Blogs Apr 24, 2012 at 11:34 am

Christian Homophobe Slams Mike and Ike Candy for Subversive Gay Relationship

Cienna Madrid
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Comments

1
i'm guessing they're not so into tasting the rainbow either
reverend dr dj riz on April 24, 2012 at 11:38 AM Report this
2
This is what happens when you let gays marry - candy shacking up with candy, and is it any surprise when their unholy relationship fails? MIKE & IKE ARE DESTROYING THE SANCTITY OF THE RAINBOW OF FRUIT FLAVORS!!!
Hernandez on April 24, 2012 at 11:40 AM Report this
3
These are the same folks that brought us Good 'n Fruity if I'm not mistaken.
bbilly on April 24, 2012 at 11:42 AM Report this
5
Wait, this is not a Poe???#??
ScrawnyKayaker on April 24, 2012 at 11:48 AM Report this
6
@3, if you mean Good'n'Plenty, no, those are made by Hershey. I think that's the "bear version" if you catch my drift.

And Hot Tamales are actually flamboyant and very spicy sex workers. Cha cha cha.
Fnarf on April 24, 2012 at 11:48 AM Report this
7
Damn, society sure is fragile if this is the kind of thing that threatens do destroy it.
Proteus on April 24, 2012 at 11:53 AM Report this
8
What?

Since when were Mike and Ike "people" who are in a gay relationship? I must be way behind on my candy news.

I think it is hilarious though, as if I needed another reason to eat Mike and Ikes. Delicious.
Theodore Gorath on April 24, 2012 at 11:55 AM Report this
9
Don't get me started on the what the Jujyfruits get up to, jostling around in the box together. It's a goddam bukakke party in there.
gloomy gus on April 24, 2012 at 11:56 AM Report this
10
How on Earth did Perkins make this promotion a sexual thing? If you read the fictional character's "blog", Mike talks about dating girls, and liking Hillary Duff. Apparently Mike & Ike have been reworked into 20 somethings.

Tony Perkins, the only gay person in this scenario is you.
Rob in Baltimore on April 24, 2012 at 11:58 AM Report this
11
I think I missed how this sexualizes candy. Do we know they were even having sex? Maybe that's why they're breaking up.

Jesus - why is this any of our business? Can't we let pretend celebrities have a bit of privacy? Damn candy tabloids.
Matt the Engineer on April 24, 2012 at 11:59 AM Report this
12
@6 just did some googling and you're right about Hershey. Good n' Fruity was/is a less popular Hershey spinoff of Good n' Plenty.

During a brief goth phase, I was once accosted by some at-risk youth on the L in Chicago. Being a smartass, I offered them some of my candy. "Fuck you and your Good n' Fruity," was their response. Still a phrase I pull out of my hat occasionally.

I won't even get into my theories on Pixy Stix, Gushers, Butterfingers and Jolly Ranchers.

bbilly on April 24, 2012 at 12:00 PM Report this
13
@11, oh, like you've never found two Mike'n'Ikes stuck together before.
Fnarf on April 24, 2012 at 12:00 PM Report this
14
I lied - wasn't Butterfinger the name of Marlon Brando's character in Last Tango in Paris.
bbilly on April 24, 2012 at 12:05 PM Report this
15
This guy is really gonna lose it when he hears about Hershey's new gay bar.
malcolmxy on April 24, 2012 at 12:08 PM Report this
16
Gus, you know this is the real bukkake party gum...

http://www.munchiessweetsandtreats.com/F…
wisepunk on April 24, 2012 at 12:10 PM Report this
17
They're little candy penises. Any man who eats them must secretly want to suck cock. And any woman who eats them is a whore.

Blip's right about those M&Ms.

And how can Perkins not stand up against the sexualization of candy? How can you do that to Baby Ruth?!? CPS needs to get in on this, stat.

And Mounds? That is objectifying women! We cannot stand for this!!!!
Allyn on April 24, 2012 at 12:10 PM Report this
18
H'm. Wikipedia says that Mike and Ike (They Look Alike) were comics characters created by Rube Goldberg in 1907. (Check out the page to see Ike washing dishes in a frilly apron!) They were turned into candy icons in 1940 by the oddly named Just Born company, who I guess still makes them today.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mike_and_Ik…
--MC on April 24, 2012 at 12:14 PM Report this
19
It's just a clever marketing campaign to distract people from the fact that the box is shrinking and you're now paying the same amount for a 5oz box that you used to for 6oz.
Gern Blanston on April 24, 2012 at 12:31 PM Report this
20
Ugh, you damn liberals want us to endorse Mike & Ike's sinful lifestyle. Next you'll expect the government to grant amnesty to illegal Hot Tomales out stealing shelf space from AMERICAN candies. I can't stand it, I'm retiring to my villa in Italy.
Zebes on April 24, 2012 at 12:31 PM Report this
21
I'm dying to know what Tony Perkins thinks about Lighthouse Candy.
john t on April 24, 2012 at 12:35 PM Report this
22
Hilarious. Religious wingnuts will take the bait (Gummi Worms?)everytime. It's like shooting Swedish Fish in a barrel.
thatsnotright on April 24, 2012 at 12:41 PM Report this
23
@12
Hershey?
*snicker*
*snort*

