Other side effects of The LORD include: excessive homophobia, persecution paranoia, and rampant hypocrisy. If any of these symptoms persist longer than four hours, stop taking The LORD immediately and consult your meta-physician.
The translation is a little off. It's one of my greatest pet-peeves and I kinda figured it would end up here eventually.
If we go back to earlier texts from which today's Bible has been assembled, it was quite clearly written as 'dust bunnies' and not 'mildew'. Think about it: mildew doesn't even make sense.
Merry Christmas heathens! Jeremiah 10:2-4: "Thus saith the LORD, Learn not the way of the heathen, and be not dismayed at the signs of heaven; for the heathen are dismayed at them. For the customs of the people are vain: for one cutteth a tree out of the forest, the work of the hands of the workman, with the axe. They deck it with silver and with gold; they fasten it with nails and with hammers, that it move not." (KJV)
Lemme see here ... I haven't been smit with the consumption (unless over-consumption counts) ... had the fever ... had the inflammation ... had the extreme burning ... not the sword ... no blasting (wait, did they even have blasting in those days???) ... had my share of mildew and/or dust bunnies, which I'm sure shall pursue me to the end of my days.
Not a bad bargain, overall, in trade for the eating of the bacon-wrapped scallops, or whatever else I did to deserve all this.
Who wouldn't want to be in that religion?
If we go back to earlier texts from which today's Bible has been assembled, it was quite clearly written as 'dust bunnies' and not 'mildew'. Think about it: mildew doesn't even make sense.
he will.
Not a bad bargain, overall, in trade for the eating of the bacon-wrapped scallops, or whatever else I did to deserve all this.