Again - fuck Ken Mehlman.

How incredibly sad. I wish there were more options for parents whose kids are experiencing this kind of debilitating bullying, perhaps more options for homeschooling? Our oldest experienced some pretty bad bullying, and we pulled him out of school for a couple of years until he was old enough to go to a big highschool, although that wasn't perfect either. I just don't understand the hatred some people have for these kids, why is there so much fear about this? The gay kids who are friends with my kids are sweet, polite, interesting people who would never in a million years come across as threatening. How could anyone look at that sweet kid in the video and be threatened, or feel the need to start a group fomenting violence against him? I wish there were a way to just scoop up these kids before they think about suicide, and get them into an environment where people are more accepting.

I'm sure that the Jesus of that part of America approves of what happened.

Before the last century women used to die in childbirth quite often. And in many parts of the world, they still do. Must be god's punishment for being heterosexual. Or that could be a lot of superstitious bullshit. Religion is the enemy of freedom. Religion is the enemy of reason. Religion is the problem, not the solution.

@2: the option in my youth in Cincinnati was, and still is: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/School_for_…

10% of my graduating class were OUT gay kids. arts schools are needed in EVERY city (WTFU, SPS).

@2,

What's threatening to normal people (big, loud, potentially violent individuals) is not what's threatening to the mouthbreathers. Sensitive, intelligent, kind people are threatening to those fucks because they recognize their targets' inherent superiority. Also, bullies will target anyone perceived as an easy mark. A school district that refuses to protect students who fall into _____ category are giving tacit permission to bully those kids.

Let's not allow bigots to hijack traditional family, a traditional family is a warm and accepting family in all aspects.

I cannot watch that video. Too heartbreaking.

This is why the Ken Mehlman's and Ted Haggard's of the world can never be fully forgiven.

Cry.

I always feel outrage, energy, sarcasm, etc. flaring up in response to bigotry and discrimination against gay adults.

When a gay kid kills himself I always feel cut off at the knees, sandbagged, hopeless. Those "concerned parents" in Minnesota are hole-hearted.

More specifically, bullying ANYONE who is in any way different from the bully is a traditional family value...

Thanks for posting, Dan. I'm from that part of Minnesota and I can confirm it's a terrible place to be a young gay person. I survived, but now ten years later, reading about how so little has changed in my hometown is both unsurprising and shameful.

Would it be too much to ask that Target seek to promote the prevention of teen suicide in the state?

or would that conflct too much with their supposed pro-business goals?

Let's not overlook the fact that, according to the article, "a shadow group of parents formed in the district with the intention on staving off any advances for LGBT students." (Emphasis mine.)

In other words the opponents of allowing even recognition of LGBT students are vocal but prefer to remain anonymous. Very brave of them.

Whenever any group of anti-gay bigots who are misguided or just plain deceptive pull out the 'homosexual behaviour harms health' chestnut to oppose needed, helpful schemes like LGBT support groups, I wish there could be someone there to point out that lesbians have lower rates of STIs, lower rates of spousal abuse, near non-existent rates of those 'traumatic, unhealthy' abortions conservatives also dislike...even though gay males as a demographic have higher rates of STIs, how can it be physically or mentally healthy to be celibate, repressed, alone, miserable, deprived of love? Is that the healthy state they prefer? Is it 'healthy' for a gay man to marry a woman because of societal pressure only to divorce years later when the illusion can no longer be maintained, as we have seen in the UK this week with a prominent politician?

Is their definition of a physically healthy adolescent one who is no longer alive because of bullying?

Speaking of batshit christianists in Minnesota (we were, weren't we? yes we were!):

http://www.usatoday.com/news/religion/20…

Lutherans opposed to gay clergy form new U.S. denomination

By Jeff Martin, USA TODAY

The nation's newest church denomination has been created by Lutherans breaking away from the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America, which approved gay clergy in a contentious vote last year...

The 18 churches which have joined so far are in Wisconsin, Minnesota, Texas, Florida, North Carolina, Ohio, Pennsylvania, South Dakota, Tennessee, Virginia, and West Virginia. The breakaway group will have its offices in New Brighton, Minnesota; like Anoka, it's a suburb of the Twin Cities.

the problem with these people is that the intentional bigoted haters are in the minority. the vast majority are mostly good, genuinely kind people who believe what their preachers tell them when they say that homosexuality is a sin, etc. they don't want gay men to be celibate, repressed, alone, miserable and deprived of love. they want them to recognize the error of their ways and seek redemption in jesus, who will then remove the sinful fetter of homosexual feelings and guide them toward healthy, happy heterosexual relationships. that's what they believe, and when they say they have no malice for gays, they are being as truthful as possible. the problem is that what they believe is complete bullshit. they don't MEAN any harm (again, i'm only talking about the silent majority - those westboro baptist fuckers are another story entirely), which is what makes it so sad and so infuriating when they are causing so, so, so much awfulness.

