Rams in the wild are terrible at football. And yesterday was the first time since 2004 that the Rams beat the Seahawks.
Did you know? Rams in the wild do not play football. Also, yesterday was the first time the Rams beat the Seahawks since 2004. Bighorn Sheep Ram/Shutterstock

The Seahawks lost to a mediocre Rams team 23-17 at home yesterday, ending a five game winning streak. Also ended were a run of stellar offensive line performances, and Russell Wilson's streak as the greatest quarterback to ever play football. And I'm left feeling mostly, like, whatever. Whatever.

Really, I don't want to take anything away from this game. While it was the first time that the Rams beat the Seahawks in Seattle since 2004, they've been a thorn in the Seahawks' side throughout head coach Jeff Fisher's tenure, even as Jeff Fisher's tenure has led the Rams to be nothing more than mediocre.

I guess this loss was kind of disappointing as the Seahawks still have CRUCIAL PLAYOFF SEEDING to fight for. But, you know, not really. Seattle locked themselves into a wild card slot with last week's win, and while it had looked earlier this year like playing the NFC East champion would present a huge advantage versus playing the NFC North champion, I don't know anymore. Washington looks pretty good, with Kirk Cousins displaying the sort of accuracy that Seattle's secondary has struggled with this season. With Green Bay faltering and Seattle having shown their dominance over Minnesota a few weeks ago, playoff seeding feels less important.

So really, nothing much happened. The Seahawks lost a close game. They didn't add anyone too crucial to the injury list (though there were some scary moments when it looked like Russell Wilson took a knee injury on an unflagged late hit).

I feel like games against the Rams exist outside the bounds of normal Seahawks judgement, so why waste time trying to draw real life lessons from these games? I have only one answer to that question: it's the Monday between Christmas and New Years, and if you happen to be working a desk job today you need precious, precious content to distract you. So here you go: officially distracting Seahawks content.

Life lessons to be gleaned from this week's meaningless Seahawks loss:

• Sometimes you get knocked over by a punter. Sometimes that punter manages to be the bane of your existence year after year, no matter how deftly you menace the punter at the next available opportunity.

• Sometimes a vaunted home field advantage becomes anything but. The Seahawks have suffered three losses at home, and have played all of their worst games since week one at CenturyLink. This could just be random chance nipping the Seahawks, or it could be that with their recent run of success, tickets have become inaccessible to the formerly boisterous fans who packed the stadium in the past. Life lesson here? Destroy capitalism.

• Classic football life lesson: football is like life, and the bounce of the ball isn't going to go your way. And if you're in Seattle that might happen a significant amount of the time. This time it was the wet weather that stymied a come from behind effort for the Seahawks, and their repeated effort to recover any fumble that hit the turf. Or catch any ball that hit them in the hands. Or hit an onside kick that didn't fly out of bounds. Seahawks life lesson here? Random chance will fuck you as often as not.

• Two years in a row now the Seahawks opponents have been the least penalized team in the NFL, and the Seahawks have gained a league worst 7 first downs from penalties this year. Life lesson here: fuck referees always and forever. Refs are mall cops and deserve no respect. None. Unless they're helping our team. In which case they're okay in that exact moment and no others.

• Pete Carroll wasted two challenges, then found his team on the butt end of a weird fumble recovery call and couldn't challenge the call. The lesson here? Don't challenge mall cops, because they'll taser you and ride away on their Segway. This lesson was brought to you by Paul Blart: Mall Cop 3, which I assume is in production right now.

• No one likes bad news. Maybe that's why I don't want to draw anything from this game. Because maybe it does indicate that the Seahawks are fucked going forward, and I'm merely rationalizing away a collapse that's already begun. And expecting the return of Russell Okung, Marshawn Lynch and Kam Chancellor to fix anything is foolish. I don't think so, but maybe.

• Or don't pull life lessons from regular season football games. Well except for the big one: don't play football. Over half-a-dozen players had to leave the game on Sunday to enter the NFL's concussion protocol. Only one Seahawk was diagnosed with a concussion, tight end Luke Willson, but there were a shocking amount of head injuries for a single game. A lot of this was due to Rams defensive coordinator Gregg Williams' well documented macho bullshit coaching style. But it also comes with the game of football.

• To reiterate: Don't play football. Rams—actual rams—don't play football. And don't care too much about this football game. The Seahawks play the Cardinals with some stuff but not a whole lot on the line next week. And then playoff football. Christ. Hopefully Marshawn Lynch is back by then.