Slog News & Arts

Line Out

Music & Nightlife

« Seattle, You Looked Fantastic ... | Pre-Post-Election Hypothetical »

Sunday, November 2, 2008

“There are no real or fake parts of this country.”

posted by on November 2 at 17:43 PM

Obama in Ohio today…

RSS icon Comments


Here's what's fake about Obama:

1. He never won any big state primaries.

2. He's over leveraged. His cronies ballot stuffed a lot of caucuses and then claimed the "majority" had spoken.

3. Every time one of his friends shows up, he ends up disavowing them and avoiding them! Does he have any friends who aren't terrorists or Ameriphobes?

4. Big City newspapers endorse him. Yet, we find that Big City newspapers are all about to go tits up. They are serving an ever shrinking market of disgruntled urban core readers who spend their days griping (like the great Obermann satire on SNL) about "republicans".

5. So, you have a reverse pyramid candidate who never mounted grass roots support in his own party, who is being touted by big media that no longer has an audience and is about to fold.

That's what the fake America is.

That is the fake America of Barry O'Blather.

Posted by John Bailo | November 2, 2008 5:50 PM

Ah, my hometown. Makes me proud.

On a side note, I wonder if that "powers and principalities" line is a dog whistle for the evangelicals? It sure sounds like it.

Posted by flamingbanjo | November 2, 2008 5:53 PM

I can't wait till Tuesday, just to watch John Bailo's head explode. Hahahahaha!

It is going to be so nice having a president that can speak in complete sentences.

Posted by Reverse Polarity | November 2, 2008 5:56 PM


you really should go hook up with your pal whatsername todd, (the one with the reverse "b" healing on her cheek) in your room at the back of your mom's house where you live and drink your sorrows away together. screw, watch some fox news, play some video games. forget about this disappointing election that the awful barack man will win.

Posted by ellarosa | November 2, 2008 6:19 PM

My friends, this great nation of ours has become a cesspool of iniquity under the rule of godless liberals.

During the past eight years, the tax-and-spend Hollywood liberals in Washington D.C. have transformed America from a shing city on a hill into a 3,000 mile wide porno theater.

For too long, we've suffered an endless shower of spooge upon the floor of our great nation. The time has come for real change. The time has come to mop up the cum.

Mop up the cum, America!

Vote McCain/Palin on Nov. 4!

I would, if I were you.

Posted by John Bailo | November 2, 2008 6:21 PM

@ 5


Some people are just plain Nuts.

Posted by -B- | November 2, 2008 6:30 PM

Here's what's fake about John Bailo:

1. He's never won any big stake arguments

2. He's over leveraged. He's talked a lot of shit about Barack Obama and then claimed that something valuable was spoken.

3. Every time one of his friends shows up, they end up disavowing and avoiding him. Does he have any friends that aren't imaginary?

4. One or two Slogger's endorse him. But they are about to be handed their asses. They are serving an ever shrinking market of impotent and marginalized right-wing fucknuts that spend their days gripping about our next President.

5. So, you have a perverse pyramid inchoate yokel who's never mounted any support in his chosen forum, who is touted by his own big mouth, and has never had an audience.

That's what the fake American is.

That's the fake America of Bailo O'Blather.

Posted by backslider | November 2, 2008 6:32 PM

I've missed you! Don't ever leave me again!

Posted by John Bailo's lonely and underused cock | November 2, 2008 6:32 PM

oh, bailo i forgot to say it in my advice to you @4, but it's so obvious: turn the channel when fox news talks about the election, of course.

Posted by ellarosa | November 2, 2008 6:34 PM

I think about how bone weary tired Obama must be by now, yet he continues to knock it out of the park. He's delivering this kind of power on no sleep and tons of anxiety?

God damn. STILL gives me goosebumps. I will be happy to listen to that guy, for at least the next four years. Hopefully longer.

Posted by kerri harrop | November 2, 2008 6:35 PM

I love Obama, but I beg to differ. I serve a Blue America, period.
@1 WI, GA, VA, IL, NC, MN, MD - all primaries with significant delegates he won.
There's a good chance that Obama will win a healthy number of red states that he did very well in during the primaries. The democrats simply didn't think broadly enough.
But the best thing about this election, CO is going blue, which means I can ski there without feeling dirty.

Posted by kinaidos | November 2, 2008 6:41 PM

I could have gone to this. Until I slept in until noon. I am an idiot.

Posted by The CHZA | November 2, 2008 7:24 PM

Bailo, what America are you living in? For the life of me I can't find any decent porn anywhere? Come on, Fess up where are you keeping the good porn?

Posted by Sargon Bighorn | November 2, 2008 7:28 PM

I can vouch for the grass-roots organization in Obama's campaign.

It's awesome! My last duty is election day. Sitting next to the desk where voters check in, in my own precinct. Marking off known Obama supporters from my list.

If there's anyone left on my list at 4 pm - another group of volunteers will CALL them and offer them rides to the polls.

I've sure never seen anything like this before!