Do these people ever bother to consider that maybe gay males would have lower rates of STIs if their relationships were considered normal and acceptable, and they were encouraged to settle down with their partners? Society creates an environment that is deeply, intensely toxic to these relationships, and then points fingers and calls them 'unstable' when they fail. It's like beating someone over the head with a claw hammer, and then blaming them for bleeding on the carpet.

HIGHSCHOOLERS: Just wait. It sucks right now, probably whether you're gay or not. If you're gay in a small town, it definitely sucks. Be patient, even though it seems impossible. If you can be patient, you will turn 18. Then do whatever it takes to GET THE FUCK OUT OF THERE. Go to the nearest city that has a gay scene, find a queer youth group, and start getting over the hate poison that's been pumped into you from day one. IT WILL GET BETTER. It will. Don't let the haters win by offing yourself - live a long, happy life, filled with self acceptance and love. That's a win for our side.

What a sweet, sweet young man (and I don't mean that in a creepy way), and what a very sad situation. To think that this young man felt that tomorrow, and the day after that, and the day after that, etc would never be better, so he took his own life.

I hope the guilt lives with those that put this kid through hell, for the rest of their days.

Wait. Melhmen feels no such guilt, so what am I thinking...

this is where i went to high school. anoka is a pit.

I have to say that I agree with these people on at least one point. "the classroom environment needs to be solely focused on academics" and it's much easier to focus on academics when you're not being bullied.

Also, since we all agree that "the classroom environment needs to be solely focused on academics" I'm sure we all agree that we should keep all that intelligent design bullshit out since that's clearly not academic.

@24 he didn't kill himself on account of his homosexuality, you fucktard, he killed himself because his life was made unlivable by the shitsticks at his school. christ.

Oh, Dan. I hate it when you post things like this. Because just when I think humanity has a bit of light in it, I am shown the disgusting underbelly of bigots, rapists and hate-mongers.

I promise when I'm a parent, I'll destroy the douche-nozzles in my district.

Poor sweet children. I am horrified that the school won't take more action. Please let us know how we can help, Dan.

The bigots have shut down their website http://minnesotaindependent.com/64313/pa… They have the utter gall to say this:

"This site is under construction until further notice.

We have never been inundated with so much hate and disdain for a differing viewpoint than that of the pro-gay movement. Our group has NEVER written anything hateful on our site or to any member of the GET [Gay Equity Team] group with whom we strongly disagree. Apparently, tolerance, kindness and decency are only to be extended to the pro-gay viewpoint – talk about your bullying!"

It's disgusting. People like this try to hide their bigotry behind bogus laws & committees and have the nerve to call people out who openly call them on their behaviour. These groups always say they never say anything hateful. No, they just hide behind fake statistics and religion.

I'm sorry you have to post this, Dan. To borrow your phrase, words fail when I hear about such cruelty that results in despair, misery and depression to the point that this human being felt he couldn't bear to live any longer. Please keep posting the bad news, though, so we don't forget or think for a minute it doesn't happen. Do what you can, people. Even the smallest gesture might prevent something like this happening.

I'm a 19 year-old kid from Northern MN and this kind of story isn't rare. I went to a small school (my grade had 40 kids in it) and EVERY queer kid who went there for the past 5 years (that I knew) has attempted to kill themselves at some point.

For those of you wondering what to do, please call your local school and ask them about their polices concerning GLBT students. Is sexual orientation covered in their harassment policy? Does the school have a GSA? Are GLBT and Ally staff easily identifiable? Students can only do so much inside the system and any outside pressure and support goes a really long way, especially in rural areas.

email addresses? telephone numbers?

The best thing anyone can do (bigger picture) is to direct any teenager to Dan's column. He should be required reading for high school kids, gay or straight.

This happened with me when in school in the early '70's... great to see that 40 years later, kids are still offing themselves like I attempted several times from bullying and parental non-acceptance. Progress.
Further words fail me as well; I'm ashamed to be a human being.

@31

Principal Mike Farley:
763-506-6201
mike.farley@anoka.k12.mn.us

Anoka-Hennepin School Board Chair Tom Heidemann:
763-323-0215
(couldn't find e-mail)

And don't forget the The Trevor Project, a great resource for the LGBTQ community and our allies. (http://www.thetrevorproject.org/)

The Lifeline is an excellent resource for youth who feel they have no hope. And there is a social networking site, TrevorSpace.org, for youth that want to meet fulfilling positive friends. I wish these articles included more resources and information.

We can all help by supporting the Trevor Project.

