Vice on the "emerging fetish" of aliens laying silicone eggs in your butt and/or twat:

VICE: Hey, Lone Wolf. Most readers probably aren't familiar with how Ovipositors function. How do you explain them to people?

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Lone Wolf: The idea is to replicate the act of being impregnated with eggs. Usually from an alien or insect. If you've seen the Aliens movies, you'll get the picture. Many people find this sort of thing very arousing. The toys are simply phallic-shaped hollow tubes that can be used to insert gelatin eggs into oneself. There is a funnel-shaped hole in the bottom to receive the eggs, which are inserted one by one, forcing them up the tube and out the top....

I consider myself pretty open minded, but I'm honestly still struggling to see the appeal in this. Can you try one last sales pitch?

There are different perspectives of everything, and Ovipositors are no exception. Many like to envision an alien creature that wants its eggs inside you. It can be a little intimidating or off-putting to those who do not fantasize about being the willing or unwilling host of alien beings inside them. It blurs the line of our own humanity to find sexual pleasure with something that is so far from human, and for some, just talking about it gets them wet.

I'm not buying it—I mean, I'm buying it, I'm sure there are people out there who are into this stuff, just as there are vampire fetishists and zombie fetishists out there. Pop culture has a way of crawling inside our collective erotic subconscious and laying eggs that, in some cases, hatch into crazy/fascinating/pleasurable kinks that can be safely explored and enjoyed with consenting adult partners blah blah YKINMKBYKIOK blah. But is this really something that "many people find... arousing"? That's what I'm not buying. It depends on the numerical value you attach to "many," I suppose, but "many" isn't synonymous with "a statistically significant percentage of sexually-active adults." But my admittedly unscientific rule of thumb is this: If I haven't heard of it, if I haven't received one letter or call about it, it's not something that "many" people are into.

But, hey, I'm happy to live in a world where the very small number of people who fantasize about aliens laying eggs in their front and/or back holes have access to sex toys that will tide them over until the actual alien invasion. Another win for consumer culture. Just one reservation: those eggs don't have a flared base. How do you get them out? Or do you wait for them to hatch and burst out?

UPDATE: I should have read the fine print:

How do you like YOUR eggs? Introducing the Splorch! It is an ovipositor designed for all those xenomorph fans out there who like the idea of alien eggs and impregnation. Made of soft platinum silicone, the Splorch is stretchy enough to handle chicken egg-sized gelatin eggs. Although we do not supply these directly, all Splorch orders will include a free 6-egg mold.

The eggs aren't silicone, they're gelatin—and you have to make them yourself. (There's a video that walks you through that process in a kitchen from 1978.) So you don't need to retrieve the eggs. You just have to wait for them to dissolve and then... um... YKINMKBYKIOK, YKINMKBYKIOK, YKINMKBYKIOK.