Just Like the End of Daddy’s Term: The gross domestic product shrank this summer, the Commerce Department reports, indicating the recession has already begun. It’s the first drop in consumer spending since George H.W. Bush screwed things up in 1991.

And the Winner Is: Exxon reports a record 58-percent jump in profits over the summer—while the rest of the country was tanking—thanks to inflated prices for oil and gasoline.

Orchestrated Uprising: Syria’s government stages massive protest of civilians and a family killed by the US. The US, of course, says they were militants.

Aerial Attack: Obama makes 30-minute television pitch to reassure voters that black men have equally stuffy offices as white men. Liberal analysis. Conservative analysis.

Maybe It Has Something to Do With Sending Those Guys to Senseless Deaths in Iraq? US army to spend $50 million studying why the suicide rate is rising among recruits.

Poll Position: Obama’s poll numbers gain in the swing states of Pennsylvania, Nevada and North Carolina. He doubles lead in Colorado.

Deposition: Dino Rossi’s attorneys whine about being intimidated while blocking meaningful testimony about Rossi’s allegedly illegal campaign tactics.

Five Dollar Bus Fares, Here We Come: King County Metro considers cuts and raising fares—again—to make up for $83-million budget shortfall.

Same Story, Different Agency: Seattle school board agrees to close schools around the city due to $24-million budget shortfall and declining enrollment.

Oversharing: Obama hits back on charge that he’s a socialist: “By the end of the week, he’ll be accusing me of being a secret communist because I shared my toys in kindergarten.”

Back Door Intruders: Three gay-rights activists with the group Soulforce arrested in Texas for visiting the Southwestern Assemblies of God University.

Baiting: Phony gay organization dispatches robo calls to South Carolina to instigate gay baiting and pro-life backlash against a Democratic candidate.

Tone Deaf: Rather than fixing our backward noise ordinance, reversing his anti-nightlife agenda, or blocking Tom Carr’s bullshit crusade of liquor raids that don‘t hold up in court, Greg Nickels vows to support Seattle’s music scene by holding a vacuous press conference about what a swell music scene we have. “Austin does such a great job of talking about their city as a live music capital, but they really don’t have that much on us, except that they talk about it a lot,” said Nickels. “So I think there’s a lot we can learn from other cities.”

Retracting: ABC News withdraws Palin statement that she was looking beyond this election and toward a bid in 2012. “ABC issued a revised release after the McCain campaign clarified Palin’s comment.”

Releasing: Kevin Smith’s “Zack and Miri Make a Porno” blows into theaters Friday.

Hump! The winners, those titillating sinners.

Now, Even Lazier: Netflix will begin streaming movies to some TiVo users by the end of the year.

Too Little too Late? Opponents of Tim Eyman’s I-985, which opens HOV lanes and shuffles transportation spending, release radio ad and leaflets.

Sweet Hoax: Times and PI are the innocent victims of a “publicity stunt” after receiving envelopes of anthrax that were, in fact, packets of sugar.

Tube of Terror: Wonder Woman! Wonder Woman!