Blogs Feb 9, 2014 at 6:00 am

Comments

1
Finally, an easy one. It's part of a prayer for the destruction of Babylon and Jerusalem's other enemies. Which means (because the LORD works in mysterious ways) that Bush's invasion of Iraq in 2003 was the fulfillment of prophecy, and completely justified as an act of biblical revenge.

QED, babies. Sorry about the whole destruction thing.
2
Sanctity of life in a nutshell.
3
Do unto others that which you want done to you.
4
Take that, stupid babies!
5
Best verse in the bible, but I hate kids.
6
I think this is a mistransliteration of "The kids only like to get stoned"
7
The "Bible" is some of the most perverse, most pornographic, most grotesque writing in the history of mankind.

And yet billions of people make believe that it is a sacred document that should be taught to children.

Nuts!
8
If you think this Scripture reference is gory, just wait till the 49ers play the Seahawks next season!
9
This is my favorite Bible verse to annoy Christians.
10
Oh look, it's this verse again.
11
the part just before this is the verse of "rivers of babylon", which is a fucking great song, whether by the melodions or steve earle:

By the rivers of Babylon
Where he sat down
And there he wept
When he remember Zion

It was the wicked

Carry us away captivity
Require from us a song
How can we sing King Alpha's song
In a strange land
13
I know it always makes me happy.
14
Just because someone is happy, doesn't mean they are not terrible, murdering, baby-killing psychopaths. They could just be a happy psychopath serial killer.
15
Long distance flying with kids really is a bitch.
16
@7: The Bible isn't particularly pornographic. You may be thinking of the Song of Songs...
17
This is why fundies hate abortion: you can't smash a baby to death against a rock if it's never been born.
18
@10 @12 I've been running mostly repeats for most of a year. And even before that, most of the Slog Bible Study posts had already appeared on HA Bible Study.

That's the way we teach the Bible. Repeating it over and over again, year after year.
19
@18, I'm aware of that. I only bother to double-check and comment occasionally. But you've alluded several times to having some sort of method to your madness. As my grandmother used to say during Sunday dinners, "There's more in the kitchen!" Granddad cured her of that by repeatedly calling her bluff.

If your only point is the tediousness of religious brainwashing, we get it already. I might have wanted to marry sweet, slim Sister Bernadette back when I was a baby fag in catechism, but those days are gone.

Still, carry on. There's always gold in the comments. I won't bring up the repeats anymore.
20
@18 Turn this beat over to another.
21
@11: I had the same thought, when I clicked through to see the rest of Psalm 137. It's a lovely, wistful song. I had always thought of it as a Bob Marley song, but Mr. Google confirms it was originally the Melodians. The lyrics end before the topic of the psalm turns from lament to vengeance.
22
Whoever wrote that must've been on the same Alaska airlines flight from Houston to Seattle that I was on.
23
Nobody's gonna try to explain how were missing the real meaning behind this, like they always do? It's symbolic, right? Yeah, this ones embarrassing.
24
@18: Lol at "teach"
25
Blessed are the late-term abortionists.
26
@23: 137:8-9:

"8 O Babylon, you will be destroyed.
Happy is the one who pays you back
for what you have done to us.
9 Happy is the one who takes your babies
and smashes them against the rocks!"

But remember, thou shalt not kill...
27
Those babies are the kids of Buono voters.

- Bridget Anne Kelly
28
@22, holy fuck. I was on that plane too. Screaming-ass rugrats and their stupid Texan parents playing HORSIE with them for four hours.

In that case, kill the parents and re-educate the kids. There would be fewer conservative votes in Texas that way too, so bonus!
29
Talking about Christian bullshit, an asshole Catholic blogger with a serious case of Holier-than-thou's tweeted some shit about gay bowel syndrome. Dan Savage responded by starting a fundraising drive for Planned Parenthood.
30
JPS translation from the Hebrew:

Fair Babylon, you predator
a blessing on him who repays you in kind
what you have inflicted on us;
a blessing on him who seizes your babies
and dashes them against the rocks!

And the painfully beautiful Psalm 137:

By the rivers of Babylon
there we sat,
sat and wept,
as we thought of Zion
There on the poplars
we hung up our lyres
for our captors asked us there for songs,
our tormentors, for amusement,
"Sing us one of the songs of Zion."
How can we sing a song of the Lord
on alien soil?
If I forget you, O Jerusalem,
let my right hand wither;
let my tongue stick to my palate
if I cease to think of you,
if I do not keep Jerusalem in memory
even at my happiest hour.
32
OMG, there is a psalm about the idea of pillaging and ethnic cleansing somewhere in the bible.
33
@26 Goddamn you, Babylon! How dare you enslave us the same way we have enslaved others. What? No, shut up, it's totally not the same thing!
34
Hm.... I don't remember this verse from Sunday school.
35
@34, King James version ring a bell? "Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones." Easy for that to go in one ear and out the other.
36
@33: Remember, all the commandments have a gaping exception: "If the priests say to do it, then it's ok!" Killing is bad when it's because Joe made you mad, but if Joe worships a different god, HOLY WAR IS ON!!!
37
@11, 30: Psalm 137 reminds me of some in-universe prose from "The Guns of Avalon" by Roger Zelazny, which was almost certainly inspired by the psalm.
"Beyond the River of the Blessed, there we sat down, yea, we wept, when we remembered Avalon. Our swords were shattered in our hands and we hung our shields on the oak tree. The silver towers were fallen, into a sea of blood. How many miles to Avalon? None, I say, and all. The silver towers are fallen."
38
@33, who were those "others" the Hebrews supposedly enslaved before 597 BCE?
40
The Bible, a testimony of everything horrible in humanity.
Written by men, for men - or, by killers, for killers.
41
you are a piece of shit Paul, go fuck yourself

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