Philadelphia City Paper, we hardly knew ye.
Philadelphia City Paper, we hardly knew ye.

Another alternative newsweekly has closed its doors. Founded in 1981, Philadelphia City Paper was independently owned until last year, when it was acquired by SB New York, the company that publishes the multi-city East Coast free paper Metro. According to a farewell piece on the PCP website, the staff learned that the paper would be closing—or rather that it would be folded into Philly Weekly, the city's older alt paper—via a press release issued by Broad Street Media, which recently acquired the rights to the publication's name and archives. The entire staff was summarily laid off and the farewell post was written at a bar.

So. At the moment, we're the only people here, playing maudlin songs on the jukebox. Somebody just said, "It might be really great to do a post chronicling what it's like when an entire staff gets laid off!" Someone else replied, "Dude, the clicks don't count anymore."

It's a tough racket, man. On behalf of everyone at the Stranger, congratulations to the Philadelphia City Paper for hanging in as long as you did. 34 years is a good run.

PCP Music Editor Patrick Rapa's parting remarks are enough to send a bit of a chill up one's spine (perhaps most of all if one is, for example, an alternative newsweekly music editor).

About 24 hours before you read this, City Paper will cease operations. Like a lobster, we were purchased to be killed and consumed. For the purposes of this metaphor, my co-workers and I are the empty red parts.

The archives will go wherever they go. The people will scatter.

Listen: We knew what we were getting into, sort of. As much as we may romanticize the newspaper business, nobody mistakes it for a stable or lucrative career choice. Alt-weekly employees especially recognize the distinct un-marketability of their chosen model. We did unpopular things. We wrote about unknowns we thought should be better known. This is not a recipe for clicks.

We wanted clicks, of course. Clicks are nice. Clicks equal readers.

But we wanted them on our terms. We put bleeping, blooping sound experimentalist Charles Cohen on the cover and implored you to check out his stuff. Those who did: We love you. We really do.

Those who didn't: Enjoy your grim, dim, dystopian hellscape, you monsters of entropy, you horrible, horrible wretches.

Kidding, obviously.

Honestly, I can't remember a time when somebody wasn't declaring newspapers a dying medium. Alt-weeklies, in particular. Bloggers, many of whom have moved on to other pursuits, loved to say that shit in the early 2000s. It's been a drawn-out death scene, hasn't it? A lot of withering and carrying on.

Deep breath.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to wax Dan Savage's helicopter.