The shadowy cartel is actually headed by IHOP CEO, Julia Stewart. It's the only way they can afford their all you can eat pancake deals because the accountants forget to calculate in the cost of syrup
The syrup trade is dangerous and attracts a criminal element from across the border. We need to declare a war on syrup and set fire to any maple fields we find being grown in secret. For the children.
Then you get the power,
Then you get the women.