Savage Love Savage Love Letter of the Day
posted by October 15 at 15:30 PMon
I am a 20 year old female, I have been dating a 30 year old male for about 6 months now. He sold my brother a hard drive and my brother happend to find A LOT of shemale porn inside of a hidden folder on the hard drive. I did ask him about it, and he said it was a joke. I’m not sure that its a joke. I’m a very sexually educated person, and think that fantasies are a part of sexual health to some degree, but for some reason I feel concerned about the whole she male situation. Should I buy a strap on and join in or should I feel concerned?
It’s not a joke—and it’s not necessarily an “either/or” question, D.H. You can buy a strap-on and feel concerned, D.H. But first…
Your boyfriend’s interest in shemale porn and, presumably, shemale persons is not evidence that he’s gay or incapable of monogamy. That’s the assumption scandalized girlfriends and/or wives tend to make when they discover a big, fat, sweaty cache of shemale porn—he must be a fag or he’s cheating on me with shedudes or both. But rest (somewhat) assured: Gay men aren’t interested in shemales or shemale porn, and gay men don’t patronize shemale escorts. Shemale porn/escorts are almost exclusively consumed/patronized by straight guys who are into cock, or would like to get into cock, but are absolutely, positively not into other dudes.
So what do you do?
You don’t accept transparent bullshit for an answer, for starters. Men don’t assemble “joke” porn collections. Say this to the boyfriend: “Look, level with me about this—or we’re through.” And this is what honest “leveling with” will sound like: “Look, I’m straight, I love women, I’m into you. But I’m fascinated by chicks with dicks and want to experience what it’s like to be with a chick with a dick sometime/again sometime.”
If he doesn’t say that or something close, dump him. If he says that or something close, you have to decide if you can stay with a man with an admitted interest in shemales or if you would prefer find a new man who isn’t interested in shemales or is better at concealing his interest in shemales.