Louisiana's Somehow-Senator David Vitter would probably rather that you remember him as the guy who blocked immigration reform, promoted abstinence education, and tried to defund Planned Parenthood, and not as the guy who enjoyed the company of sex workers. And he definitely doesn't want you to remember the rumors (unconfirmed!) connecting him to diaper fetishism.

Now, there's nothing wrong with a little sex work, age play, and wetting — some of you are probably wearing Goodnites right now, and good for you — but the guy's actual politics are lousy and his moralizing is hypocritical, so let's get 'im!

Just in case you're not familiar with why we can't stand this guy, here's one of Vitter's racist campaign ads:

Vitter, who has somehow managed to hang on to his seat despite alienating just about everyone around him, is running to replace Governor "Bobby" Jindal, who'll be moving on from office to drawl obnoxiously on cable news after he drops out of the presidential race. (Unrelated side note: yesterday a Fox News contributor critiqued Jindal's debate performance by observing that he "looks like a raisin," so have fun sputtering in outrage about that.)

Vitter's Democratic opponent is John Bel Edwards, who has done a pretty good job of explicitly reminding voters of Vitter's 2007 prostitution scandal. "David Vitter chose prostitutes over patriots," says one Edwards ad. "Now, the choice is yours."

In response, Vitter says he's "earned redemption" since the prostitution scandal, but come on, you don't just get to say that about yourself! Disgraced hypocrites can't just decide "I AM REDEEMED" like they're declaring bankruptcy.

Meanwhile, things got really weird last month when a woman named Wendy Ellis claimed that she was one of Vitter's clients, had his baby, and gave the kid up for adoption. Nobody really paid attention to the claim until police caught a private investigator recording police meetings for the Vitter campaign. They arrested the investigator, and discovered tapes of another Vitter campaign PI strategizing to discredit Ellis.

Meanwhile, a state PAC is running an anti-Vitter ad that prominently features features a baby and nursery music, with the words "DAVID VITTER WOULD BE A CRYING SHAME FOR LOUISIANA." Oho, good one! The ad ran before and after a gubernatorial forum last month, so nice job on the timing with that one.

All of this messy drama seems to be catching up with Vitter, who's trailing in polls to the point that other Republicans are asking him to drop out. That actually sounds like a good idea: leave the politics behind, take some time off, relax. The DC Littles have a munch every month, and I'm sure they'd welcome you as long as you never let them find out about your secret shame: Congressional service.