bruno in the south, I can assure you that "titties and beer..." did not originate with Sacha Baron Cohen. Dollars to doughnuts this guy hasn't seen Bruno.
Posted by br@d on November 7, 2009 at 3:04 PM
32
@31 the Zappa song is from like 76, and I'm pretty sure Zappa didn't invent either titties or beer.
Posted by cranky on November 7, 2009 at 3:29 PM
33
There's something worse than people of Walmart.
They're called GOP congressmen.
They behave like 2 year olds.
http://thinkprogress.org/2009/11/07/gop-…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eMdlcnK_M…

I'm willing to bet a good portion of them are closet queers for as much as they hate women and gays.
Posted by StuckInUtah on November 7, 2009 at 3:32 PM
34
As a point of information, the words on the shirt are from the Rodney Carrington song, "Titties and Beer" (he does the alternate version, "Wieners and Wine" as well). I believe the gist is supposed to be that these two things are so wonderful, thank the almighty that my sexual preference is such that I can fully appreciate them. He's a comedian who mostly plays to a redneck crowd and who does a few bits about sexual orientation that seem to me to be relatively benign. Of course, I'm straight, so your mileage may vary.
Posted by Flynn27 on November 7, 2009 at 3:52 PM
35
not everyone sticks their penises in other mens poopers, dan

learn to accept that
Posted by fag fail on November 7, 2009 at 3:54 PM
June 36
What is it with men? I once had a guy pour beer on my tits (without asking, while we were having sex) and he thought it was just the greatest thing. Meanwhile, I was thinking "this is why I prefer women!!!!"
Posted by June http://travelingbellydancer.blogspot.com on November 7, 2009 at 4:41 PM
Frau Blucher 37
@ 35 Freak Fail - I did not realize that "everyone" had penises, and that only men had "poopers." Or, that only men had penises put in their poopers.

Thanks for the lesson in stupidity.
Posted by Frau Blucher on November 7, 2009 at 4:49 PM
38
@35

not everyone sticks their penises in other mens poopers, dan

learn to accept that


And some do. Learn to accept that. And grab some grammar along the way. It's "...everyone sticks HIS penis..." singular. If you'd be critical, at least be correct.
Posted by LovesChoad on November 7, 2009 at 4:53 PM
Fnarf 39
BIG TITS
GIVE ME FITS
Posted by Fnarf http://www.facebook.com/fnarf on November 7, 2009 at 5:03 PM
kim in portland 40
How about wieners and whiskey?
Posted by kim in portland http://www.oregonlive.com/portland/index.ssf/2010/11/fast-paced_video_provides_a_fu.html on November 7, 2009 at 5:31 PM
41
new shirt: "Wieners & Whiskey make me feel Frisky!"
Posted by AK on November 7, 2009 at 5:47 PM
42
or maybe "Wieners & Whiskey, makes me feel Frisky!" if you're going for the combo of the two.
Posted by AK on November 7, 2009 at 5:51 PM
mmennonno 43
I am total agreement with this t-shirt. Thank God he's not queer. Although someone should tell him you can like titties and beer and still be queer. Needs to get out more.
Posted by mmennonno http://mennonnosapiens.com on November 7, 2009 at 6:00 PM
44
38 - not only are you a Christian fuckhead but a grammar Nazi!

double fail.
Posted by go back to sodomizing your kids on November 7, 2009 at 6:04 PM
45
@34 you aren't doing a very good job of being the smartest guy in the room. rodney was covering a zappa song, again, from at least 1976
Posted by cranky on November 7, 2009 at 6:28 PM
46
@44 reading fail, choad
Posted by cranky on November 7, 2009 at 6:30 PM
47
@ Chef Thunder, 5: DITTO that!

Woof, indeed.
Posted by YTAH http://ytah.wordpress.com/ on November 8, 2009 at 12:37 AM
48
@ 18: "You can have man-titties if you like bears."

Or if you like forty-year-old transgenders poking out of the Ingersoll Gender Clinic. Bonus points for those playing for implants with an IRA.
Posted by Telsa Grills on November 8, 2009 at 1:06 AM
49
@45 you're doing an even worse job.

Same title, different song...
Posted by aa.logan on November 8, 2009 at 2:44 AM
50
I saw that entry a few days ago, and it angered me terribly. Thank you, Dan, for finding some humour about it.
Posted by jade on November 8, 2009 at 6:16 AM
yucca flower 51
Er, how about "Titties and bears, thank god I'm a queer!". It doesn't rhyme but it goes with the picture up above.
Posted by yucca flower on November 8, 2009 at 6:32 AM
Sir-Scott 52
I believe I have missed a memo Dan on how to supply this man with titties, I am worried over this lack of responsibility and will report you to the containment division. None the matter since I will be more than happy to give this redneck some boy titties while I shove my cock up his straight ass all the while he shall stay STR8 while i make him beg for it. HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAH!!!!!
Posted by Sir-Scott on November 8, 2009 at 6:34 AM
53
You just know this guy is a youth pastor.
Posted by out and about in the closet on November 8, 2009 at 7:55 AM
saxfanatic 54
@41: Okay, that's clever.
Posted by saxfanatic on November 8, 2009 at 9:00 AM
55
I wonder if he pees with a wide stance.
Posted by Reg on November 8, 2009 at 10:04 AM
56
@44:

What 46 said.

