Film/TV May 17, 2011 at 2:50 pm

Comments

1
Lindy West I am now officially in love with you.
2
Why do you hate us so much, Lindy? After all we've done for you, why must you stab us in the brain like this?
3
Which animal is supposed to be Will Smith in this version?
4
GODDAMMIT WEST YOU OWE ME 150 SECONDS BACK.
5
Who knew that Kim Cattrall loves T.G.I. Fridays so much?
6
Damnit Lindy! Why would you do that to your faithful readers?
7
OK: Let's play a game. I'm sure that if, at least in that trailer, you could replace Paul Blamart with one half-way decent actor, then it would look like a decent movie, but for the life of me I can't think of who it would be. But there has to be someone.


Russel Brand?


Dustin Hoffman?


Michael Keaton?


Anyone?

8
Wow.

I think there needs to be a betting pool on whether Rob Schneider shows up, and as what animal. Being that there are a lot of cameos in this flick I wouldn't be surprised.

Also, this was the movie that killed the Toys R' Us giraffe: http://www.boston.com/news/local/breakin…
9
Ben Stiller?


Eli Roth?


Arnold?

10
@9 Jason Segel.
11
This thing had me at Aslan's entrance.
12
No actor on earth could save such cynical garbage. Every frame of that trailer was a giant fuck you to the audience.
13
@9 Eddie Murphy
14
Great slathering balls of hire! IS this SON OF FLUBBER? I think it is!
15
Lindy, please don't ever ask me as a loyal reader to do anything again. Slog reader waterboarding is what you did, and I will not be forgiving you for this violence against 'mericans.
16
I want betting on who the first person to see a racist intention behind the gorilla.

Loveable zookeeper gets chance with hot blonde chick. I'm guessing either:

1. Has to choose to end zookeeper career to get hot blonde chick, chooses to be a zookeeper and gets her anyway

or

2. With the help of hot black chick and boatload o' animals finally gets blonde chick to dig him, at which point he realizes he actually loves hot black chick instead.
17
Ow, my brain hurts. I couldn't watch it all the way, but I did waste more than 100 seconds. I will be sending my 9-year old son and all of his friends to this movie many times this summer and will have to hear every line repeated and repeated until I go into toxic shock. Thanks (I think?) for the warning.
18
@5, you made me spit out my coffee (from laughing).

@15, that's a movie I'd see.
19
I was gonna say, relax, this is gonna be a flop. But then the animals talked... yeah, it's gonna make billions.
20
My son will love this. He loves this actor. I will have to watch this a billion times when it comes out on DVD!
21
I liked Paul Blart: Mall Cop, so I look forward to this installment of the series.
22
@17, 20 - This is (yet another reason) why I'm not having kids. Tiny, noisy people you created dictating the craptacular mass-market entertainment you will be subjected to, either directly or via repeated quoting? No thank you sir.
23
If there ever was a sign of the End Times, this is it.
24
YES. YES.
25
@9 Udo Kier. For realz.
26
@22 Raising kids teaches one not to be as self-important.

My real problem with this movie is I that I don't see the alternative romantic interest to the self-important snooty blonde. If he gets the rich bitch in the end it will send the wrong moral message and I will forbid the movie to be shown in my home. Values in fat comedian movies! Its all about values!
27
For everyone making fun of the premise of this film, I happen to love movies about suspended reality. Everyone knows that in real life an obese stupid white guy could never get a talented, hot smart chick like Rosario Dawson. Lucky for me, 99 out of 100 movies are based on this premise, and it never gets boring for women to watch. Never.
28
I got bored when she said "no". That was a lot to sit through, Lindy.
29
GOD, YES!

I've been waiting my entire life for this.
30
All I know is, I *REALLY* want TGI Friday's for some reason...
31
@24, you'll have to wait until Saturday at 3.
32
I love you, Lindy, I really do. But goddammit why did you make me watch a TGIFridays ad? WHY LINDY, WHY?!?!

