Comments

1
I love how it's still all about her.
2
If she was that bad before they married, they both need therapy.
3
Maybe it's because his dick is telling him not to stick it into batshit.

$20 says they are already divorced.
4
yes, i bet it's over too. once the love's gone it's really hard to get it back, and he likely decided she's not worth the effort. definitely sounds like he turned that corner.

also, good point @1.
5
@1: I know. Just leave him already.
6
Is she sure the man wasn't attracted to the crazy in the first place?
7
What 6 said. If things were ok while she was batshit, maybe that's were the attraction is.
8
I'm in a similar situation with my wife now; for a while she became very paranoid and was constantly angry. Some of this was due to stresses in her life, and I get that, but it still was miserable to be the scapegoat for it all. Now she seems to have calmed down a bit, but I'm still spooked, and I can't get into sex with her that much. What I'm looking for, really, is a sign that it's not who she is anymore, and it won't flare up again. So far, I don't see it.
9
Isn't a 'trifecta' three things? Maybe he's just turned off by stupid.
10
The betting term relating to four items is actually superfecta, although quadfecta and quadrifecta are sometimes used. In this case it would be a superbadfecta.
11
Did nobody think to JUST ASK HIM? I mean, you might not get a straight answer, but the answer does exist and it's between his ears, nowhere else. Maybe he thinks it's great she's less crazy outside the bedroom but he misses the crazy in it. Maybe he's "punishing" her for her past behavior and she needs to find out what Get Out of Jail card he's looking for. Maybe he realizes that this is the only form of control he has over her, and he's afraid that once he gives in she'll lose all incentive to stick with the therapy and go back to being her old batshit self. Or maybe they're both crazy control freaks and he now has the upper hand? I don't know, you don't know, nobody knows except the one person we haven't heard from.
12
10: I think the technical term is actually "shitstorm".
13
He is suffering a form of PTSD. After I got out of one of these relationships. I had to go through therapy before I could look at any woman and not think oh my god how much trouble is this person going to cause me.
14
In an alternate universe there's a woman whose abusive husband has convinced her that she's the cause of every problem in their relationship and he's cruelly withholding sex to boot. She writes to Dan Savage looking for a reasonably neutral viewpoint but he had sand up his anus that day, plus he never calls men on sexual manipulation. So, he calls her nasty names and smugly retires to buff his butthole with soft polishes.

Or perhaps the truth is somewhere in the middle, and saintly hubby is neither halo'ed nor GGG? Perhaps Dan's standard advice fits better: y'all gotta communicate. If one partner won't meet halfway, including refusing to communicate about sex, DTMFA.
15
I'm not seeing the sexual manipulation #14. What I'm seeing is guy who's wife scared the hell out of him and who might be just a tad reluctant to invest himself in the relationship. I think #2 is right and it's time to bring hubby in for a session or start seeing a couple's counselor.
17
@10, I've also heard 'quinella' used--and was confused, as I thought that should refer to five things, not four.
18
Thank GOD that Dan cleared up the trifecta/quadfecta thing. It was driving me nuts.

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