All these chastity devices are worthless.The ones that actually prevent a jerking off don't work under clothes. Just tell him not to masturbate until given specific orders to. It is all a head game anyway. As soon as you try to make it about hardware you lose something.
Totally a great thing to do though. Masturbation is better when you only get to do it "on demand"
Okay, on a related note: I like asking a man I'm dating not to come until he can see me; I like the sense of the tension building and that I am associated with the need for release.
But I wonder if I'm not setting myself up for an encounter in which the guy can't hold out for very long. I've read some tips for guys who have a P.E. problem, and they're frequently told to masturbate before the date so that they can last longer.
So I guess my question is: if I ask a man to wait and either not masturbate or not orgasm until our next date (say, a week away), will that result in a less satisfying encounter?
@9 That's an easy question to answer, but you won't like the answer: It varies. It's going to vary by the man and quite possibly over time with the same man. This is why you can be interested in doing certain things in general, but then need to figure out what specific things work within the specific details of the specific person you're involved with. So, give it a try if you want it and he's okay with it, and if it doesn't work out, try something else. Just don't make him feel bad about what the results are. When you experiment with something, it doesn't always go great, but that's part of learning and finding the things that do. So, it's important to make it okay to have things not work out, if you want a relationship where it's okay to try new things. And that goes beyond just sex. Even with mundane things, it needs to be okay to ruin a dinner now and then to be able to try new recipes, for example.
"@9 That's an easy question to answer, but you won't like the answer: It varies. It's going to vary by the man and quite possibly over time with the same man. This is why you can be interested in doing certain things in general, but then need to figure out what specific things work within the specific details of the specific person you're involved with. So, give it a try if you want it and he's okay with it, and if it doesn't work out, try something else. Just don't make him feel bad about what the results are. When you experiment with something, it doesn't always go great, but that's part of learning and finding the things that do. So, it's important to make it okay to have things not work out, if you want a relationship where it's okay to try new things. And that goes beyond just sex. Even with mundane things, it needs to be okay to ruin a dinner now and then to be able to try new recipes, for example. "
@9, you're expecting to get there and have one round of vaginal sex and leave? What is your sex life like? Bring the guy to orgasm with your mouth or hand and then fuck him. Or fuck him twice, and he'll last longer the second time. How is this an issue?
Sorry, that was a bit harsh. I'm just surprised - premature ejaculation generally becomes a problem when a guy does it every time, not once after holding out. If you want him to masturbate before sex, make him masturbate while staring at you.
Check out the blog Denying Thumper. It is the report of the arc of one mans life in chastity, which was very much his idea. Thumper has been writing for four or five years now,mans covers most of the bases.
And by the way, Dan-men can go without orgasm for a very long time without worrying about cancer risks.
It's not anything on which I'd spend political capital, but I hope you don't spring the question out of nowhere on people as a regular expectation. This seems to be one of those things that could come across as a possibly entertaining game, but less than optimally presented to someone without a predisposition in this general direction can wander into DTCMFA territory - I can visualize letters to Mr Savage now.
Then again, one or two of the opposite-sexer men who post often around here might suit you quite well...
Ms Cute - An idea; perhaps you might enjoy exploring hypnosis. It didn't strike me as a perfect match for your situation at first, but the idea of your partner associating you with a desirable sensation or experience seems close enough that, even if it doesn't apply exactly to this situation, you might find something of interest along a similar line.
@13 Dan doesn't cover the marriage equality beat. I suggest you take your update on the struggle for equal rights in America to a more appropriate venue.
Camouflage dick locks? Are you kidding me???
Thank you! I'm here all week! Try the veal!
Totally a great thing to do though. Masturbation is better when you only get to do it "on demand"
But I wonder if I'm not setting myself up for an encounter in which the guy can't hold out for very long. I've read some tips for guys who have a P.E. problem, and they're frequently told to masturbate before the date so that they can last longer.
So I guess my question is: if I ask a man to wait and either not masturbate or not orgasm until our next date (say, a week away), will that result in a less satisfying encounter?
Quoth @10,
And by the way, Dan-men can go without orgasm for a very long time without worrying about cancer risks.
It's not anything on which I'd spend political capital, but I hope you don't spring the question out of nowhere on people as a regular expectation. This seems to be one of those things that could come across as a possibly entertaining game, but less than optimally presented to someone without a predisposition in this general direction can wander into DTCMFA territory - I can visualize letters to Mr Savage now.
Then again, one or two of the opposite-sexer men who post often around here might suit you quite well...