Was the mint... wafer thin?

Amethysts are not very fun, if you place them there.

I'd try a smooth ruby instead.

Shopkeeper: [Homer has agreed to purchase a Krusty doll for Bart's birthday] Take this object, but beware it carries a terrible curse!

Homer: Ooh, that's bad.

Shopkeeper: But it comes with a free frogurt!

Homer: That's good.

Shopkeeper: The frogurt is also cursed.

Homer: That's bad.

Shopkeeper: But you get your choice of toppings.

Homer: That's good!

Shopkeeper: The toppings contain potassium benzoate.

[Homer looks puzzled]

Shopkeeper: ...That's bad.

Homer: Can I go now?

I love The Simpson's but I think @1 wins...by the thinnest margin possible.

I've never met Anna, but I have met Cienna. Which is why it made no goddamn sense to see her on a diet. Girl, you is thin, let your tummy enjoy everything this planets bounty has to offer.

I work writing for a health company and I spend much of my time combing research on the latest health fads.

"Cleanses" and "Detox" are market buzz words and they mean absolutely nothing.

Any doctor or researcher that has spent time with cleanses (that aren't on a cleanse company's payroll of course) will tell you same thing. Drinking only water or fruit juice is just as healthy...and that is to say, not very healthy. You may lose weight, but you're not getting any healthier.

Our bodies are not a cesspool of garbage calcifying in our organs.

Eat good things(balanced vitamins and minerals), eat in moderation, and exercise regularly. We found the silver bullet to healthy decades ago, but the health industry constantly tries to reinvent the wheel with shit like this.

@6 bah. there's nothing fun and shiny in "Eat good things(balanced vitamins and minerals), eat in moderation, and exercise regularly."

We want fads. We like fads. We feel productive with fads.

My next fad diet involves deep-fried crickets.

I had to be on a liquid diet for two weeks following some intense oral surgery. Even though I was only consuming slightly less calories per day than I normally would have, I NEVER felt satiated.

Human beings need to CHEW!

(Just wanted to say I'm happy to see Allyn back, also caralain and undead ayn rand, among others. Be nice if balderdash and others return as [I'm guessing] seasonal depression lifts. Can we do a post on favorite missed commenters or sumpin'?)

Oh, rob! You're so sweet. Thank you. I have missed this place. (Even the crackpots, believe it or not.)

We missed you too.

@8, I hear you. I also had intense oral surgery as a teenager that left me with a broken jaw and on a supposedly satiating liquid diet for about six weeks. It was hell. By the end, I was too weak to walk a whole city block without resting and started losing my hair.

I'm pretty sure I cried when I chewed my first meal (Ramen noodles with a soft boiled egg) in months.

Hey, if you're going to blow off a ridiculous liquid diet, THIS IS THE WAY TO DO IT. (I.e., enthusiastically and as soon as possible.)

I am happy for all the pointlessly miserable days you did not subject yourself to.

I don't know, Cienna, you really don't want to end a fast/juice diet with something as greasy as a cheeseburger. It's not the meat that will be a problem, it's all the fucking grease/oil... that messes up a stomach like nothing else. bleh. You could only do worse by adding a plate of fries.

Bon appétit. I guess.

@ 6 YES. @ 7. Cambodia has the good recipes...

my motivation to drink juice

Remind me, what was the motivation again? Masochism? Because it was there? Cleansing toxins from your qi? Constipation?

I am so glad that you are back on solids! You scared the crap out of me with that curse dust stuff.

Cienna managed to invent a new form of concern trolling: tell people that you're doing something stupid, and get assurance that there are people who are actually concerned about your health and wellbeing.

Well done!

@18, Right? Tomorrow I'm writing an article about how fun it sounds to jump off the roof of a building with an umbrella. Weeeeeee!

@19: That is the best avatar I've ever seen.

Wait a minute, is this a secret installment of "Our Worst Enemy"?

Seriously, you should do an encore of that series, they were fucking hilarious.