Comments

1
Stop writing about David Stern continuing to keep the stolen NBA team from Seattle.

That's what you're talking about, right?
2
I call bullshit. There's no way that baby had time to learn to read and write before it died.
3
You mean before it was MURDERED.
4
The grave has a way of MATURING you?? Bwahahaa!!
5
What is going on here? How did the aborted fetus learn how to write? The only explanation is that Ken Hutcherson is a wizard and cast a necromantic spell to bring it back undead and then spent the rest of time making it into a meat puppet. And don't necromantic spells require you to use other people's trapped souls in payment for magical power over the dead and undead? Does his God know that he is doing this?
6
If fetuses are people, can I get life insurance on it?

Just curious.
8
That little shit deserved it for the one minute of my life I just spent reading this, that I will never get back!
9
Who??
10
"You see the day I took my first breath was also the day I breathed my last.

Hahahahaha! Hey, Hutch, what did you use for lungs? An embryo/fetus under 20 weeks can't breathe on its own.
11
This is a conceptual rip-off of "Diary of an Unborn Child," an execrable written piece that first appeared in a Victor Buono monologue, was co-opted for publication by the Jehovah's Witnesses in 1980, and most infamously turned into a terrible song by Christian novelty artist Lil' Markie. If you choose to find that on the web and listen to it I deny all responsibility.
12
You'd think he'd be happy to be in heaven with a god instead of being forced to live in such a sinful world.

Christians don't think things through.
13
If fetuses are people, can they apply for concealed carry?

Asking for a friend...
14
*sigh* You can't ascribe consciousness to a creature whose brain lacks the ability to be conscious. Science fail.
16
In fairness, Ken seems to have let a bit of his own personal remorse shine through:
"I just wish I would have known what it was that made me less than human so I could have tried to fix it. Sadly, it was my fault for not working harder on this."
17
My Ken Hutcherson Google alert just went off....FOR THIS POST. Spooky.
18
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nO5dYyrcm… Lil' Markie did it better.
19
The thing sounds kind of whiny to me. Probably would have grown up to be a conservative. It was all for the best.
20
@12 By the same token, religious people (or at least those who posit a happy afterlife) should be laughing and cheering at funerals. The fact that this is less than common makes me suspicious they have secret doubts about the rosy picture in their faith.
21
@19 - This. I love you Catalina!
22
Any fictional fetus is still smarter than the real Ken Hutcherson.
23
The last paragraph sounds like a speech Jerri Blank would make at the end of an episode of Strangers with Candy.

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