Billy's a chocolate sailor!
*snrck*

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WYYbunqF…
fairly.unbalanced on April 24, 2012 at 12:46 PM Report this
24
@16 sploosh! I don't mind it in my hair, but when it gets in my eye it fucking STINGS.
gloomy gus on April 24, 2012 at 12:55 PM Report this
25
They had so much in common!! Ike was taking it up the vowel for years though with any number of boxed candies. So I hear. I've always preferred the straightforward honesty of a blow pop.
ciennasmommy on April 24, 2012 at 12:56 PM Report this
26
Gay = "sexualizing"
Hetero couple in the same situation would've been completely ignored, even old-fashioned.

Lame, Tony. I mean we all know you're obsessed with gay sex, but come on, you're just waving it in our faces at this point.
balderdash on April 24, 2012 at 1:00 PM Report this
27
Cienna-

I like your mother.

-Allyn
Allyn on April 24, 2012 at 1:00 PM Report this
28
@27, don't encourage her. Next thing you know you'll be crosseyed drunk and elbow deep in a ewe's vagina. And God help you if you spill her jam-jar gin...

Beware my own private Idaho, is what I'm saying.
Cienna Madrid on April 24, 2012 at 1:18 PM Report this
29
These guys are like the Westboro Baptists. They'll cling onto anything as long as it keeps their names in the papers and the donations pouring in.
undead ayn rand on April 24, 2012 at 1:33 PM Report this
30
@23

It was a triple entendre...? Hershey is also a city in PA, so the new gay bar would be...well, the new gay bar.
malcolmxy on April 24, 2012 at 1:35 PM Report this
31
Perkins also says that the Secret Service scandal is due to open homosexuality in the military. I know, right? A man having sex with a woman? That's so gay! Especially if he pays for the sex!
venomlash on April 24, 2012 at 2:00 PM Report this
32
Two Musketeers seek third. Own sword? Huge plus! Jousting and foodplay a must(no nougat allergies).
bedipped on April 24, 2012 at 2:02 PM Report this
33
DON'T get me started on the abomination that is modern-day Good 'n' Fruity. They used to be weird, tasty fruit versions of Good & Plenty, with (as I just discovered while researching this vital matter last week) a red-licorice flavored chewy thing in the middle and the candy shell outside it. Now they're just like elongated jelly beans, which is to say not that much different from Mr. Mike and his Ike.

Fruit candy diversity: more important than ever.
leek on April 24, 2012 at 2:07 PM Report this
34
@17, some times you feel like a nut, sometimes you don't. They couldn't have made it any clearer than that.
Fnarf on April 24, 2012 at 2:20 PM Report this
35
@32: I think you mean "Three Musketeers seek fourth", nimrod. The book is the most inaptly-titled piece of good literature I've ever read.
venomlash on April 24, 2012 at 5:10 PM Report this
36
Yeah, they don't actually say they're in that kind of relationship, but—as I believe Dan once said—"subtext" is just another way of spelling "buttsex."
Fred Casely on April 24, 2012 at 5:13 PM Report this
37
"subtext" is just another way of spelling "buttsex."

You just blew my mind.
MLM on April 24, 2012 at 5:58 PM Report this
38
I always knew Mike & Ike were gay... But I thought it was because I put them in my butt.
scratchmaster joe on April 24, 2012 at 6:12 PM Report this
39
I just wanted to say thank you to #20. That made me larff.
clashfan on April 24, 2012 at 9:51 PM Report this
40
Umm first of all who cares if they are gay?? And to the one saying tht tthe marriage failed bc it was a gay marriage hey dumbass look around straight marriages fail everyday ... Simple minded people make me sick wit they small minds!! May your future kids grow up n make us gays proud by being happy wether its gay or straight u my friends tht believe gays r wrong u will never be happy u will talk shit til u die n y
Raynbo on July 7, 2012 at 11:22 AM Report this

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