Blogs Nov 25, 2012 at 6:00 am

Slog Bible Study: Malachi 2:2-3

Goldy
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Comments

1
Fecal play? Yow, those minor prophets sure were a kinky bunch!
pat L on November 25, 2012 at 6:38 AM Report this
2
Ah yes, the "Dirty Malachi".
Backyard Bombardier on November 25, 2012 at 6:46 AM Report this
3
I accidentally read it as " I will smear on your FECES the dung from your festival sacrifices". And I thought, wow, shit on shit fetish..... That's some kinky shit. Still, not comforting to know that god invented German Scheiße films.
Pol Pot on November 25, 2012 at 7:46 AM Report this
4
Empty your fucking pockets! Now!
Pope Peabrain on November 25, 2012 at 8:03 AM Report this
5
Well, if the lord's gonna be cursing my blessings before I even have them, then I'm just not gonna be blessed. Take that, asshole!
mikethehammer on November 25, 2012 at 8:26 AM Report this
6
So if you are sacrificing an animal and it poops on your face, that means God doesn't like you. Good to know.
I have always been... east coaster on November 25, 2012 at 9:16 AM Report this
7

The only Malachi I recognize is Malachi Constant, the space wanderer. All others are false prophets
Pol Pot on November 25, 2012 at 9:17 AM Report this
8
And the Malachi Brothers demolition derby team from Happy Days
California Kid on November 25, 2012 at 10:01 AM Report this
9
He wants you too, Malachi.
NotSean on November 25, 2012 at 10:13 AM Report this
10
Exactly why I stopped with the bother of festival sacrifices.
BLUE on November 25, 2012 at 10:22 AM Report this
11
Why are they sacrificing dung in the first place?

Worst sacrifice ever.
rainbird on November 25, 2012 at 10:24 AM Report this
13
Thank GOD, this only applies to old Jews I do feel that many of these festivals are shitty aff erairs. Actually though, the older Jewish festivals seem cooler than the newer Christian festivals...
pupuguru on November 25, 2012 at 10:42 AM Report this
14
God. The original shit talker.
on November 25, 2012 at 12:20 PM Report this
15
What the LORD Almighty says in Malachi 2:2-3 is what people used to say to their kids before they invented "If you two don't stop it, I will TURN this car AROUND!"
bobbyjoe on November 25, 2012 at 1:00 PM Report this
16
I manage to get through my festival sacrifices without any need for dung, but thanks anyways.
Fnarf on November 25, 2012 at 2:22 PM Report this
17
So THE LORD is a primieval dung flinger! Why does this not surprise me?
blackhook on November 25, 2012 at 3:35 PM Report this
18
You do realize that all the parts of the Bible where they warn of Hell, they're just talking about the burning fire in the trash dump of Jerusalem, right? And it wasn't "for eternity" it was literally "a long time". As in five years, because people thought that was a long time.
Will in Seattle on November 25, 2012 at 3:47 PM Report this
19
@2 - Ha! Good one.
Free Lunch on November 25, 2012 at 6:06 PM Report this
20
Holy Dirty Sanchez, Batman!
jimmy on November 25, 2012 at 7:02 PM Report this
21
I have to say that the LORD Almighty of the OT was one vitriolic asshole. I wonder what mellowed him out so much by the NT? Was it finally being able to get his rocks off with the Blessed Virgin?
crone on November 25, 2012 at 7:18 PM Report this
22
I kinda wish this Lord fella would speak in complete sentences to folks today. It's really hard to have a dialogue with your creator when all you get are ambiguous mystical "signs" every now and again.
treacle on November 26, 2012 at 10:36 AM Report this

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