Friday, June 15, 2012

News I Threw Up in My Mouth and It Was Ted Nugent

Posted by Trent Moorman on Fri, Jun 15, 2012 at 1:00 PM

My Mr. T hand towel, before Ted Nugent shot it with a crossbow.

T. Moorman
My Mr. T hand towel, before Ted Nugent shot it with a crossbow.

A Republican/NRA/Romney thought bubble burst in my head and made me throw up in my mouth. Instead of swallowing it, I spit it into the toilet. But what came out of my mouth, wasn’t just normal mouth throw up, it was Ted Nugent. There, standing in the toilet, was the actual man, Ted Nugent—the Republican, gun loving, bow hunting, guitar playing Ted Nugent. He didn’t look surprised.

I asked him, “Hey Ted, do you still play your song “Wang Dang Sweet Poontang?”

He said, “Yes I do.”

I followed, “How could you write that song, and not be high on cocaine?”

Before he could answer, he pulled out a crossbow, shot my Mr. T hand towel in the mohawk, and flushed himself down the toilet.

With that, he was gone.