Not only do I hope she did NOT do any of those things, I hope she didn't threaten to do any of those things either.

Because of a few selfish shit heads posting pics/videos on the internet of their SO's doing stuff, now EVERYBODY is reluctant to allow pics/videos of themselves. They ruined it for everyone.

2007 was a long time ago. I hope Dan, that you wouldn't suggest a threat like this today.

That last paragraph: "Finally, LMFP, pix or it didn't happen."

And I second @1, but for a different reason: a man with Ivy League connections could get all legal up on your ass if you start threatening him.

I'm with Urgutha Forka on this one: your suggestions have a whiff of grand juries about the LW's future if she took your advice.

Okay, here's what I can't figure out:

Is LMFP more upset by the fact that she lost her favorite panties or that the "alpha male" is gloating over his victory?

Is this the result of a giant, bruised ego?

Is it motivated by self-disgust that she would give away her favorite set of underwear to someone who had already stood her up "a couple of times?"

Or is she trying to engineer a way to see him again under the guise of 'I want my undies back?'

Small Claims Court will likely laugh this one out of the courtroom, sadly. She will be out a couple hundred bucks or more for filing fees, process server, and so on. Since she gave him the articles of clothing willingly, he did not break any law. Maybe theft by possession. Maybe.

I don't think "Alpha Male" means what you thinks it means.

I am *so* wondering how she dealt w/ this. What was the ultimate fate of the treasured and valued black lace bra and matching thong panties?

Surely she's not going to wear them again. For one thing, they are probably all overstretched and the elastics ruined.

So I think the "They are my FAVORITE and I want them BACK!" is indeed a cover for something else. My guess is she just can't stand the though of him "gloating because he won," and wants them back to assert her power.

Which is perfectly within her rights.

I second #6's suggestion to (threaten to) take him to small claims court. It keeps her legally unassailable and is just as embarrassing for him. Plus she might actually get them back, or, if she's very lucky, be awarded their worth in cash. That'd be even better because then she could buy a new set.

If she was extra forgiving, she might have just asked him to replace the items, or put up the funds for them. Nice undies aren't cheap! Obviously her having owned and enjoyed them gave the guy extra motivation to get them for his own wear.

Why threaten? Just do it.

@9,

I know Dan's arch-nemesis Prudie just recently ran a "special" column in which she dug up five interesting old submissions and allowed readers to vote for which one she followed up with to see how her advice played. Maybe we could mount a campaign for Dan to do something similar...

Too many exclamation points. My eyes hurt.

@13 I know he's done something similar in the past, but it laid the responsibility on the OPs to contact him. I like the idea of him/his office hunting down folks as a follow-up, finding out what's going on.

@3: So his options are: a.) he gives the undies back, or, b.) he gets "all legal up on your ass" -- which means he forces her to enter into public record all the lovely pictures of him in her underwear -- in the hope that he can punish her for trying extort him out of, well, her own underwear. Do you really think he would go for option b?

@1 But she is not responsible for the welfare of nude pics for all. And it doesn't "ruin it for everyone"; "everyone" should be exercising enough caution to only give incriminating pictures to trusted parties, and to make sure identifying details are cropped/blurred.

If you don't screw anyone over, and you make sure only to give photo evidence to sane, trustworthy people, you don't have much reason to fear a picture in the hands of your partner or ex. But there is always a chance things will leak, and that is a risk you are accepting by sending other people pictures of yourself.

She should have totally threatened sending the pictures to a friend/colleague or website and followed through if he didn't send the panties/bra back. He probably would have been able to deny it anyway even if she had to go through with her threat, but at least it would teach him a lesson.

What in the world?? The bra is one thing, but what would make her ever want to wear a THONG that someone else had BORROWED, ever again?

@5: Yes.