Maybe we both misread it because we expect Dan to serve us some seriously bizarre shit, and a Vegan Woman With Pit Bull would even more over the top than than a Vegas Woman.
Or maybe I misread it because I once knew a vegan woman who *was* into animals as a sexual fantasy, but I've never had any female friends from Vegas.
@4,7 Gross, as a legal term means "Great; culpable. General. Absolute or entire. A thing in gross exists in its own right, and not as an appendage to another thing."
I'm a 25-year-old woman. A couple of years ago, I had a bit of a run-in with the law when I was caught having sex with my pit bull. I was NOT in my right mind at the time due to (a psychotic episode/drugs/too much Jagermeister). I've since gotten help and my life together, and I do NOT have an attraction to pit bulls (or any other breed). Unfortunately, since my mug shot and name were plastered all over the local news and the internet, I've had to relocate and change my name in an attempt to live this down.
Here's my question: I've started dating a really nice guy. We're really hitting it off. What's my obligation to disclose, here? I am fully prepared to take this to my grave (even with a long-term partner) but I am TERRIFIED that he might find out. After all, my picture and (former) name are still "out there" connected to this, thanks to the internet.
@11, maybe some plastic surgery is also in order here. Maybe move to a distant country that does not have such a prejudice against pit bull love? Great letter! Thanks for the laugh.
I hope "Smoking Gun" leaks the arrest report. I'm strangely drawn to know what exactly was going where. I'm guessing she was having the dog go down on her.
I think Savage Love already had a letter confessing "my dog eats my pussy". It was one of the "I don't know how it happened" variety, iirc.
12/13 There are few things I get more of a kick out of than people who feel the need to correct grammatical errors in their anonymous comments on blogs. Because really, God forbid someone out there should think "wisepunk" doesn't know the difference between "its" and "it's," right?
@11,
No, it'll be one of the "How'd that happen??" letters, as in:
"Dear Dan,
I was minding my own business, watching TV and having a cigarette, when I realized someone must have replaced my regular tobacco cigarettes with crystal meth ones. I didn't realize it until it was too late and by then I was passing out. I must have fallen out of my clothes on the way to the ground, and my wonderful dog probably thought I was injured and tried to scoot me to the door. Well, now the neighbors think I'm a meth-addicted dog-fucker. How'd that happen??"
@21 I am most certainly not anon to these folks. Half of them are writers, librarians or full time GN's (I'm looking at you, leek). If I don't correct myself I will never hear the end of it. I know better than to piss off the flying monkeys.
@26 The male dog has a "bulb" at the base of the penis which swells once inside the female dog, thus "tying" them.
I don't know if this would occur in a male dog/female human situation, but even if that's not the case, I doubt that she'd be pulling Bowser out to greet the police.
"Vegan Woman Arrested for Sex With Pit Bull"
Brain turned to mush. Too much SLOG today.
Maybe we both misread it because we expect Dan to serve us some seriously bizarre shit, and a Vegan Woman With Pit Bull would even more over the top than than a Vegas Woman.
Or maybe I misread it because I once knew a vegan woman who *was* into animals as a sexual fantasy, but I've never had any female friends from Vegas.
And one can certainly be lewd without being gross (though that is a bit subjective, I guess.)
But this is definitely both.
Hi Dan--
I'm a 25-year-old woman. A couple of years ago, I had a bit of a run-in with the law when I was caught having sex with my pit bull. I was NOT in my right mind at the time due to (a psychotic episode/drugs/too much Jagermeister). I've since gotten help and my life together, and I do NOT have an attraction to pit bulls (or any other breed). Unfortunately, since my mug shot and name were plastered all over the local news and the internet, I've had to relocate and change my name in an attempt to live this down.
Here's my question: I've started dating a really nice guy. We're really hitting it off. What's my obligation to disclose, here? I am fully prepared to take this to my grave (even with a long-term partner) but I am TERRIFIED that he might find out. After all, my picture and (former) name are still "out there" connected to this, thanks to the internet.
What should I do?
Sincerely,
Regretting Puppy Love
http://twitter.com/_VegasWoman
I think Savage Love already had a letter confessing "my dog eats my pussy". It was one of the "I don't know how it happened" variety, iirc.
"Pitbull rapes Vegas woman"
No, it'll be one of the "How'd that happen??" letters, as in:
"Dear Dan,
I was minding my own business, watching TV and having a cigarette, when I realized someone must have replaced my regular tobacco cigarettes with crystal meth ones. I didn't realize it until it was too late and by then I was passing out. I must have fallen out of my clothes on the way to the ground, and my wonderful dog probably thought I was injured and tried to scoot me to the door. Well, now the neighbors think I'm a meth-addicted dog-fucker. How'd that happen??"
Exceedingly gross and disgusting.
I don't know if this would occur in a male dog/female human situation, but even if that's not the case, I doubt that she'd be pulling Bowser out to greet the police.
Honestly, it's 16th street- that's No Man's Land.