The Lord God is in serious need of an anger management class. And probably a 12 step program.

He sounds like a god that would have unmanned drones too.

So he's the one causing climate change?

I guess if we were to take it seriously, I'd say that God is essentially represented as a force of nature, and that Nature is viewed as just. We might not agree with the culture's definitions of morality in that time and place, but this basically says what comes around goes around. Or goes around comes around. You know, karma.

Is this the plot for Taken 3?

This is the way people who are ignorant of the natural world explain it. Superstitious and mythological nonsense.

I'm struck by the notion that an omnipotent, omniscient being would have enemies at all. Why would the being that created the universe so construct it as to include the possibility of enemies? And what harm could they ever do to such a being? And what rational enemy would raise up against an omnipotent, omniscient, apparently wrathful deity? Even leaving aside the poetry (Why would an omnipotent, omniscient being need to "pursue" enemies? Couldn't such a being simply will them out of existence? Or preclude their existence entirely? But here we can accept it as poetical.), there are still such overwhelming conundrums that I don't see how someone approaching the passage with a critical eye can preserve their faith, except by either being a simpleton or a leap into the dark.

@5 -- I'd say the old testament god has nothing to do with morality and everything to do with identity.

These stories were told to fearful people tempted by the luxuries of exotic people on all sides. They huddled together by reminding each other as often as possible that their god was stronger than all the other gods and he gets really pissed off when they don't literally worship him and the political / educational / cultural system he put in place.

Amazingly, this angry god kept them together then and it keeps them together now. Think of it: the jews put together a slave union in ancient Egypt for christ's sake. And when the jews didn't like the way they were being treated, they called the first recorded walk-out.

These are a people chosen by a bad-assed jealous god as his favorites. The rest of y'all are just more bad guys in a never-ending series of bad things that have happened to jews

@9

I can accept that. I think the definition of morality I was assuming was that it was tied up with identity. So it's not morality in the sense of do good for humanity, but rather in the sense of do good for the stability/expansion/survival of this community, as defined by, well, Moses, I guess.

@8

God does come across as pretty omniscient and omnipotent there. I took a Bible as Literature class back in college and slammed God in a paper. One sentence began, "And if God is all powerful, then why. . ." and my instructor wrote, "But who says God is all powerful?" In other words, does the Bible ever actually claim omniscience and omnipotence in the Deity?

Looking back, I'm just glad that somehow, I managed to call the Israelites Israelites instead of Israelis

Umm, noted for the record, Constant got one wrong for a change (previous Slog post): Evidently, God is the King of the Assholes.

Rand Paul is just a punk piece of shit compared to God.

Total nonsense.

@2: Possible new definition of "smite"...

@12

Neither God nor Jeb Bush asked to be included in the poll.

He sounds like a god that would have unmanned drones too.

We've been calling those "Cardinals."

Green forests of Lebanon my ass. They're all gone and replaced with a sea of concrete. That Bible chapter needs a wiki-update.

Ah, yes, Nahum. I remember Nahum. It's hands-down one of the nastiest books of the Bible, equally short and nasty, making for quick, bloody reading. What stands out to me the most is the sexually violent imagery towards the end. Strangely enough, I don't remember this book being read much during Sunday school and Sunday services.

#9 - there's no real evidence that the Jews were ever actually enslaved in Egypt. They didn't build the pyramids, either.

GOD SMASH!!!

Sounds like my ex-wife! Amirite?!?

Is this thing on?

God's a mean Ent?

He is our Father but watch out because Dad's a mean drunk.

@22 - There's no evidence Saint Patrick chased the snakes out of Ireland, but imma gonna have a beer or two today in his honor.

Bet your ass I'm wearing red.