She promised that she wouldn't tell anyone about me!

Sex between consenting adults should not be the government's concern or a crime of any kind. Even in exchange for money.

MLP fanfic.

Goldy should have jumped ahead two books to Ezekiel 25:17:

The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy My brothers. And you will know I am the Lord when I lay My vengeance upon you.

Haha- I love filing through the different translations each week. Dig this one: http://mobile.biblegateway.com/passage/?…

Proof that Tijuana donkey shows were sanctioned by the Good Book.

@2

There are appropriate times and places for sex between consenting adults and there are certain pairings of consenting adults that should be regulated if not criminalized. Doctor-patient, judge-lawyer, professor-student. supervisor-subordinate, on the street, in a restaurant kitchen, at a school, while on duty, etc.

@7 Penalized, not criminalized.

@8

Oh, okay, I think I get it. You're referring to the actual sex itself, which would be okay (not criminal) if circumstances were different, such as if the teachers did it away from school grounds instead of the classroom or if the judge and lawyer quit their jobs or recused themselves or waited till after the trial. Prostitution, by contrast, is considered a crime even if it's between consenting next-door neighbors done in the privacy of one of their homes. So yes, penalized under certain circumstances, not criminalized.

Sounds like this girl knew how to have a good time. What a pleasant passage.

@5 Seems more like an impression than a translation. Like someone was trying to write down what they barely remembered from reading the Bible long, long ago.

Who knew Egyptians were so equine? Maybe Moses led the Jews out of Egypt due to feelings of inadequacy compared to the local johns?

The 11th Commandment:

NO NONSENSICAL OUTRAGE.

ONLY "More Outrage"

OBEY!

See the movie.

Hey, didn't we study the donkey dicks verse already?

If anyone was wondering about what Ezekiel 25:16-17 (KJV) actually says:

"Therefore thus saith the Lord God; Behold, I will stretch out mine hand upon the Philistines, and I will cut off the Cherethims, and destroy the remnant of the sea coast.

And I will execute great vengeance upon them with furious rebukes; and they shall know that I am the Lord, when I shall lay my vengeance upon them."

The Pulp Fiction "Bad-Ass" version is just something Tarantino basically made up. Works well for the scene/character though.

Hey, it's racist. ( and a repeat )

yup, a repeat from jun 26, 2011: http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/archive…

funny--both this & the onion horoscopes have been repeating themselves.

http://www.theonion.com/articles/your-ho… = http://www.theonion.com/articles/your-ho…

http://www.theonion.com/articles/your-ho… =
http://www.theonion.com/articles/your-ho…

et al.

what's next? only reruns of "car talk"???

Since when did prostitutes start picking out clients based on their genital size rather than trying to lure based on wallet size?

I wonder if the fundamentalists who want Bible reading in public schools would be willing to read this passage out loud to a classroom full of seventh graders.

Are many women impressed by emission size? The passage was clearly written by a man, from a male perspective. Like the entirety of the bible.

It's funny how some communities out there push to ban books (Sherman Alexie for example) then they will turn around, go home and preach the bible and all it's whore mongering, donkey fucking glory to their children.

@4,
Say "what" again!
I dare you!
I double dare you motherfucker!
Say "what" one more goddamned time!!

@20 and 22

My born-again brother used to tell my mother that she could only have play-dates with his son if she agreed to teach him a bible verse each time. Once she was in a rush because brother was about to come pick grandson up, so she opened the bible at random and taught grandson the first thing she saw: "You have only to say the word and I shall give you anything you desire, even unto the half of my kingdom."

Later that night, brother called her and said, "When I ask you to teach him a bible verse, I want you to teach him something that Jesus said, not something that Herod said."

Turns out that Herod says this to Salome right before she says, "I want the head of John the Baptist on a silver plate."

I will kiss your mouth, John the Baptist!

Salome's Last Dance is the only Ken Russell film I ever liked, even if some of the Oscar Wilde segments are a bit clunky.

with all the sexytime talk in the bible, you'd almost think humans have been into it since the dawn of man... 6,000 years ago, that is.

@19 - maybe "prostitute" would be more equivalent to "skank" in today's English? Or maybe she just really, really liked her job.

@21 - is the "good for your complexion" thing for real, or just something guys made up so the ladies would submit to facials?

There are some hot passages in Song of Solomon. "Your breasts are like two young roes that are twins, that feed among the lilies."

@5: I think this translation ends all discussion.

http://www.lolcatbible.com/index.php?tit…

@30 From your link :

"11 And teh youngr sister saw this but wantd to be bigger ho then oldr sister. It wuz on lik donky kong.12 So she gots her sisters blak book an findeds all the mens who made teh nastee with her sister. An she sayd "HAI U R HOTT LETS MAK OUT"13 An I sees that she is lik her sister. Becuz they iz lik teh ho. An now she iz durty. Lik a ho.14 But she wuld gets honry at pikshurs of mens in red.15 An she gots turnd on by theyr belts and theyr hats and teh red, becuz red is teh awesom.16 An soes she hads her girlfrenz tell the mens in red where to hav gud time.17 An teh mens in red did things to her. And she did things to herslf with teh mens in red. And then lots of mens in red tuk turns doing things to her. And then she was lik eww gross."

Absolutely lovely. Thanks so much for this enjoyment !