Slog - Comments on Scruple� of the Day!

Comment by Bellevue Ave

Bellevue Ave — Thu, 02 Oct 2008 10:58:18 -0800

Yes. Only because I don't want those retards eating my dog, Checkers.

Comment by Ziggity

Ziggity — Thu, 02 Oct 2008 10:59:01 -0800

Well, first off, dwarves aren't *technically* retards. Though the jury's still out on Dopey.

Comment by Julie in Chicago

Julie in Chicago — Thu, 02 Oct 2008 10:59:47 -0800

Who cares about retarded people living next door? This question might have been more interesting if it was a halfway house for ex-cons, or a public housing site or something.

Comment by Little Red Ryan Hood

Little Red Ryan Hood — Thu, 02 Oct 2008 11:01:01 -0800

they say seven of them but what sort of retards are we talking about? are they all DS? cerebral palsy? how retarded are they?

Comment by sw

sw — Thu, 02 Oct 2008 11:01:41 -0800

Haha. The '80s were such a strange time.

Remember homeowners?

Comment by Mike in MO

Mike in MO — Thu, 02 Oct 2008 11:04:05 -0800

@ 4: for argument's sake, let's say they are REALLY fucking retarded. Like Sarah Palin level retarded.

And my answer is: I would not oppose such a neighbor. I love retards!

Comment by The CHZA

The CHZA — Thu, 02 Oct 2008 11:08:24 -0800

I don't understand how this game worked at all.

Comment by johna

johna — Thu, 02 Oct 2008 11:08:32 -0800

no! more scruples!! this is my favorite slog feature.

Comment by Mikki

Mikki — Thu, 02 Oct 2008 11:08:49 -0800

HAHAHA! Last night my friend told me about the retarded guy next door at her mother's house and how he just stares at them through the window all the time. He took his shade down and cut down the shrubs and he sits there in his bathrobe in the dark and stares at them. So the other day, my friends father put a window frame up on their fence in front of the neighbor's window, mounted a window shade, waved at the guy and pulled the shade down. Are the 7 Scruples retarded people also pervy? Because that makes a big difference.

Comment by Julie in Chicago

Julie in Chicago — Thu, 02 Oct 2008 11:12:50 -0800

Okay, here's a thought. Would 7 retarded people living next door bring your property value down? I mean, a halfway house probably would. But, a retard house? I don't see why that would.

Comment by heywhatsit

heywhatsit — Thu, 02 Oct 2008 11:14:34 -0800

I would think having 7 retarded neighbors would be lots of fun. Think of the hijinx! I suppose if they got out of line a pellet gun would keep the peace.

Comment by Bellevue Ave

Bellevue Ave — Thu, 02 Oct 2008 11:15:28 -0800

God, there was a time when American politics revolved around dog controversy.

Comment by Little Red Ryan Hood

Little Red Ryan Hood — Thu, 02 Oct 2008 11:15:53 -0800

@ 6: Really retarded as in too retarded to do yard work for a quarter or beanie baby?

Comment by elenchos

elenchos — Thu, 02 Oct 2008 11:24:35 -0800

Funny how retards always come in sevens. Are they dwarfs? If it's seven retarded dwarfs, then definitely, I'm all over that. Especially if you can see the seven dwarfs from my yard, toddling about in that droll way they do.

Comment by Gurldoggie

Gurldoggie — Thu, 02 Oct 2008 11:25:44 -0800

I will totally do your yard work for a Beanie Baby.

Comment by best

best — Thu, 02 Oct 2008 11:27:20 -0800

Best comments ever? I say yes. And, Julie in Chicago is a great addition to Slog. Someone get her, a, um, whatever is you get for slogging.

Comment by Apedog

Apedog — Thu, 02 Oct 2008 11:27:29 -0800

Love Scrupples!

Comment by whatevernevermind

whatevernevermind — Thu, 02 Oct 2008 11:28:27 -0800

I would only sign the petition if all of them were also homosexual school teachers.

Comment by i love my hourlong commute

i love my hourlong commute — Thu, 02 Oct 2008 11:32:42 -0800

As long as they weren't allowed to own large yappy dogs, or park their cars on the lawn, sure. I already have retarded neighbors who leave their dogs outside to yap all day. I can tell they're retarded because they owe more on their homes now than they did when they initially bought into the area.

Comment by PopTart

PopTart — Thu, 02 Oct 2008 11:33:15 -0800

Been there.

Comment by Hernandez

Hernandez — Thu, 02 Oct 2008 11:34:45 -0800

As long as no one would get upset when I dress the 'tards up in funny costumes and stage pageants in my backyard, I would not sign the petition.

Comment by That Would Be a No

That Would Be a No — Thu, 02 Oct 2008 11:37:06 -0800

Yeah, that is all I need is a house load of republican living next to me. By the way, how many of them where Sarah Palin's kids again?

Comment by UNPAID BLOGGER

UNPAID BLOGGER — Thu, 02 Oct 2008 11:40:39 -0800

The author of this question obviously saw The Boys Next Door, and it freaked them the fuck out.

Comment by kerri harrop

kerri harrop — Thu, 02 Oct 2008 11:41:51 -0800

I'm with @11. Sounds lively and exciting! There was a retarded kid living at the end of my cousin's cul-de-sac, and once he ran down the street naked. It was awesome.

