Savage Love Savage Love Letter of the Day
posted by October 16 at 16:26 PMon
How do you get over fear of acting like a pig?
I’m a 28 year-old straight male virgin. There are lots of insecurities that have prevented me from getting laid. I’m dealing with those and I’m making progress but the one area I’m stuck on is being afraid of being labeled a “pig.” The image of men is that we’re sex crazed maniacs and I never wanted to be like that so I went in the opposite direction and never pursued women. Pursuing women seems like a stalkerish thing to do. I acted like a friend even if I got what I thought were signals that she might be interested in a relationship. Women seem to to like me and I’ve always assumed that it was because I didn’t act like a “typical” guy. I have a normal sex drive and masturbate frequently while thinking about women so no homosexuality lurking about. But I have this stupid idea that showing a sexual interest is inherently disrespectful and I don’t want to be an asshole so I sit on the sidelines as other men get to date the women I want. There is this one girl that I just got over that I thought was sending me signals that I did nothing about. We flirted for two years, and I thought there was something between us but as it turns out she had a boyfriend the entire time. Someone else was showing an interest in her and when her relationship ended this other guy moved in and now he’s sleeping with her. If I hadn’t been such a coward I could have made pass at her and maybe I’d get to date her now. I need to fix this problem now before it’s too late.
I Need To Change
Let your inner pig out, INTC, you have my permission.
Here’s the thing about male piggishness, kiddo: women dig it; fags do too. What women don’t like, what fags don’t like, are guys who are incapable of moderating their piggishness. Everyone wants to be with someone who LUSTS after ‘em, or wants ‘em, who’ll take ‘em. You can be a good, respectful guy AND be a “pig” too. You just have to be able to turn it on and off as the situation requires—and if you could shut it off permanently, INTC, you can certainly shut it off intermittently.
The next time you’re interested in a woman, let her know—let her know you’re into her, give her your phone number, ask for hers. Force yourself to do it. Will she think you’re a pig? If she isn’t into you, she might. If she is, she won’t.