In the immortal of words of Samuel Beckett, "Oh, BOY". Here come da hate parade.

Has Goldy been watching Torchwood: Miracle Day(teh goddamn Republicans won't die already and what bad things will then ensue version) or what?

Fuck the Republicans, sure, but jeeeesus, save us from a 4-day old reply on a blog.

July 20, 2011, the day Goldy phoned it in and didn't know when to hang up.

Did ya have a full weekend and three days during the week to whip up that gem?

Well, at least you blew smoke up Dan's ass, maybe he will not notice.

“Surely, any scenario in which Republicans achieved immortality would more likely mirror the plot to Highlander, their bodies proving as immune to age as they are to death." Huh? Um, pretty sure the Immortals were immune to age, Goldy. Am I missing something?

And just for the record, should the absolute horror of civil war fall on this country in my lifetime (something I truly DO NOT WANT, for I realize the childishness of such fantasies), I will do my patriotic duty to murder as many Corporatocracy soldiers as I can (be they Republican or Democrat) with a song in my heart.

This was days ago. Move on, and find something new to whine about.

NEXT

Goldy, this is my favorite thing that you've written. Forget the haters, this was a delightful read.

Indeed, forget the haters, this is gold.

+1, would read again.

Awesome.

I lurvz me some Goldy...shoot.

I guess we'll have to expand hate crimes legislation now.

As usual for a liberal, you overlook the incentive effects. If Republicans are immortal, that gives people a strong incentive to become Republicans.

"Clap, Clap, Clap, Clap, Clap, Clap, Clap, Clap, Clap, Clap, Clap, Clap!!!"

if they never die, they never meet jesus.

@ Max Solomon,

They'd have Jayzus tortured to death (again) at Gitmo on account ah bein' a furrin, liberal communo-terrahist (AND A JEW!), so he's fine with that.

One must be cautious Goldy, as I’m sure you’re aware, of falling into rhetorical traps that may end up to bite you. As we are comforted in our ideology, by our colleagues, friends, co-workers, spouses, partners, and family who share our view of the world – that we feel deserving in dabbling in dark humor, however innocuously, as we know for a fact that our fundamentals are so sound that no one on the other side could claim that we are serious. Nevertheless, we can’t escape the fact that, long ago, our adversaries established the same sentiments from the other direction and were so comforted; however, unlike what you’re doing here, they took it to another level and with utmost sincerity vilified, attacked, and murdered us. Given that history, please proceed with caution.

Lol @ crocodile tears at 12.

This was great Goldy. Loved "airport bathrooms" as native habitat.

I think what Dan meant to say (and would not have had to apologize for) is that he wishes that all Republicans would be RAPTURED.

I know I do.

This is why people don't let you into press conferences or treat you like a real journalist, big guy.

@21 Because he wrote a satirical column? Fuck sake.

you can always tell the kids who played too much Dungeons and Dragons.

I don't equivocate on my hatred of the Republicans....I WISH ALL REPUBLICANS WERE DEAD!!!! Literally DEAD DEAD DEAD!!! I mean look at that group of perverted asswipes...they sure as hell want the rest of us dead.

@3, you must be new here. Have you ever seen anything from Charles Maudede. Goldy never gets that stupid.

@23... I believe I played just the right amount of Dungeons & Dragons.

echoing what @9 said. this was fantastic to read first thing in the morning. :)

Now, now. You guys need to calm down. Do not admit to WANTING Republicans to die. That is evil and wrong.

HOWEVER, it is perfectly reasonable to point out HOW MUCH A BETTER PLACE THE WORLD WOULD BE if they would just up and die all of a sudden-like. You don't have to claim to "want" it, merely observing how beneficial to the rest of the world it would be if they just did.

Semantics is everything. The Republicans know this, and that's why they are so much more successful in their electioneering. The GOP are the masters of wordgames, and until we gain the same sort of expertise, good folks like Dan Savage will continue to stick their feet into their mouths (no homo) with silly comments like his on Friday.