@35 And yet, most men in liberal societies who are naturally inclined to be gay pursue same-sex relationships regardless of the alleged horrors of their lifestyle. This is because people who are sexually and emotionally repressed are unhappy.

You can use this form to contact the Anoka-Hennepin school board: http://www.anoka.k12.mn.us/education/com…

But to really contact the culprits, here's the contact info for the Minnesota Family Council:
(612) 789-8811
mail@mfc.org

And the reason they opposed the Sexual Orientation Anti-Bullying Bill in our State legislature: http://www.mfc.org/Alert-Bullying032609.… Because it " would, under the pretext of bullying prevention, promote acceptance of homosexuality, homosexual marriage, and unhealthy sexual behaviors among impressionable school children."

You can use this form to contact the Anoka-Hennepin school board: http://www.anoka.k12.mn.us/education/com…

But to really contact the culprits, here's the contact info for the Minnesota Family Council:
(612) 789-8811
mail@mfc.org

And the reason they opposed the Sexual Orientation Anti-Bullying Bill in our State legislature: http://www.mfc.org/Alert-Bullying032609.…
Because it "would, under the pretext of bullying prevention, promote acceptance of homosexuality, homosexual marriage, and unhealthy sexual behaviors among impressionable school children."

@34: Let me rephrase what you said:
"It's too bad he became An Hero, but it's his fault for being gay."
That's the same sick mentality that Dan's calling the bible-thumpers out on here. Go rot in a ditch, Alleged.

@35 and 40

Aww how cute! Baby's first troll! Grab the camcorder!

Ah, the Heartland of America.

Ah, Real America. That's what makes Ms Palin sigh...

Bullying, ostracism, and other forms of social abuse can eventually lead to depression and suicide in ANYONE who is subjected to it. I say that to point out that an anti-bullying curriculum would not fall afoul of the schools "neutrality" (yeah, right) policy.

Personally, I want to see the records of the incident opened, and see names named of the students who did it. Same with the owners of the stinking PAL website. Think of it as ripping the white hoods off, to see the cowards hiding beneath..

40: Gee, evidence that when someone's living environment is made unbearable, people start offing themselves. Thanks for proving the point that bullying sucks.

Anyone else have the sneaking suspicion that some of the members of the "The Parents Action League" who oh so bravely refuse to give out their names are the parents of some of the kids who bullied those gay kids to death? Children are not born homophobes, they get it from somewhere, and if Johnny's mommy is a hysterical "Teh gayz are sick sick sick!" type, Johnny may feel entitled to fuck with the local gay kid.

@47 Much as I agree with the sentiment, the perpetrators are also just kids, encouraged by their parents. No need to name and shame them. It would put them on the defense, harden them into their beliefs. What's beautiful about kids is that they *can* be changed, taught not to hate people who are different just because they're different. It's too late for their parents, generally, but we can still teach kids tolerance. And the bigots know that. That's why they lose it so bad when it comes to introducing tolerance of homosexuality into school curricula.

Aww boo. Poor haters, they had to take down their website: http://www.parentsactionleague.org/

The woman sobbed as she told her son’s story to the Anoka-Hennepin School Board on Monday. “Hi, I’m Tammy Aaberg, the mother of Justin Aaberg, who was a gay student at Anoka High School who committed suicide July 9th of this year"...

To defend Family Values you must be willing to destroy other people's families.

34: Woohoo, congratulations on being an emotionally impenetrable Superman.

So much for having zero-tolerance policies for bullying. Instead of expelling bullies and providing support structures for harassed kids, the schools seem determined to let them get so miserable that they kill themselves or lose all their empathy until they take guns to school. Don't we ever learn anything?

While stuff like this should not be happening at public schools, the solution is simple: you can always take your child out of school and give them the loving, supportive, flexible, comprehensive education they deserve at home.

I know this can be a strain on the parents, but when we're talking about kids being bullied to death… isn't it maybe worth it?

These people claim they aren't bigots or homophobes. Yet the straight kids are totally free to express their sexuality with no questions about the 'unhealthy sexual behaviours' noted in the MFC's opposition to the anti-bullying bill.

I was bullied in school for most of my life because I was overweight. My mother eventually pulled me out my senior year and let me finish in the independent study program, because every day that she dropped me off she saw how beaten down I was.

Bullying is a hate crime, no matter what the reason is. I am so sorry to hear this! I wish I had money so I could take these kids in and give them a home and a shelter away from the cruelty.

50: I'm not saying harass them. I may be saying shame them. "They are just kids" Fine. But someone is DEAD as a result of their actions. Shame is appropriate.