There was maybe one LUL in the whole thing. Not even LULZ, LINDY!
33
1) Do you really want to hurt me, Lindy?

2) Thank FSM I don't have kids.
34
@26 "My real problem with this movie is I that I don't see the alternative romantic interest to the self-important snooty blonde"

Rosario Dawson is his coworker. That's practically her resume.
35
Maybe I'm just really thick but which exactly was the life-changing moment? When they started talking? When they pulled up to the TGIF?
36
I'd watch a movie of Rosario Dawson doing her taxes.
37
Okay as stupid as this movie looks, I love Kevin James as an actor and I'm probably going to see this. I actually laughed out loud at the wedding scene and I usually don't laugh during trailers.

Talking-animal premise is stupid, but I think it will have pretty good visual gags.
38
Shut. Up.
39
This trailer made me think of Herbie the Love Bug and Bad News Bears. So in sum, yes, this movie will make a lot of money in the most obnoxious manner possible.
40
I am officially taking you off my "trust this person when they tell you to watch something" list. That was abysmal. I hate that actor, I hate terribly animated/animatronic talking animals in live-action, and I hate the very fact that it was HIS JOB and not- oh- the fact that he is an older, fat, not-at-all-attractive loser that she Is not interested in him.

I will no longer be following your links.
41
With all the PLEASE's and a fondness for a good portion of your reviews, I was compelled to comply. I trusted you. Guess I'm a pushover of a flying monkey, but no more.

WHY, WHY, WHY?
42
Kevin James getting advice on how to behave more like a bear is a metajoke, right?
43
I don't know if I should marry you or slap you because of that.

44
I hope there will be poop jokes. I didn't see a single poop joke in the entire trailer. And a trailer is supposed to tell you everything that's in the movie. This film needs at least one lump of shit every 2 minutes.

Remember that Eddie Murphy film where the hamster shits in the coffee? Holy fuck, that was some comedy. They don't make poop jokes like that anymore.
45
I can't decide if I love or hate this.
46
He gets with Rosario Dawson in the end. Either I'm psychic or Kevin James makes nothing but formulaic crap. Who knows?
47
@17, 20 - This is (yet another reason) why I'm not having kids. Tiny, noisy people you created dictating the craptacular mass-market entertainment you will be subjected to, either directly or via repeated quoting? No thank you sir.

Aw, my nine-year-old kid does Ned Sparks and Maurice Chevalier imitations and goes to art house flicks (he does walk out of films though, he doesn't put up with tragedy or crap or overt product placement so he'll never make it as a film critic). It's all in how you raise 'em.
48
After watching this amazing trailer, I can't imagine there's anything else that they saved for the movie. I feel like I've seen the whole thing already. The pacing could use a little tightening up, though. It dragged in a few places.
49
Yeah same old same old crap. Trying to push their view of love into some overly complicated game of hit and miss that promotes rivalry and jealousy.

A bajillion.
50
@46 and 34: so Rosario Dawson isn't the douche commercial babe who rejects him on the beach? There's actually a wonderful girl who loves him for who he is without all the effort on his part to be someone else?

If so, I am ready to watch this repeatedly on DVD with my kid while he gets valuable lessons in character and friendship...
51
PS: it appears there is controversy because the trainers of the elephant, Tai, used in this film have been caught on film abusing the poor animal in the past.
Truely, elephants don't belong where they have to be psychologically dominated...
52
@7/9: colin firth? george clooney? no wait.....ricky gervais!. yeah what that character needs is an accent.

oh wait I think that's the loaded cookie talking.
53
The only thing about this entire post that made me laugh was the comment @5. Well-done, @5.
54
Oh for the love of Christ... Horrible. Just horrible.
55
I am anxiously awaiting Mudede's review of this film. Its right up his alley.
56
Oh, Lindy. You didn't even know we were married, but now, for making me watch that trailer, (what if I'd been spotted!) we must divorce. I trusted you.
57
Oh dear lord, there's an app for that. http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/zookeeper…

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