And I wonder why I can't meet a nice guy I like . . .

What a sicko!

I, for one, will only dress up and role-play as a raccoon... nothing else...any takers? It's not pretty...

@2, yeah baby, knock over that trash can...?

As a vegan I do swallow. Hey it's cruelty free!

It's hard to be non-judgmental. Are some people just not interested in a relationship with a human? Kink is one thing, but most of a real relationship consists mostly of pretty mundane stuff. Dinner, breakfast, vacuuming, washing, tv, garden, work, socialising, etc. How do you achieve that with a butt plug up your butt and a tail strapped to you as you crawl around?

I wonder why the butt plug? No real dog wears/has one.

@6 So the tail looks real/attached....no tape needed? And you don't need a poop bag when taking your dog for a walk? Good for the owner, bad for the pet...

@3 Ohhhh yeah...it gets real kinky...

And by kinky..I mean this...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JRLjd6ve3…

@6 That's for the tail.

http://media.steampowered.com/steamcommu…

This is amazing, I've been wondering about the same thing as the LW!

@8, I'll be in my bunk.

I think I am pretty open minded, but sometimes I think these people just have too much time on their hands. Maybe take up a hobby or two?

this'll cause some raised eyebrows at the dog park.

I don't understand the question.

@8 I loved that show as a kid!

...oh and as a Raccoon sub, I would be looking for a Cyril Sneer dom.... With perhaps an appropriately shaped nose/face mounted dildo?

onway ethay ownday owlay: ogay earsbay!

As long as I don't have to vacuum and can pee on the floor, I am available.

"The whole point is that, when done, there is a dog shaped like a human, but the shape is the only thing that isn't dog about my pet. "

That might be the most batshit insane sentence I have ever read.

@16, great, now Cyril is NSFW.

Why not a human centipede?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IX8fKLjC_…

@14: That's because there wasn't actually a question posed by the LW. I suppose the implied question is, "Will I ever find someone who agrees to this?"

I think I speak for most of us when I say, "I hope not."

$5 says this letter was typed with one hand.

So I've seen guys into pup play, on both sides. I talked to the sub after, who told me about the head trip it sent him on. They might do it fun for one night a week, for a few hours a night.

Every day, all day? Reality is such a boner-killer.

The people who really do live in 24-7 dom-sub situations? The number of props used and the complexity is so minimal, it borders on Ozzy and Harriot.

@20 ha, ha..it's true!

If the safe word is the only word that the "human pet" is allowed to speak, it doesn't sound like a very useful safe word.

Somewhere, a room full of college Republicans are screaming with joy that Dan actually sounded like he took them seriously.

Well, readers have been asking for more weird kinky stuff, and less heterosexual "normal" relationship stuff. So I guess Dan is obliging.

Reminded me of this:
Good Neighbour

I don't understand why Dan would post something as sick as this?

This person is probably dangerous and needs psychiatric help, at least!

Dan is just giving ammo to right-wing jesus-cultists and other theocrats for posting sick shit like this.

My earnest answer to the Letter writer is this;

Human pet games in BDSM land, with people dressing and acting like dogs is nothing new under the sun, but you sound different to the run of the mill doggy play fetishists.

If in your mind, your "human pet" is so close to being a dog that you feel like sex with it borders on bestiality, then you are engaging in imaginary bestiality, if nothing else, and if that gets you off, then perhaps you have an inclination towards bestiality. Furthermore, this act may reinforce that tendency, and take you closer to the point of becoming a risk to pets, if it so happens that you, on top of being a (real) dog fetishist, lack the self restraint to stop you from abusing real dogs which you might have in your care.

Nothing in your letter suggests you would. But if in your fantasy world, you are having sex with a dog, and the idea of having sex with an animal which is incapable of consent doesn't horrify you and kill your boner, then how do you propose to bring back that empathy for innocent animals that you blocked when you were (in your mind) fucking your (human) dog?

just be a responsible pet owner and remember to spay/neuter.

Who DOESN'T swallow? I mean once you are at the point where someone is cumming in your mouth, how rude would it be to go spit it out?

@34

Every girlfriend I had in high school.

It was all fine play up until "The pet becomes so completely a dog that I wonder if it is bestiality to have sex with my dog/human pet." and it breaks into "FAAAAAAAAKE" territory.

@2: I'd be worried about you attacking my puppy and giving me rabies.

@36 Good news! I've had all my shots... And I only attack when someone interupts my hockey game watching!

I'm game if you'll be my pet kitty.

Lol @33.

Just more proof that everyone's sex life is hilariously ridiculous except your own.

@31 "I don't understand why Dan would post something as sick as this?"

High entertainment value ...

@31: "Dan is just giving ammo to right-wing jesus-cultists and other theocrats for posting sick shit like this."

Watching a man and another man hold hands is enough to throw them into a red-faced titty fit, who cares? They'll find something to hate regardless of what Dan posts. Consensual/weird posts and possible pranks aren't going to give them any more ammo than what Gomorrah they already have in mind.

If your still looking I'm very interested in having a master...Contact me at moldenough@gmail.com