Slog - Comments on Savage Love Letter of the Day

Comment by Vince

Vince — Wed, 15 Oct 2008 15:52:49 -0800

He sounds like he's interested in her brother. But, really, selling a hard drive with shemale porn, even "hidden" just seems too obvious. Something isn't adding up.

Comment by Michael A.

Michael A. — Wed, 15 Oct 2008 16:00:09 -0800

Speaking as a guy in a monogamous hetero relationship with a history of looking at shemale porn -

1) I don't have any history with or intentions towards actual shemales. It's a fantasy, it's porn, it's not something I pursue in real life.

2) It's not necessarily about having sex with a shemale. It could be about imagining BEING a shemale. I've watched both man-on-shemale porn and woman-on-shemale porn (much harder to find), but I prefer the latter. Sometimes it just seems like it would be awesome to have tits. Like crossdressing, which I have done from time to time, I rapidly lose interest once my arousal is gone.

That being said, I don't have an actual COLLECTION of porn, I just browse it from time to time. Maybe D.H.'s dude does have a deeper interest (or, as Vince says, a hidden agenda).

Comment by Hernandez

Hernandez — Wed, 15 Oct 2008 16:02:34 -0800

He may have just forgotten that the porn was on the hard drive. No matter how meticulous one tries to be about concealing one's porn collection(s), there's always room for error. I once forgot to delete some porn off of an old computer that I gave to a neighbor. It happens.

Comment by Jonathan Bailo Thomas

Jonathan Bailo Thomas — Wed, 15 Oct 2008 16:03:54 -0800

I call major bullshit. Nobody is attracted to she-male porn.

Comment by max solomon

max solomon — Wed, 15 Oct 2008 16:27:23 -0800

"Shemale porn/escorts are almost exclusively consumed/patronized by straight guys who are into cock, or would like to get into cock, but are absolutely, positively not into other dudes."

umm..., aren't she-males STILL dudes?

Comment by Stacy in Austin

Stacy in Austin — Wed, 15 Oct 2008 16:43:42 -0800

Being a chick, I can only speculate, but any guy in America who is confronted by his g/f demanding that he 'level' with her about his porn habits is very likely going to lie through his teethm and I would have a hard time blaming him. A lot of women have a lot of really effed-up ideas about what it means to catch their guy looking at *any* porn, let alone porn that's weird in any way. I suspect that if she pushes this with him in the confrontational way you've suggested it might turn an innocuous curiosity into a relationship-breaking cluster-fuck when it doesn't need to be. What about a playful "oh come on, a *joke*? Come on, really, I want to know, maybe we can pick out some toys together." Heck, she even offered.

Comment by rococo

rococo — Wed, 15 Oct 2008 16:53:21 -0800

if I may extrapolate from personal experience - he wants to be pegged. and he wants to be pegged by you, and not some hairy, muscly gay dude. The varieties of human sexuality know no bounds, ya know?

I imagine his reluctance to own up could be related to two things. 1: he's afraid you'll be disgusted and not understanding of his fetish. This is understandable, as shemales/pegging/role reversal is not, um, mainstream. 2: he's a severe closet case, to the point where he'll watch dicks coming into contact with each other, but only if there are tits and waxing involved as well.

The first scenario seems more plausible, but who knows?

Comment by elenchos

elenchos — Wed, 15 Oct 2008 17:22:47 -0800

Considering how often this come up, isn't it time to get one of the at-risk youth over there to help Savage Love explain how to properly erase a file?

Comment by LMSW

LMSW — Wed, 15 Oct 2008 17:35:31 -0800

The guy is a very particular 10 years older (not 25 to 35, 30 to 40, etc.) and he's either lying or has a mindf*ck sense of humor (he didn't wipe the drive?). So older + lying or baggage= You're young + don't waste your time. Find someone who is sexually educated enough to ask directly for what they want.

Comment by Sirkowski

Sirkowski — Wed, 15 Oct 2008 18:13:09 -0800

Uh, why is this any of her business? It's not like she found kiddy porn or snuff porn.

Comment by Hoyt Clagwell

Hoyt Clagwell — Wed, 15 Oct 2008 19:58:57 -0800

@10: Exactly. Aren't we all entitled to a private interior realm? Sometimes some of our masturbation fodder has nothing whatsoever to do with the desires we'd actually like or need to fulfill--it's just some shit that only works in our head.

I think Dan's off on this one. Don't grill the boyfriend and demand a full, exacting confession. Just fucking drop it.

But holy fucking shit, is it really that difficult to reformat a motherfucking hard drive? Or at least look up the C-drive in the goddamned control panel and make sure that there isn't some huge chunk of unavailable memory that might be filled with, oh, a forgotten porn stash?

Christ, it's like she's dating my dad.

Comment by StC

StC — Wed, 15 Oct 2008 20:45:35 -0800

Men don't have "joke" porn collections? Oh, hell yes they do.

There are the obvious jokes: Lemon Party, Goatse, etc. And then there is just the strange. I've got a whole collection of strange straight porn that is not erotic to me at all, SENT TO ME BY GAY FRIENDS. It's a joke.

Comment by Greg

Greg — Wed, 15 Oct 2008 21:14:49 -0800

I am really tired of hearing about women losing their shit about men looking at porn.

Comment by DX

DX — Thu, 16 Oct 2008 01:31:32 -0800

Men don't assemble "joke" porn collections? Have you perchance seen the Rule #34 collection?: http://rule34.paheal.net/
Many, many porn lulz to be had.

Still, the dude was doing what any man of worth would do when getting caught with a stash of tranny porn -- pleading ignorance. Demanding a confrontation from him about it will only lead to some unnecessary drama.

Comment by Gloria

Gloria — Thu, 16 Oct 2008 08:02:53 -0800

Can I just suggest that if she does talk to her boyfriend, she doesn't use the phrases "sexual health" or "very sexually educated person"?