Asshat.
Posted by LovesChoad on November 8, 2009 at 11:18 AM
Doctor Memory 57
The random coloring of "titties" and "ain't" is confounding me. It's like misplaced quotation marks, only substantially weirder.
Posted by Doctor Memory http://blahg.blank.org on November 8, 2009 at 12:40 PM
58
The lady doth protest to much, eh?
Posted by bloodycarrot on November 8, 2009 at 1:17 PM
Violet_DaGrinder 59
I want that shirt. It would be all ironical and shit.
Posted by Violet_DaGrinder http://www.imeem.com/jukeboxmusic51/music/y1malqpG/prince-the-new-power-generation-featuring-eric-leeds-on-f/ on November 8, 2009 at 1:55 PM
LaRiiiiM0RrrHAwtiiii696969 60
DAN FRED NAMACHO MAN SAVAGE

R U OFFNDED? R U WEEK N SAD? TRUST ME, U DEFINETLY GET TO BE AN IDJIT JUS LIKE THE STRAIGHT FOLKS. IT'S SO IMPORTANT THAT U CONTINUUU TO EXERHIZE THOSE RITES FOR GOOD OF NATION. FUCKING EDIT U OUT OF PIX? NAH WAY MANG, WE LETZ U HAVE SO MANY PIX.

TO THE SWEET LIL FISHIES:

DAGRINDER SHUT THE FUCK UP.

FNARF, I WILL GIVE YOU A CRAZY EURO FIT. HAVE YOU EVER HAD AN ELECTRICALLY INDUCED SPASM? IT'S ON BRO.

GRAMMAR CRACK HEADS GOOD GRAMMAR IS IMPORTANT IN EVERYDAY LIFE YOU SHOULD PRACTICE IT OR ELSE SPACE PUSSIES WILL TOTALLY CRUSH YOUR HEAD.

FRED SAVAGE, SAW NEW SOUTH PARK EPISODE, VERY TYPICAL, BUT YOU WERE TOTALLY IN IT! MR EDITOR LET ME IN!!!
Posted by LaRiiiiM0RrrHAwtiiii696969 http://balkin.blogspot.com/ on November 8, 2009 at 2:54 PM
Cory 61
God why do you guys have to be so heterophobic.

;-)
Posted by Cory on November 8, 2009 at 4:36 PM
62
Just imagine what other cultures must think when they see "People of Wal-Mart" on the net. Wow - there is some seriously creepy shit there.

Why does everyone at SLOG feel it necessary to disparage those who think and believe differently? Like Rodney King said “Why can’t we all just get along?”
Posted by stormblade on November 8, 2009 at 11:58 PM
63
@45, as others have said, the song from which the t-shirt is a quote is not the zappa song, or a cover of the zappa song. both zappa and rodney carrington have songs called titties and beer, as it happens. it's something like, "titties and beer, thank god i aint queer... hunting two legged deer, titties and beer." the zappa song is about how the devil ate his gf and drank his beer.
Posted by drivel on November 9, 2009 at 3:16 AM
Southern Gentleman 64
There's one thing I'm missing here. Does Wal Mart even sell beer? Not that I'd be inclined to shop there even if they did--I doubt I could find Flying Dog's Dogtoberfest or Left Hand's Milk Stout there. Mmmm. Milk stout...almost as good as ""Wieners & Whiskey make me feel Frisky!"
Posted by Southern Gentleman http://just-write.contentquake.com on November 9, 2009 at 6:06 AM
65
I'll take the guy on the left, thanks, with or without beer.
Posted by DJDeeJay on November 9, 2009 at 11:12 AM
66
mmmmmm, Frank Zappa...

He was straight, but that cover of Zoot Allures where he shows off his basket in those white jeans...

damn. I could learn to like beer for that.
Posted by jp mann on November 9, 2009 at 7:01 PM
67
People of Wal*Mart just makes me depressed. Lots of those pictures are of people who are clearly mentally ill/challenged. The rest of them are poor and ignorant.
Posted by dwight moody on November 10, 2009 at 10:44 AM
68
What's wrong with the working class? If it wasn't for the working class, who would the middle class have to look down on? Not those fine, upstanding, wealthy men and women on Wall Street, that's for sure! You know, the ones who flushed our economy down the toilet?
Posted by catseye on November 10, 2009 at 2:15 PM

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