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800 Maynard Ave S, Suite 200, Seattle, WA 98134
800 Maynard Ave S, Suite 200, Seattle, WA 98134
Masters in fact train their subs to fuck and fist them in exactly the way that they like, sometimes without regard to the subs pleasure at all (although I'd argue in a healthy BDSM relationship, the sub was getting his satisfaction out of serving).
I do wonder about straight trans women though...especially because a lot of guys who are into women like this are all about the contradiction of attractive woman with a cock as a fetish or fantasy lay. Or at least that's my main impression. Maybe they would be into a serious, long term relationships but my main thought is that most trans women are not planning on staying that way or have already had the surgery?
And if you're post-op or planning to be...I would still think disclosure is essential but isn't the "trans" part as attraction rather diminished as merely a footnote for this woman? So how to come out right away on more conventional dating websites where "LGBT" isn't often part of the conversation?
I guess the question is would a post-op (or planning to be) woman find much of an audience on a trans dating site? I suppose there would at least be men with open minds...curious/open straight or bi guys where genitals are less of a priority one way or the other...
Maybe it doesn't matter...if any potential relationship is good, it's good... regardless of how or why people find each other. And we all start with those initial "shallow" preferences when looking for a partner.
Down in the unmentionable place, a "Sub" wants to get fucked by a "Dom" who's on top. When that "Dom" decides to order the "Sub" to do the fucking, the "Sub" is going to be pissed. He's going to feel defrauded for the umpteenth time.
In that very incorrect rat brain, Dom=Top=Penetrate, and Sub=Bottom=Be Penetrated. Yeah, yeah, point out all the exceptions. Which are usually soft-ons and compromises and self-deception and disappointment.
Doms, if you're getting older and have erectile dysfunction, do what I did: Look at it as an engineering issue and get testosterone, Viagra, Cialis, or the like. But don't play the I'm going to be your master and order you to fuck me game. It's a dodge, and you know it. So (especially) does he. Call yourself "versatile" and be done with it.
I'm the mythical gay Dom 100% top. Trust me, this is well received, pardon the pun. I can't tell you how many Subs say to me, "It's about damn time."
But really, everyone gets to make their own rules and write their own definitions. But if you want to satisfy someone, and your own self, pay attention to the very incorrect shit that goes down in that rat brain. No one ever argued themselves into a hardon, trust me on that.
Buck Angel is nothing, if not all man.....swoon. I'd love to play with him. But he's a gay man with little interest in dating women. He wants men who want his plumbing, not women and not men who 'are open to' dating a trans man. He's proud of his body, with all its parts, and it seems to me that all FTMen would do well to emulate him, regardless whether they're into men or women.
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Oh for fuck sake, would you PLEASE fucking learn how to fucking use apostrophes? It's "Mistresses", not "Mistress's"
That's only because they haven't seen my wife taking it up the butt. There is very little control on my part about what happens. She is totally in control of the situation. She is getting *exactly* what she wants at any given moment in time, and she has a way of making that expressly clear without having to so much as utter a word.
When *she's* stuffing *her* cock up *my* ass on the other hand, there's plenty of words exchanged. ;)
- The plural of Mistress is Mistresses, not Mistress's.
- "Afterwords"? You were looking for "afterwards". (Afterwards can be used instead of afterward as long as it's being used as an adverb, and relating to time, both of which were true in your sentence.)
I guess we all have brain fart days. The content was top-notch though!
After all, the role of the submissive is to service the needs of the dominant. If the dominant one wants to get his ass fucked, but he isn't getting what he wants because it doesn't fit some stereotype of what the dominant should want, then he really isn't dominant at all.
You can't call yourself the master or dom if you aren't getting what you want from your submissive / slave. The slave services you, in what ever way you want, and so long as they do what you want, the way you want it, then you are the one in charge.
And to touch on what Seandr said @7, anyone can be a top. It takes a real man to take a good ass pounding and come back for more, dom or sub.
> a "Sub" wants to get fucked by a "Dom"
> [if the] "Dom" orders the "Sub" to do the fucking, the "Sub" is going to be pissed.
> He's going to feel defrauded
> It's a dodge, and you know it. So (especially) does he.
> I can't tell you how many Subs say to me, "It's about damn time."
> if you want to satisfy someone
In some D/s relationships, as shown above, the sub is really in charge, and everything follows the fantasy script. The dom wears a costume, utters phrases the sub wants to hear, and fucks the way the sub wants. If that's your kink - excellent. Have fun.
