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It would be better if Billy were saying this:

"Art is not merely an imitation of the reality of nature, but in truth a metaphysical supplement to the reality of nature, placed alongside thereof for its conquest."
-Friedrich Nietzsche

Urgutha Forka on July 30, 2009 at 10:28 AM

Well, that was an easy one.

J.R. on July 30, 2009 at 10:33 AM

Plus the original author was a dick who tried to call out Bill Watterson as arrogant and presumptuous for trying to maintain artistic integrity with respect to the format of Calvin and Hobbes.

vooodooo84 on July 30, 2009 at 10:36 AM

Oh god, I love you for this.

We're getting a traditional marriage, Schmader.

And by that I mean you can't say no and your family owes me property.

Baconcat on July 30, 2009 at 10:37 AM

Oh, hate.

tabletop_joe on July 30, 2009 at 10:38 AM

family circus is without a doubt the lamest comic ever.

douglas on July 30, 2009 at 10:43 AM

I seem to remember him doing this most holidays, when I was a kid. Little Billy must be at least 25 now. The map is surprisingly professional for an 8 year old or whatever he's supposed to be.

Max Power on July 30, 2009 at 10:50 AM

7: He is also an 8-year-old familiar with the phrase "moot point."

David Schmader on July 30, 2009 at 10:52 AM

Isle of View, Mr. S.

gloomy gus on July 30, 2009 at 10:57 AM

"moot point" is pretty much what most blogging is. Especially mine.

CommonKnowledge on July 30, 2009 at 10:57 AM

Since when is that an isthmus?

RDM on July 30, 2009 at 11:01 AM

11: I KNOW! I don't think he knows what a moor is, either...

David Schmader on July 30, 2009 at 11:19 AM

I think we should have some sort of "worst comic" poll. There are really so many to choose from: Family Circus, Fred Basset, the Lockhorns, Marmaduke...

Julie in Eugene on July 30, 2009 at 11:29 AM

13: Good idea. Everyone, pitch your contenders...

David Schmader on July 30, 2009 at 11:31 AM

Billy looks like a stoner.

RobotRevolution on July 30, 2009 at 11:37 AM

Oh, sure. If Saul Steinberg turned in that map, you'd be wet-ting down your leg.

--MC on July 30, 2009 at 11:38 AM

I remember years ago in the Stranger, y'all ran a Family Circus of the daughter showing off her shoes, with the caption changed to say, "How do you like my fuck-me shoes?" I still laugh every time I think of it.

Katie B on July 30, 2009 at 11:41 AM

@14: Prickly City, Shoe, Frazz

Prickly City for trying so hard to be the neo-con answer to Doonesbury, Shoe for trying so hard to be... well, trying so hard to exist, and Frazz for being really really creepy.

Baconcat on July 30, 2009 at 11:42 AM

@13,14.. the problem is there are just so many! Family Circus for sure, but a damn big chunk of the rest of the page, too. We were so lucky to have Bill Watterson while we did.....

jw36 on July 30, 2009 at 12:12 PM

And yet Glen Keane, Disney animator and son of Bill Keane, is really cool, paradoxically

Peter F on July 30, 2009 at 12:17 PM

Family Circus can die in a fire.

The Amazing Jim on July 30, 2009 at 12:22 PM

14: Family Circus and Cathy.

kim in portland on July 30, 2009 at 12:40 PM

@17
I wish they'd run that again or better yet make it into a t-shirt. I'd buy one!

Senor Guy on July 30, 2009 at 12:41 PM

@13: Hey! Don't be dissin' Marmaduke!

J.R. on July 30, 2009 at 12:51 PM

@22 ACK!

xian on July 30, 2009 at 1:06 PM

This poll is funnier than any Family Circus cartoon. If you took all the laughter generated by every F.C. strip, anywhere in the world, ever, it would sound just like a polite cough.

YTAH on July 30, 2009 at 1:11 PM

It's weird to see any remotely contemporary references in The Family Circus. I always figured its artist for a life long shut-in. Also, "Punk Rock"? Huh.

Dougsf on July 30, 2009 at 1:17 PM

I miss the Dysfunctional Family Circus (Archive found here -- http://dfc.furr.org). May long-running waves of great karma stay with the Stranger staff who can put up with eight-year-olds and their cutesie-pie doofus moments.

Keister Button on July 30, 2009 at 1:23 PM

Marvin
Cathy
Marmaduke
The Lockhorns
Family Circus
Ziggy
Garfield
Luann

I hope they all get cancer-aids

The Amazing Jim on July 30, 2009 at 1:25 PM

Oh god, yes! Marvin. That guy is the worst. I like how he draws different expressions by making the eye pupils point a different direction than from the previous panel. So awful. One I read all the time just for the pain is Crock. It is like sticking your tongue in an exposed oral nerve. I am a masochist.

How is Hank Ketcham dead while Bill Keene plods on? The reaper is coming Bill, prepare to meet Not-Me in hell.

McGee on July 30, 2009 at 1:44 PM

It is a crime against art that Bill Watterson and Gary Larson are retired, yet this doofus still gets prime space in the Sunday comics.

Greg on July 30, 2009 at 2:50 PM

Wizard of Id is my pet hate. I also bear a strong loathing for any and all comics whose main theme is Wife-As-Mommy - you know what I mean, the wifey who hands hubby a "job jar" every weekend, nags him into getting up, buys his clothing, and generally is shown treating her husband as if he were a leotarded six-year-old. I want to kill the mother figure on Zits because she nags her irritating 15-year-old ceaselessly and pointlessly instead of just hauling off and belting him one.

Geni on July 30, 2009 at 2:50 PM

Anything in a newspaper.

Cracker Jack on July 30, 2009 at 8:08 PM

Part of me hates Bill Watterson for being such a pretentious asshole. With that said, the cartoon I hate the most is Zack Hill for striving to be a rip off of Calvin and Hobbes and failing in every aspect.

ak47 on July 31, 2009 at 11:32 AM

Why'd we have to lose Calvin and Hobbes and The Boondocks but get stuck with this?

Calvin / Billy cagefight. Or assrape.

Terry Nguyen on July 31, 2009 at 6:22 PM

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