Religion Today in Mormon
posted by November 11 at 14:00 PMon
Pleasant Grove City*, in Utah, is going to court because a crazy-ass religion wants to put up a tribute to their religion in a P.G.City park. Could the crazy-ass religion be Mormonism? Why, no: it’s the Summum faith:
In 2003, the president of the Summum church wrote to the mayor here with a proposal: the church wanted to erect a monument inscribed with the Seven Aphorisms in the city park, “similar in size and nature” to the one devoted to the Ten Commandments.
Summums believe Moses delivered the Seven Aphorisms around the same time he came out with the Ten Commandments. Here are the Seven Aphorisms:
* The Principle of Psychokinesis: Summum is mind, thought; the universe is a mental creation. * The Principle of Correspondence: As above, so below; as below, so above. * The Principle of Vibration: Nothing rests; everything moves; everything vibrates. * The Principle of Opposition: Everything is dual; everything has an opposing point; everything has its pair of opposites; like and unlike are the same; opposites are identical in nature, but different in degree; extremes bond; all truths are but partial truths; all paradoxes may be reconciled. * The Principle of Rhythm: Everything flows out and in; everything has its season; all things rise and fall; the pendulum swing expresses itself in everything; the measure of the swing to the right is the measure of the swing to the left; rhythm compensates. * The Principle of Cause and Effect: Every cause has its effect; every effect has its cause; everything happens according to Law; Chance is just a name for Law not recognized; there are many fields of causation, but nothing escapes the Law of Destiny. * The Principle of Gender: Everything has its masculine and feminine principles; Gender manifests on all levels
That’s crazy talk, of course. How do I know? God told me so, via inscriptions on some golden plates that only I can translate. The town is arguing against the monument to Summumism thusly:
A town accepting a Sept. 11 memorial would also have to display a donated tribute to Al Qaeda, the briefs said. “Accepting a Statue of Liberty,” the city’s brief said, should not “compel a government to accept a Statue of Tyranny.”
Classy to connect the weird vibrational religion to terrorism. Speaking of Mormon classiness: Mormons keep posthumously baptizing victims of the Holocaust, even though they were supposed to have stopped doing that shit 13 years ago.
* I know, technically it’s a town in Iowa and not the Mormon Church directly, but come on. We know the Mormons love to stick their nose in matters of state.