In other D/s relationships, the doms seek to please themselves, first and foremost. Their subs get off knowing that the dom is taking what the dom wants, and not posturing, pretending to be some big Fantasy Dom who just happens to want to fulfill the sub's own turn-ons. And those relationships -- where the dom's desires are put first -- are just as real as the other kind.
> we all start with those initial "shallow" preferences when looking for a partner.
Having, um, encountered a wide variety of bodies cis-gendered and non-cisgendered, for a range of sexes and identities -- for better or worse, cisgendered bodies on the outside are a bit different from transbodies on the outside, especially genitalia -- for MTF taste & function is a bit different; for FTM taste, function, & appearance is a bit different. It's just a fact of life given the state of technology & surgery in 2013.
I found @10 comment quite amusing, stating at first how "everyone gets to make their own rules and write their own definitions." and then making statements about how what subs really want and how it should all go down and therefore contradicting your very first statement.
Caveat -- online dating eliminates the chances "clicking" with someone who isn't one's usual cup of tea, so since transman is into other men, he should also try in-person gay speed dating.
While I think he should be upfront in his online profile, I don't see the need for him to reveal on a 5 min. speed date that he's a transman, because in speed dating it's all about whether you click or not in person. But he should come in the first full length date, if it looks like it's going someplace, as it's a reasonably salient thing to know early on, kind of like if you're a single parent and have a kid at home.
Also, where do you make the leap of logic that the only reason a Dom would want to be on the receiving end is because he can't get it up? That might have been your personal experience with whatever person you are basing your rant on, but as either a general principle or a logical conclusion it is totally unsupported.
I haven't seen it mentioned a lot but those meetup groups (www.meetup.com) are a pretty good idea...A good way to meet new people with common interests in a generally safe and controllable situation...and little commitment to go to any event that you don't want to or don't feel comfortable with.
So the idea that a Dom is the only one who gets "pleased," well, that might be your idea but it's not mine. Like I said before, anyone gets to write their own rules and call themselves anything they want to call themselves. All I tried to say was that, in my experience, down deep where none of these words matter, it's usually "Dom=Top=Penetrate" and "Sub=Bottom=Get Penetrated."
Gay Subs are always looking for the elusive "real" Dom, which almost always means someone who'll fuck them and never want to be fucked. It just so happens that my rat brain wants to fuck and never get fucked. It works for me, and for the Subs I see out there. I get A LOT of feedback about this along the lines of, "Finally, a dominant top."
I'm not telling you I'm right and everyone else is wrong. It probably sounds like I am, but I'm trying to say what I think most Subs are actually looking for. It's real simple: "Stick it in my mouth. Stick it up my ass. Don't touch my dick. Better yet, don't even look at it. And please, sir, please don't suck my dick or tell me to stick it up your ass, because I'm not going to be able to get stiff for that."
I've got more than a little experience at this, and I think this is the way most Subs are wired. I want 'em to like it. I want 'em to like it so much, in fact, that they fuckin' beg for more of it. And you wanna know what? That's what they do.
#20, if someone else wants to make different rules and call themselves whatever, I don't care. I'm only offering this view. If it amuses you, great. If you're finding enough people to do it your way, you've got my congratulations.
Nothing against "trans" as people. I sympathize. I think it'd be a tough road to travel, usually a very tough road. But I'm not going to get hard. And I can always tell. Damn that wiring, but I can always tell, or the part of my brain that tells my blood to go fill up my dick can always tell. And if you're smart, you celebrate that part of your brain. You nurture it and trust it and honor it, and above all, you listen to it. Talk about submissive! Here I am, the big swaggerin' "Dom" who's completely submissive to what I bet is a shockingly small corner of real estate somewhere at the base of his skull. Oh well.
So should an online trans-man tell the other guy? The answer: Yeah, and right away, if you actually intend to meet up. Why? Because no matter how alluring your talk, this will eventually boil down to a real estate merger in a part of two brains that couldn't really give a flyin' fuck about the words.
Here's something else. The male is a much more visual animal than the female, unless maybe he's blind and then other sense take over. This is why the profiles without pictures don't work too well with men. We want to see what ya look like, and God help ya if you don't resemble your pics on the actual meeting. It's not about your character or your story. It's about whether you get my dick hard. We'll work out the rest later.
Here's something else: The only reason to communicate online is to arrange a meeting in person. If you swap more than two or three e-mails before that happens, someone's usually bullshitting someone else.