(And if we lose, I'm gonna die...)

Posted by Ayden/VA | November 2, 2008 7:35 PM

I was there! It was HUGE---60,000 people is the estimate & the mayor said it was the biggest political rally ever. Big fun.

@2 He was referring back to the invocation (given by a minister who also compared him to Martin & Moses.)

People waited 7 hrs. to early vote yesterday here in Cowtown. Even my rednecked BIL is voting for Obama. So unless there's some SERIOUS voter suppression, OH will be blue this year.

Posted by amazonmidwife | November 2, 2008 7:37 PM

@5 - The tax and spend "liberals" in DC? Here I thought Washington was prospering under the single-party domination of the Republicans. I must be reading the wrong newspapers. I could have sworn there were Republican majorities in both houses of Congress supporting the White House and blocking anything like progressive social action. The porn I saw was pretty much confined to Republicans getting caught in morals scandals of various types, sexual and financial. Do I live in an alternate universe? Or are you just a very delusional would-be agent provocateur? If you decide not to stay in that darkened back bedroom at your mom's house, perhaps you should consider taking a position as advance man for Joe-the-Plumber when he goes out on his book tour.

Posted by Calpete | November 2, 2008 7:46 PM

He is so friggin' awesome. I can't wait to finally have a president with a pulse. It's been a long time coming. Hallelujah!

Posted by abigail | November 2, 2008 7:49 PM

@5: I always thought the "shing city" was Denver. (See City of Illusions, 1967, Ursula K. Leguin.)

Posted by asteria | November 2, 2008 7:49 PM

Yes, Cleveland had the Boss, and Cincinnati got...Ted Strickland and terrible acoustics in a football stadium. Still, we had a nice-size crowd (>20,000) at 10 pm. Just go back from the rally, and I agree with Kerri @10. Don't know how he can keep this up.

Posted by emma's bee | November 2, 2008 8:03 PM


OH will be blue this year.

You have just made me so happy. Don't let 'em pull a Blackwell on you this time!

Posted by flamingbanjo | November 2, 2008 8:11 PM

In connection with America's real and fake parts, I'd be interested to know how the state-by-state prevalence of cosmetic surgery correlates with voting trends in those regions. One thinks of Hollywood as being pneumatic central, which would tilt the correlation one way, but suburban Houston and Atlanta must be close runners-up, which tilts the correlation the other. How about it, Sloggers? Anyone got the data?

Posted by Eric in Boulder | November 2, 2008 8:16 PM

I will be here to comfort John Bailo once his head explodes.

Posted by Commiseration P. Cornball | November 2, 2008 8:19 PM

@20: We will be watching very carefully this year to prevent a "red" Ken-style state theft. Electing Jennifer Brunner 2 years ago gave us a great head start.

Posted by emma's bee | November 2, 2008 8:25 PM

every part is real.

Posted by maxsolomon@home | November 2, 2008 8:28 PM

Odrama and his fake ass promise and grand gestures. He's the freaking biggest fake.

Posted by Odrama | November 2, 2008 8:50 PM

@25 - Sarah, is that you? I can recognize that folksy shlock anywhere. Freaking?? Well golly gee.

Posted by chris | November 2, 2008 9:03 PM

@25 - Sarah, is that you? I can recognize that folksy shlock anywhere. Freaking?? Well golly gee.

Posted by chris | November 2, 2008 9:04 PM

Bailo blathers: "Big City newspapers endorse him."

The Columbus Dispatch endorsed McCain. (The Wolfe family, the owners of the Dispatch, has always been very conservative.) If you visit you'll have to do a lot of clicking around to find out that a block away from the Dispatch headquarters a 60,000-person Obama rally took place earlier today.

Posted by stinkbug | November 2, 2008 9:05 PM

I really like to close my eyes when he's talking. I just want to soak it in

Posted by 4f...sake | November 2, 2008 9:12 PM

The Columbus Dispatch would endorse fucking Pol Pot if you put an R next to his name.

Posted by The CHZA | November 2, 2008 9:26 PM

My gramps worked for the dispatch.

Posted by Bellevue Ave | November 2, 2008 10:38 PM

@31: So did I! My very first job.

The Dispatch is a notorious fish-wrapper.

Posted by flamingbanjo | November 2, 2008 11:24 PM

we all have responsibilitoponisibilies?

wrong, fucker. irresponsibility put us into this mess, and you, barak, have no plan to hold anybody responsible.

Posted by nope | November 3, 2008 12:45 AM

John Bailo has got to be kidding or is trying to be ironic or something....No actual serious human being could be so stupid....

Posted by seattlescott | November 3, 2008 1:11 AM

You know, the reason why I have been so enamored with Obama isn't because of his soaring rhetoric, on the contrary its because of the things he says when he's not making a speech. He speaks to the American people about complex policy issues as if we were adults, which is an amazingly wonderful new tactic for an American politician.

Posted by mnm | November 3, 2008 2:19 AM

Add Your Comments

Please click Post only once.