His shenanigans were later upstaged by Maury, the brain damaged hang glider dude at the other end of the street. He built a giant cage for Bigfoot, hung a slab of meat in it, and put in the woods. Again: awesome!

Comment by Christin

Christin — Thu, 02 Oct 2008 11:44:51 -0800

I love Scruples! Please keep posting them!

...How *did* one win this game? I like to think of these as questions with correct, "most-scrupulous" answers, and answering correctly gives you points, and the person with the Most Scruples (no retards! no black son-in-law! no homosexual teachers!) wins.

As to the question: For the size of houses in my neighborhood, a seventard (!) house would be really awfully crowded, so from a quality-of-life perspective, no.

I like the idea that this situation would add primarily hi-jinx to the neighborhood, along with healthy doses each of shinanigans and wacky fun.

Comment by Mike in MO

Mike in MO — Thu, 02 Oct 2008 11:45:09 -0800

@ 13: OK, not that retarded. We gotta be reasonable here.

Also, @ 14: if the retards are dwarfs, this ins't even a question. The only question is how much time to spend watching them waddle around.

Also, also, @ !8: and black!

Finally, @ 16: I second that. I hearby nominate Julie in Chicago for the next Freaky Friday. (that's what you get for prolific commenting on the Slog)

Comment by superfrankenstein

superfrankenstein — Thu, 02 Oct 2008 11:46:05 -0800

Yes. Seven is the luckiest number of retards. Which reminds me. One is the loneliest number of retards.

Comment by inkweary

inkweary — Thu, 02 Oct 2008 11:49:28 -0800

I wouldn't sign but if it were proposed in practically any middle-class neighborhood in Seattle the NIMBY's would block it anyway.

Comment by John McCain

John McCain — Thu, 02 Oct 2008 11:50:04 -0800

Could I just mention to you, in a moment of seriousness, that I spent five-and-a-half years in a prison cell. I didn't have a lawn. I didn't have a door. And I spent those five-and-a-half years because I love this country, not because I was looking for a house full of retards when I got out.

Comment by Jubilation T. Cornball

Jubilation T. Cornball — Thu, 02 Oct 2008 11:50:32 -0800

OK, I'll bite. Yes, I would sign the petition.

Once upon a time, I lived in Los Angeles directly next door to a residence for profoundly retarded adults. Daily and nightly -- and i mean daily and nightly -- there was some kind of significant disruption of the peace: screaming; smashing of dishes; endlessly repeating guttural bellowings like a cow with the aftosa and more...it drove all of us in the complex insane (including, god love him, John Henson, then the host of Talk Soup).

Knowing that, and knowing the toll it took on our quality of life as neighbors of that facility, I would calmly sign the petition, with the hope that the home for the retarded could be located in an environment where the impact on residents would be largely reduced.

That's my answer. And no, I have no scruples...

Comment by Capital Hillebrity

Capital Hillebrity — Thu, 02 Oct 2008 11:59:15 -0800

I say yes not because I have anything against retards but parking could become a hassle what with their having their 'special needs' van coming by every day to pick them up.

Comment by Julie in Chicago

Julie in Chicago — Thu, 02 Oct 2008 12:02:50 -0800

I am near tears with laughter at @24 and 27. Actually, scratch that, now there are actual tears as I am thinking about singing "One is the Loneliest Number (of Retards)".

We are seriously all bad people for mocking the retarded, but I'll be damned if this isn't the funniest comment thread in awhile. There should be some sort of penance you can do to atone for this (is there a patron saint of retards to pray to?).

Comment by inkweary

inkweary — Thu, 02 Oct 2008 12:10:46 -0800

@30 You have the scruples to be honest.

Comment by K

Thu, 02 Oct 2008 12:13:19 -0800

No way.

Six, I could tolerate, but seven? That's just crazy.

....

Comment by Joneser

Joneser — Thu, 02 Oct 2008 12:55:33 -0800

I remember that there also used to be a Scruples for kids, which my brother and I were given by some judgmental aunt. Most of the questions were about stealing candy and cheating on homework and tattling.

Comment by Callie

Callie — Thu, 02 Oct 2008 12:57:26 -0800

@27
5 star lols, would lol again

Comment by Joneser

Joneser — Thu, 02 Oct 2008 13:05:42 -0800

Also, I would totally not sign a petition opposing the retard house. I don't like petitions.

Comment by douglas

douglas — Thu, 02 Oct 2008 13:18:28 -0800

seven? why seven? and would they have a caretaker or would this be some sort of twisted sociological experiment, like the real world, but with retards.

and i agree with julie in chicago, we are all bad people. i'm shocked we haven't been scolded by now for the use of the term retard, and i think the patron saint of retards is named corky or something.

Comment by Adam

Adam — Thu, 02 Oct 2008 15:59:26 -0800

I have enjoyed the comments from outsider Julie.

Julie makes this blog work better.

Comment by angela

angela — Fri, 03 Oct 2008 09:50:33 -0800

It depends, which of my current next door neighbors will the retarded people be replacing? If it's the ones to the right, sign me up for the welcoming committee.