News Jan 3, 2013 at 11:59 am

Meanwhile in Utah

Dan Savage
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Comments

1
Morning Vista sounds a lot like Morning Fista. F and V are the produced by the same lingual- labio-dental arrangement (top teeth on bottom lip, tongue back in the mouth), but V is voiced and F is not. Morning Fista seems kind of self-explanatory and anti-corporate.
Chicago Fan on January 3, 2013 at 12:07 PM Report this
2
If a gay pervert like ME had to look up the sexual definition of Morning Glory, then Utah is just full of people with dirty minds.
very bad homo on January 3, 2013 at 12:09 PM Report this
3
"Morning Glory" sounds too much like pitching a tent in the morning, how do we fix that?'

"How about Morning Vista, sir? That doesn't sound like pitching a tent at all."

"I CONCUR!"

Sigh..I live inside a stupid, stupid, bubble.
Pick1 on January 3, 2013 at 12:10 PM Report this
4
@ 2, same here. Maybe I'm just not hip, but until I read this, I had no idea that there was an "objectionable" unofficial definition.

That said, corporations do that stuff all the time. In one Denver suburb, there is an actually street named "Lucent Blvd."
Matt from Denver on January 3, 2013 at 12:13 PM Report this
5
"How long will it take...?"

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.ph…
Bored@School on January 3, 2013 at 12:18 PM Report this
6
@4,
The address for Celestial Seasoning tea's HQ in Boulder is 4600 Sleepytime Drive.
Urgutha Forka on January 3, 2013 at 12:20 PM Report this
7
@ 6, another good example.

Also, I meant to write the word "actual," not "actually" in my comment. Whoops.
Matt from Denver on January 3, 2013 at 12:22 PM Report this
8
@3: the Morning Vista the act of looking down your body to your morning wood rising like the sun (aka the Morning Glory).
Drew2u on January 3, 2013 at 12:22 PM Report this
9
Morningwood would be a good alternative. Go for it, Lehi!
Max Solomon on January 3, 2013 at 12:26 PM Report this
10
Morning Vista could be cum stains on sheets.
Pope Peabrain on January 3, 2013 at 12:29 PM Report this
11
Jesus Christ and all the Latter-Day Saints, what would the Mormons do without hard-ons? Their whole business model is predicated on them. Their churches are marked with pointy spires instead of crucifixes. And what about the heavenward jut of the trumpet that the Angel Moroni's always tooting?! You can't tell me that's accidental.

Why blush over a two-word phrase that most people associate with a flower?
rob! on January 3, 2013 at 12:35 PM Report this
12
Why a company wouldn't want to be associated with a rock solid boner I just don't get.

Morning Vista sounds like awaking to realize your "date" isn't exactly what you thought they were.
Dougsf on January 3, 2013 at 12:36 PM Report this
13
And here I was thinking that they didn't want the association with psychedelic drugs.
Gerald Fnord on January 3, 2013 at 12:38 PM Report this
14
@6,7: And of course in Louisville, CO, the Storage Tek company is long since defunct, but it left behind the busy thoroughfare Storage Tek Drive, and its two minor cross streets (and in truth I kind of like these) Disc Drive and Tape Drive.
Eric from Boulder on January 3, 2013 at 12:46 PM Report this
15
"Morning glory" as an "alternative meaning" is very old-fashioned. Those Utah guys must be older than dirt. Only old people get that one without having to look it up.
People like me.
originalcinner on January 3, 2013 at 1:19 PM Report this
17
Morning Vista is when you lift the sheets and take a POV shot of your Morning Glory and sext it to somebody.

