Hey musicians, are you ready to complain about your lives, anonymously? Send us an e-mail and well do our best to SLIDE IT IN.
Hey musicians, are you ready to complain about your lives, anonymously? Send us an e-mail and we'll do our best to SLIDE IT IN. photosthatrock/ Shutterstock.com

Dear Musicians, Music Enthusiasts, and Music Biz Professionals,

Do you have a secret grudge against the bass player, or maybe a secret crush on the drummer (ew!)? Would you like to tell that booker where he can put his condescending attitude? Or wait: What if you ARE a booker? Perhaps you'd like to give that arrogant band that showed up two hours late, trashed their dressing room, didn't bring any paying audience members, and then demanded more drink tickets a piece of your mind. Managers, do you feel unappreciated? Engineers, ever wanted to tell Mr. Pedal Hopping gearhead how wrong he's doing it? Fans, would you like to explain why your love runs deeper than anyone else's? Well, you are all in luck.

You may have seen I, Anonymusic—the country cousin to our much beloved I, Anonymous column—when it premiered last week.

If not, please take a look. Then take another look, this time inside yourself, and prepare to get that big weight off your chest. In public. But still in secret. Shhhh.

All you have to do is send an e-mail to anonymous@thestranger.com, with your music-related rant/story/long-distance dedication. Your identity will never be revealed—and neither will anyone else's. Remember to change the names (of the innocent and guilty alike). And try to keep it to 200 words or less.