That's the problem he wrote you to fix, not his old problem of, uh, deciding that he wasn't going to even try.

So. How does one make a man?

This may sound nasty, and it's extremely politically inncorrect, but in my experience most women have total contempt for sexually inexperienced men -it's a self-esteem thing, they feel like they are getting stuck with something nobody else wanted.

I've never lived anywhere with a bigger concentration of either a) angry, hostile, self-absorbed women, or b) the passive, wimpy men who (ever-so-secretly) love them. It's probably worth pondering why there are so many of 'em here, but Seattle is definitely the world capital for wussy male behavior.

If INTC does happen to live here, he needs to move away as soon as humanly possible. If he can get somewhere with decent weather, where men and women both actually like to flirt, date and fuck (without the need for "sex-positive" movements, classes, or special hardware), and the whole "acting like a man" thing will almost automatically follow....

That's where I spent a lot of time in those formative social years, assuming (incorrectly) that expressing interest was a Bad Thing and that it was much smarter to do nothing and hope for the best. Big mistake and it's taken me a lot of time to get over that.

However! I learned something absolutely fascinating after a while. There's a world of difference between expressing your interest, in saying you like her, and being that drunk, mouth-breathing asshole. If you screw up your confidence, if you can ask questions or make statements without hemming and hawing and dancing around the goddamned topic ("I was wondering if maybe perhaps that is to say that I was curious because...") you'd be amazed at what you get.

At the right time, in the right place, saying "I'd really like to kiss you" is a more potent attractor than anything else.

I once went on a date with a 25 year old guy (I was 18) who told me it was the first date he ever had. :I Punching me in the tits would have done less to ruin the mood.

Has he ever considered how even more disrespectful it is for a man to "protect" a woman by not showing any sexual desire? Women have sexual desires of their own, and we don't need your misguided chivalry.

For most females, it can be really hard to tell a guy who likes you to his face that you hate his guts. Most females try to show common courtesy while kind of making excuses, and a lot of guys mistake that for interest/friendliness so they will repeatedly approach a female and that's where a lot of the unfair "stalker" rumors get started.

I don't get the whole thing where women find a man who doesn't make a move unnatractive. Why not make the move yourself and save the time?

Most people are also idiots.

Coincidence? I think not.

Honestly women, 95% of the time it's on your terms anyways, regardless of the guys confidence level. To be successful, it's almost like we have to appear interested, but your opinion of us doesn't really matter. What the hell does that mean? It's almost like you fought for respect so much, that most guys are put of by the work in getting to know you. Chivalry is nearly dead.

And now it's ridiculous because the stakes seem to be even higher. It's almost to the point of ... you ask a girl out you are expected to be wanting to go steady with them. How the fuck are women so sure of themselve? How the fuck am I so sure I want to be steady with you? It's taken all the fun and mystery out of dating as every god damn relationship we have has to be a "serious relationship" or we risk social ostrisation.

So I don't know ... I do have two issues. One, it seems that all unwelcome advances are met with hostility. and Two, all welcome advances come with the expectation of a serious relationship (or at least serious on your terms.) Or maybe I haven't lived in the east coast in a while ...

I have no desire to go back to the days of "stand by your man". And yes, I am man enough to want to be held accountable when i genuinely fuck up, and learn how to treat a woman with respect.

I don't know.

I live in a very conservative area. The last time I tried to date, it was with a young lady that I got along with very well...because in all of brief conversations, she had just assumed that I was divorced like her (the topic of past marriges just never came up -honestly, we mostly talked movies right up until "Hey, want to go out to dinner?"). Right before our big date, she found out that I had GASP!)Never. Been. Married. Not. Even. Once.

This caused her to freak the fuck out. She automatically assumed I was a virgin (not true, but not far from the truth either), which was honestly hurtfull and just plain weird -really, that's the first thing she assumes when a guy doesn't have a ring? I had no idea any woman without a bonnet on thought that way anymore. She instantly got really cold and distant. It was an extremely awkward and brief meal.

It seems like the lower I aim, the angrier and more insulting the rejections get. After awhile the wall of hostility gets so acidic that I don't even want to risk touching it again.

Yours truly,
An Honest-to-God Woman

At the end of the day being OVERLY respectful of women. In the long run doesn't help you respect women.

But really, there's tons of women out there who would love to devirginize you. Its fun to be that special first, so I think you should just get the word that you're a virgin out there and be a pig and lose it to someone who's only interested in that aspect of you, have it be a casual encounter. Then maybe you can start talking to women you like and pursue an actual relationship.

And also why sports, ie NONemotional bonding isn't such a bad thing.

And also why sports, ie NONemotional bonding isn't such a bad thing.

Start being a pig now, before you get involved in a lengthy relationship, else your fear of being a pig will carry over into the relationship - which will lead to frustrations all around.

What would help in being a pig is if you start looking forward to getting laid, instead of fearing it.

I was you two years ago. Embrace your inner pig and don't become me two years from now.