Mourning Glory is when you have nobody to share it with...lol.

debug on January 3, 2013 at 1:36 PM Report this
18
First thing I thought of was drugs too.
Sandiai on January 3, 2013 at 2:19 PM Report this
19
The first thing I thought of was Darren and Samantha Steven's residence, 1164 Morning Glory Circle. I had no idea it had an alternative meaning.
Catalina Vel-DuRay on January 3, 2013 at 2:26 PM Report this
20
Morning Vista is a blend of coffee and hashish. Not much of a change.
Will in Seattle on January 3, 2013 at 2:44 PM Report this
21
I never heard this before. Thanks, Utah!
this guy I know in Spokane on January 3, 2013 at 3:44 PM Report this
22
Wow that company's PR team needs to be fired. They went from being able to look at people who snickered and say "it's a flower...what's wrong with you?" to having everyone in the world associate them with the perverted definition.
EclecticEel on January 3, 2013 at 3:49 PM Report this
23
The definition for Morning Vista is even better:

After having unprotected sex, when you try to take a piss, but it goes everywhere and you have to clean the bathroom.

biffp on January 3, 2013 at 3:59 PM Report this
24
I'd never heard of the dirty meaning of "morning glory" either. But I have a suggestion for "morning vista":

One of my exes was quite horny in the mornings, whereas I'm a late and heavy sleeper. Since I sleep on my back, she would frequently hike down my pants, ride my "morning glory" until she came, then hop in the shower. Most of the time I wouldn't even wake up. But when I did, I was treated to the "morning vista" of my hot, naked girlfriend already fucking me.

So a "morning vista" is waking up to see your partner making use of your "morning glory."
I Hate Screen Names on January 3, 2013 at 4:02 PM Report this
25
I knew what a Morning Glory was, both erection and flower, but when I started to relate this story to my husband, he thought the company didn't like the band Oasis.
on January 3, 2013 at 6:19 PM Report this
26
Dan, you need to do a roadtrip for the next SLOG summer picnic to Glory Hole Recreation Area in California:

http://www.recreation.gov/camping/Glory_…
on January 3, 2013 at 6:23 PM Report this
27
If money is involved anything is possible.
Weekilter on January 3, 2013 at 7:08 PM Report this
28
@4: that's because Lucent is the only landowner on that street in the first place. Just like the owner of 1 Microsoft Way.
gromm on January 3, 2013 at 8:04 PM Report this
29
Maybe if Mormons drank coffee they'd be more familiar with the deliciousness of Morning Glory muffins.
ignatz ratzkywatzky on January 3, 2013 at 8:28 PM Report this
30
@1: Hee hee. 'Labio-dental'.
James Hutchings on January 4, 2013 at 4:04 AM Report this
31
@25 - all I could think of was Oasis too. So I assumed the "other meaning" had to do with drugs. Then I tried googling it and only found the flower. So glad Slog is here to enlighten me. LOL
daphne24 on January 4, 2013 at 7:41 AM Report this
32
@6 Have you also taken the tour of their factory and stood inside the mint room?

This story reminds me of a road near my hometown that got its name changed, but not for corporate reasons. It used to be called Dead Indian Road, but now it's called Dead Indian Memorial Road. I just looked it up to find the answer to the question I've had ever since I saw the new name: Did they think adding the word "Memorial" somehow made it more politically correct? From http://www.oregonencyclopedia.org/entry/… "In the 1990s, Jackson County decided to change the name to Dead Indian Memorial Road, but controversy over the name continues to erupt." Gee, I can't imagine why.
Trinabeana on January 4, 2013 at 10:46 AM Report this
33
Well I guess they'd better change the name of Afternoon Delight Blvd., then.
Mister G on January 4, 2013 at 12:39 PM Report this
34
Xactware itself does not appear in the urban dictionary--yet--so I visited their website, and learned they make estimating software for insurance. Team, how can we immortalize Xactware in the urban dictionary?
Frank N. on January 9, 2013 at 9:45 AM Report this
35
after my morning coffee I (and I'm sure this is not uncommon) have a very satisfying B.M. after which I (again not uncommon) HAVE to look at it before flushing.

this is my Morning Vista
kittykupz on January 15, 2013 at 10:46 AM Report this

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