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Friday, November 7, 2008

Am I Toast?

posted by on November 7 at 10:53 AM

Does all of Capitol Hill smell like toast right now, or do I have whatever ailment that is where you smell phantom toast and then you die?


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Quick Lindy is having a stroke!

Posted by Little Red Ryan Hood | November 7, 2008 10:55 AM

Before you die you smell The Toast

Posted by Marcel Duchump | November 7, 2008 11:00 AM

While we're on the topic, I have one shirt that, no matter how freshly laundered, always smells like stale peanut butter. All my shirts are made of the same fabrics. What's up with that?

Posted by whatevernevermind | November 7, 2008 11:01 AM

Nose cancer.

Posted by djsauvage | November 7, 2008 11:03 AM

OMG you guys ME TOO!!1! but srsly, i once used a bath towel as a temporary drying rack and it got near a peanut butter cooking experiment and it now permanently smells like peanut butter.

Posted by Vikki Limehouse | November 7, 2008 11:04 AM

yeah-isnt that "ailment" called "having a stroke"?

Posted by princess | November 7, 2008 11:06 AM

I can't smell it, but...

I used to live in a city with a big brewery on the edge of town. When the wind was right (oh, nearly every evening), the smell of slightly sour toast would waft through. It's from the barley, I think.

So, Elysian / Pike Brewery?

Posted by edinburger | November 7, 2008 11:07 AM

It's David Schmader's new cologne, "Melba".

Posted by Fnarf | November 7, 2008 11:08 AM

You've got a nasty case of the arteriovenous malformation (AVM)!

Posted by Nate Fisher | November 7, 2008 11:08 AM

Probably a squirrel got into the wiring again.

Posted by Greg | November 7, 2008 11:10 AM

In northern Indiana, the smell of toast meant you were downwind of a corn-based ethanol plant. Perhaps Gasworks has been repurposed?

Posted by Chris | November 7, 2008 11:11 AM

When you think toast, think Heywood Banks:

Posted by Uncle Vinny | November 7, 2008 11:11 AM

oh're the best

Posted by Bellevue Ave | November 7, 2008 11:13 AM

Sometimes the ice machine at my work smells like toast. No big deal.

Posted by Grist | November 7, 2008 11:15 AM

When you smell toast you have seven days to live.

Posted by elswinger | November 7, 2008 11:15 AM

I work down the street from The Stranger (no, not at The Crypt) and I always thought that smell was from KFC. Now that it's gone, I have no idea. Maybe it's the crematorium at Bonney Watson?

Posted by 11th and Pine | November 7, 2008 11:16 AM

Isn't there an old bread factory towards the back end of Capitol Hill? And by that, I mean a factory that used to make bread - not a factory that makes old bread.

Other than that, I'd go with the Elysian beer ingredient theory. Let's hope it's not a stroke, then where would we get our Lindywest-isms?

Posted by Reverend Z | November 7, 2008 11:16 AM

The only way to cancel it out is to run into Value Village and take a deep breath of the creosote scent.

Posted by --MC | November 7, 2008 11:19 AM

You people really DON'T have anything to talk about now the election is over, do you?

Posted by M | November 7, 2008 11:19 AM

Who you gonna call? Toastbusters!

Posted by breklor | November 7, 2008 11:23 AM

I always get a burnt-toast smell from coffee roasters. So, pretty much anywhere on the hill you're fucked.

Posted by Garth | November 7, 2008 11:25 AM

i'm pretty sure the toast smell is coming from the charred remains of the bellevue/pine building. i work one block down, and the wetter it gets, the stronger the smell.

ps - that's a really big fucking tarp covering that thing.

Posted by amanda | November 7, 2008 11:26 AM

You are not crazy... I work from home and smell that burnt toast smell all the time during the day. Drove me crazy for a while during the summer when I had the windows open a lot because I was afraid I had bad wiring in my office or something, but then I smelled it when I was outside and realized it was not an electrical fire waiting to happen.

My guess is that it was piecora or something... but the proposed bread factory idea makes a lot of sense too.

Posted by carrma | November 7, 2008 11:27 AM

Does it smell like Burnt Toast(tm)?

Posted by DLF | November 7, 2008 11:32 AM

I've worked several different jobs around here during the last few years, and I've smelled the mysterious toast smell many times. We're not alone, as others have corroborated. Several theories include the aforementioned Elysian, and Cafe Vita, which runs a large coffee roasting operation less than a block from here.

Posted by Grant Brissey | November 7, 2008 11:33 AM

Vivace roasts their coffee on this block too. people in the Sales dept. are always toasting things too. perhaps a climb up the stairs would answer this question.

Posted by other staffer | November 7, 2008 11:37 AM

I thought the sign of a stroke was the smell of burning hair?

Posted by Todd | November 7, 2008 11:55 AM

Apparently the sign of a seizure is burnt toast.

Posted by DLF | November 7, 2008 12:01 PM

The toast smell comes from the confluence of the Caffé Vita and Vivace roasters being within the block. The smell will get stronger and stronger as it goes, morphing from toast to burnt toast to bleh, what's that smell?
Be glad you don't sit near the window. When I was downstairs I got the lovely burnt toast and greasy KFC smorgasboard all the time. :\

Posted by Nay | November 7, 2008 12:11 PM

Big Time Brewery in the U District smells like cat piss. Maybe your blood sugar level is dropping. I recommend you have some toast.

Posted by Jasper's Bitch | November 7, 2008 12:14 PM

Step into the Toast, Lindy!

Mommy's in the Toast, Lindy!

Posted by NapoleonXIV | November 7, 2008 12:14 PM

I work a couple blocks from you. I think it's coffee roasters. Or somebody is running an illegal basement toast lab.

Posted by flamingbanjo | November 7, 2008 12:15 PM

Count yourself lucky. Whenever my coworkers prepare their lunch in the microwave that is thirty feet from my face, which is now, the entire office smells like the most rancid bongwater you can possibly imagine.

Posted by Fnarf | November 7, 2008 12:34 PM

Fnarf, I see what you did there.

Posted by NaFun | November 7, 2008 1:15 PM

Quick, Lindy! Cling tenaciously to my buttocks!

Posted by Powdered Toast Man | November 7, 2008 1:57 PM

I smell... burnt toast!

Watching these on TV was always funny.

Posted by demo kid | November 7, 2008 2:20 PM

I've lived on the the hill for over twenty years. Way before there were coffee roasters up here. Take a deep breath. Hold it. That there is roasted people from bonny-watsons.

Posted by Dr. Gravystain | November 7, 2008 5:23 PM

it's bonney watson. That part of town always smells like dead people.

Posted by disintegrator | November 7, 2008 6:41 PM

it is true. I learned from a friend that the toast smell is really the bonney watson crematorium. Nast.

Posted by Lillian Henehan | November 8, 2008 12:24 AM

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