OK: Let's play a game. I'm sure that if, at least in that trailer, you could replace Paul Blamart with one half-way decent actor, then it would look like a decent movie, but for the life of me I can't think of who it would be. But there has to be someone.
I think there needs to be a betting pool on whether Rob Schneider shows up, and as what animal. Being that there are a lot of cameos in this flick I wouldn't be surprised.
Lindy, please don't ever ask me as a loyal reader to do anything again. Slog reader waterboarding is what you did, and I will not be forgiving you for this violence against 'mericans.
I want betting on who the first person to see a racist intention behind the gorilla.
Loveable zookeeper gets chance with hot blonde chick. I'm guessing either:
1. Has to choose to end zookeeper career to get hot blonde chick, chooses to be a zookeeper and gets her anyway
or
2. With the help of hot black chick and boatload o' animals finally gets blonde chick to dig him, at which point he realizes he actually loves hot black chick instead.
Ow, my brain hurts. I couldn't watch it all the way, but I did waste more than 100 seconds. I will be sending my 9-year old son and all of his friends to this movie many times this summer and will have to hear every line repeated and repeated until I go into toxic shock. Thanks (I think?) for the warning.
@17, 20 - This is (yet another reason) why I'm not having kids. Tiny, noisy people you created dictating the craptacular mass-market entertainment you will be subjected to, either directly or via repeated quoting? No thank you sir.
@22 Raising kids teaches one not to be as self-important.
My real problem with this movie is I that I don't see the alternative romantic interest to the self-important snooty blonde. If he gets the rich bitch in the end it will send the wrong moral message and I will forbid the movie to be shown in my home. Values in fat comedian movies! Its all about values!
For everyone making fun of the premise of this film, I happen to love movies about suspended reality. Everyone knows that in real life an obese stupid white guy could never get a talented, hot smart chick like Rosario Dawson. Lucky for me, 99 out of 100 movies are based on this premise, and it never gets boring for women to watch. Never.
Okay as stupid as this movie looks, I love Kevin James as an actor and I'm probably going to see this. I actually laughed out loud at the wedding scene and I usually don't laugh during trailers.
Talking-animal premise is stupid, but I think it will have pretty good visual gags.
This trailer made me think of Herbie the Love Bug and Bad News Bears. So in sum, yes, this movie will make a lot of money in the most obnoxious manner possible.
I am officially taking you off my "trust this person when they tell you to watch something" list. That was abysmal. I hate that actor, I hate terribly animated/animatronic talking animals in live-action, and I hate the very fact that it was HIS JOB and not- oh- the fact that he is an older, fat, not-at-all-attractive loser that she Is not interested in him.
With all the PLEASE's and a fondness for a good portion of your reviews, I was compelled to comply. I trusted you. Guess I'm a pushover of a flying monkey, but no more.
I hope there will be poop jokes. I didn't see a single poop joke in the entire trailer. And a trailer is supposed to tell you everything that's in the movie. This film needs at least one lump of shit every 2 minutes.
Remember that Eddie Murphy film where the hamster shits in the coffee? Holy fuck, that was some comedy. They don't make poop jokes like that anymore.
@17, 20 - This is (yet another reason) why I'm not having kids. Tiny, noisy people you created dictating the craptacular mass-market entertainment you will be subjected to, either directly or via repeated quoting? No thank you sir.
Aw, my nine-year-old kid does Ned Sparks and Maurice Chevalier imitations and goes to art house flicks (he does walk out of films though, he doesn't put up with tragedy or crap or overt product placement so he'll never make it as a film critic). It's all in how you raise 'em.
After watching this amazing trailer, I can't imagine there's anything else that they saved for the movie. I feel like I've seen the whole thing already. The pacing could use a little tightening up, though. It dragged in a few places.
@46 and 34: so Rosario Dawson isn't the douche commercial babe who rejects him on the beach? There's actually a wonderful girl who loves him for who he is without all the effort on his part to be someone else?
If so, I am ready to watch this repeatedly on DVD with my kid while he gets valuable lessons in character and friendship...
PS: it appears there is controversy because the trainers of the elephant, Tai, used in this film have been caught on film abusing the poor animal in the past.
Truely, elephants don't belong where they have to be psychologically dominated...
Oh, Lindy. You didn't even know we were married, but now, for making me watch that trailer, (what if I'd been spotted!) we must divorce. I trusted you.
Russel Brand?
Dustin Hoffman?
Michael Keaton?
Anyone?
I think there needs to be a betting pool on whether Rob Schneider shows up, and as what animal. Being that there are a lot of cameos in this flick I wouldn't be surprised.
Also, this was the movie that killed the Toys R' Us giraffe: http://www.boston.com/news/local/breakin…
Eli Roth?
Arnold?
Loveable zookeeper gets chance with hot blonde chick. I'm guessing either:
1. Has to choose to end zookeeper career to get hot blonde chick, chooses to be a zookeeper and gets her anyway
or
2. With the help of hot black chick and boatload o' animals finally gets blonde chick to dig him, at which point he realizes he actually loves hot black chick instead.
@15, that's a movie I'd see.
My real problem with this movie is I that I don't see the alternative romantic interest to the self-important snooty blonde. If he gets the rich bitch in the end it will send the wrong moral message and I will forbid the movie to be shown in my home. Values in fat comedian movies! Its all about values!
I've been waiting my entire life for this.
There was maybe one LUL in the whole thing. Not even LULZ, LINDY!
2) Thank FSM I don't have kids.
Rosario Dawson is his coworker. That's practically her resume.
Talking-animal premise is stupid, but I think it will have pretty good visual gags.
I will no longer be following your links.
WHY, WHY, WHY?
Remember that Eddie Murphy film where the hamster shits in the coffee? Holy fuck, that was some comedy. They don't make poop jokes like that anymore.
Aw, my nine-year-old kid does Ned Sparks and Maurice Chevalier imitations and goes to art house flicks (he does walk out of films though, he doesn't put up with tragedy or crap or overt product placement so he'll never make it as a film critic). It's all in how you raise 'em.
A bajillion.
If so, I am ready to watch this repeatedly on DVD with my kid while he gets valuable lessons in character and friendship...
Truely, elephants don't belong where they have to be psychologically dominated...
oh wait I think that's the loaded cookie talking.