I agree, you never get people to change by haranguing them, or punishing them or harassing them. That will only put them into the mindset of "i'm the victim." You get them to change by looking at their behavior under the cold hard light of truth. I think they should be stood up in front of a school assembly and made to explain why they thought it was appropriate to make another child's life such hell that he chose to end it rather than face them. I want them to recount in exquisite detail exactly what they said and did, how it made them feel. I want them to explain how they can consider themselves decent human beings after having done that.

As far as the parents go, don't harass them either. Harassment is wrong. But it is appropriate to let the community know just what sort of bigots they are.

Seriously where do these dickwads come from? Homosexuality increases the chances of AIDS, but being there is an even stronger correlation between being driven to suicide because of bullying and death.

Talk about a self-fulfilling prophecy. Dan's been over it again and again, but I still can't decide if these people are stupid or evil. I think mostly stupid, but really what's the difference sometimes? Bullying people of a minority group causes them to be mentally ill. And then you use the mental illness to justify the bullying (because they're 'weak'). Why can't people figure out cause and effect? It's like refusing education to a whole group of people (like non-whites and women back in the day) and then, because they're not educated, saying that they're stupid and education would be a waste. This -- this common (even 'natural') human abject idiocy and inability to distinguish cause and effect -- is the reason the courts have to get involved. At least when people set their minds to it, they can sometimes be smart.

Arrgh! How do we fix it?

My childhood and early teen years were pure hell because of bullying, and I still am filled with rage and liable to go off at any given moment.

No words. All that potential... gone.

----------
(From The Minneapolis Star-Tribune)

The Anoka-Hennepin School District has agreed to pay a $25,000 settlement to the family of a high school junior after two teachers harassed the boy and subjected him to classroom jokes, comments and innuendos concerning his perceived sexual orientation

The boy's "fence swings both ways," teacher Diane Cleveland commented during a class in the 2007-2008 school year, according to an investigation by the Minnesota Department of Human Rights.

When the boy wrote a report on Ben Franklin, Cleveland allegedly said before the entire class that the boy had a "thing for older men." Another teacher, Walter Filson, said in front of other students that the boy "enjoys wearing women's clothes." When the boy decided to report on Abraham Lincoln, Filson allegedly said, "Since you like your men older ..." the Human Rights report said.

The school district, which has denied it violated the Minnesota Human Rights Act, agreed last month to pay the boy's family $25,000.

The student, Alex Merritt, and his mother, Jodi, filed a complaint with the Minnesota Department of Human Rights in May 2008 on his behalf. He was a student at the district's Secondary Technical Education Program (STEP).

His "fence swings both ways," teacher Diane Cleveland said during a class, according to the investigation by the Human Rights department. Another teacher, Walter Filson, said that Merritt "enjoys wearing women's clothes."

Merritt said he had Cleveland's class before lunch, and Filson's class afterwards. If Cleveland made fun of him for something, he said, she told Filson about it at lunch. Merritt would be teased for the same thing in a new class after lunch.

"I told Ms. Cleveland that I wanted to do a report on Ben Franklin, and she said, 'Why? Do you have a thing for older men?' " he said. "Then I sat in Mr. Filson's class, and he called me 'Mr. Ben Franklin,' and said, 'What do you have for these older men that Ms. Cleveland told me about?' "

"I'd come home from school and clam up," he said. "I got death threats from random kids, saying things like 'Shut up, you queer, and, I'm going to kill you, you queer.'"

According to the investigation, Cleveland also covered the screen during a bathing suit scene in a movie the class was watching, and said "It's OK if [Alex] watches this because he isn't into that sort of thing anyway ... maybe if it was a guy."

The Anoka-Hennepin district disciplined Cleveland, 39, a social studies teacher, after Merritt complained. She was briefly reassigned, and placed on two-day unpaid suspension. Her reassignment included working on a "social studies curriculum development and reflecting on equality and diversity in the classroom," according to the investigation. But she completed only one day of the assignment and called in sick for the rest of the week.

The strange part about his experiences, Alex pointed out, is that he is straight.

He said he is speaking publicly now because "I'm not the first kid this has happened to. I feel bad for the kid who was homosexual in that class, seeing that I was belittled. ... If kids feel like this is what they're going through, at work, at school, at the house, you've got to tell somebody."
------------------
Wow...

So in Anoka Minnesota it's the teachers and students who tag team making a Gay student's life miserable.

That's the news from Anoka, Minnesota - the real Lake Wobegon, were the Women Social Studies Teachers are bitter insensitive cows, the Men Law Enforcement Teachers are emotionally retarded closet cases, and all the Children just want to graduate and get the hell out.
.

I got in fist fights in high school because I'm a homo.
Tell any homo student this one thing:

FIGHT BACK. Get in trouble for FIGHTING BACK, if you have to. But don't get beat without defending yourself. And finally, HURT THEM! Not yourself.