Religion Porn and Pastries
posted by on October 12 at 10:18 AM
From today’s Seattle Times…
It was a church event billed as “Porn and Pastries,” and some 300 women, mostly in their 20s and 30s, paid $10 each to attend.But there were no naked images at the EastLake Community Church in Bothell on Friday night; the baring came when some of those attending told about their private lives.
They were here, in many cases, because of what happens when a woman finds out her spouse or boyfriend has been secretly spending a lot of time looking at porn on the Internet, often while espousing Christian values.
Yeah, it must suck so hard when you find out that the man you married is, you know, a man. Reporter Erik Lacitis gives HUMP! a shout out at the end of his story:
If anything, [“Porn and Pastries”] illustrated what has been historically Seattle’s split personality about such matters.This weekend was an anti-porn weekend.
On Oct. 24 and 25, The Stranger is sponsoring “Hump!”, advertised as “Seattle’s biggest, best and ONLY amateur and locally produced porn festival.”
Lacitis is too polite to mention that all eight announced screenings of HUMP are sold out—that’s 2400+ tickets—and that we’ve added three additional screenings. And if past festivals are any indication, all the added screenings will sell out quickly. So Seattle may be “split” on porn, but the divide isn’t even. Not even close. There are way more people in Seattle who want to sit in a theater and enjoy pornography—particularly the kind we show at HUMP!—than there are people who want sit in a church and listen to preachers talk about the evils of pornography.
Get your HUMP! tickets here.
Any testimonials from couples whose marriages have been torn apart by the scourge of pastry addiction?
@1 Those are the My-Wife-Got-Fat-And-Now-I-Don't-Love-Her-Anymore breakups you used to see on Jerry Springer and the like. Funny that when your marriage is ruined over a pastry addiction, you're an asshole, but over a porn addiction and you're a martyr.
You can watch porn in a theater anytime. Fantasy Unlimited downtown.
I like porn, but I don't live in Seattle. Any chance future years of HUMP! could feature a webcast so more of us good porn-loving people elsewhere in the world could enjoy it too? :)
Just a quick reminder here that porn does cause some people problems.
And if you don't want people judging the attendees at HUMP!, I'd suggest not judging the Porn and Pastries people.
andy, the porn 'n pastries people already do judge hump attendees. regularly and viciously.
Three cheers for HUMP!
Porn doesn't cause anybody problems. It only exacerbates problems that may already exist.
From the Times article:
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Presumably her husband could have used the "delete browsing history" tool on his computer — although, she said, a woman just has a sense that the man in her life is spending time on those Web sites. The husband decided it was the Christian thing to do to tell his wife.
"That's why, she said, their home computer now has software that monitors its Web history. If a porn site is detected, a report is sent to the wife, as well as to a friend who's helping them out.
"There is no privacy when you're married," she said.
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Wow - just ... wow.
Probably high calorie food intake is to blame for the most divorces, but I would bet one partner joining a fanatic church is a close second. A little porn on the side couldn't come close.
Dan, I scanned the flier for the "porn weekend" and sent it to you in e-mail weeks ago, I assume you didn't get it? I also received a church "porn weekend" flier from another church on the Eastside but didn't bother to scan that one in.
And no, I have no idea why I'm on church anti-porn mailing lists. Best guess, I live close to the churches and they just blasted the neighborhood with their fliers.
Suspicious women will always be suspicious. But it bears noting that squirrely men will always be squirrely.
I grew up in extreme western Iowa, just across the Missouri river from Nebraska. Iowa is pretty laissez-faire when it comes to porn, and Nebraska is pretty overwrought about it: It's quite common to see billboards in Nebraska with a picture of a U of N football hero (who rank somewhere just above God in the Nebraska hierarchy) scowling at the camera, with the slogan "REAL MEN DON'T USE PORN"
printed beside him.
Because of this, there are adult book stores/porn theaters on the Iowa side of every bridge. The parking lots are always filled with Nebraska cars. It's an interesting comment on "real men" in Nebraska.
As for me, I'm unabashedly and enthusiastically "pro-porn" as long as it doesn't have kids, pets or unwilling participants in it. As for poor married Christian guys, as long as their not squandering the kid's college funds on pay-per-view or similar, or showing it to the children, let them have some fun.
oops, switch "their" to "they're". I guess I just had porn on the mind or something.
Mr. "computer sends a porn report to the wife AND neighbor" dude probably has a long list of proxy sites he can browse through. Also, there's no monitoring software in the world that can detect everything -- and it probably "detects" more non-porn sites than porn ones. Betcha anything The Stranger is on it.
@15 Well, the Stranger did post an awful lot of armpit porn a few weeks ago...
You marry the whole person, not just the things you like. If his wife is such a bitch, yes bitch, he should dump her. I wouldn't let anybody rule my life like that. Life is to be enjoyed. That's also why I'd dump the fucking religion too! Fuck them buddy. Run for it. Tell them to kiss your ass. Especially if that bitch is living off your income. Tell her to hit the road!
@ #17, But what of the children?
Think of the children! The children!
Yes, I hope he thinks of the children when he hits the road. May he take 'em too or else they'll be pushed into some Christo-facist virginity pledge program and get knocked up in middle school....or worse, be turned into mommy's little man. Ick! (Yes, I have relatives in Idaho like this. Why do you ask?)
I'm confused -- are they saying you have to choose between porn and pastries? Because, frankly, I prefer both. At the same time, if possible.
Dan's implied sympathy for these guys is amazing. Did you not notice the last sentence in the quotation you selected: "...her spouse or boyfriend has been secretly spending a lot of time looking at porn on the Internet, often while espousing Christian values.
These guys are conservative Christians, which means that they oppose women's autonomy and equal rights for gays at the same time that they officially oppose pornography. If they're still looking at pornography, it's a classic case of hypocrisy and "for me but not for thee." They don't want women or gays to have sexual autonomy, but they're happy to break the rules for themselves.
It's the same deal with Ted Haggard and the rest of those Christian hypocrites. There's nothing wrong with using the services of a male prostitute; there's something wrong with doing that and then going to church on Sunday to heap hate on the homos.
Making wives the guardians of their husbands' libidos is deeply disturbing. It makes me feel ill and squirmy. As if wives need to leash their husbands like dogs--wait, there's some porn potential here.
@17: At the same time, hearing a woman called a bitch several times with vitriol in a paragraph kinda makes me wanna throw up, even though I've unhesitantly called women bitches before myself (I'm female by the way.). Ah, hypocrisy. At least I try to own it.
Churches really need to spend more time on useful things like non-judgmentally comforting people, providing shelter and food, and raising questions that actually mean something (you know stuff about life purpose, how to get along with other humans, etc.). How about meetings for women that were about "Pastries and Personal boundaries"--as in not enmeshing yourself with another person and having a life of your own (i.e. job, money, interests, friends, computer)--instead of conditioning women to live through others?
Making wives the guardians of their husbands' libidos is deeply disturbing. It makes me feel ill and squirmy. As if wives need to leash their husbands like dogs--wait, there's some porn potential here.
@17: At the same time, hearing a woman called a bitch several times with vitriol in a paragraph kinda makes me wanna throw up, even though I've unhesitantly called women bitches before myself (I'm female by the way.). Ah, hypocrisy. At least I try to own it.
Churches really need to spend more time on useful things like non-judgmentally comforting people, providing shelter and food, and raising questions that actually mean something (you know stuff about life purpose, how to get along with other humans, etc.). How about meetings for women that were about "Pastries and Personal boundaries"--as in not enmeshing yourself with another person and having a life of your own (i.e. job, money, interests, friends, computer)--instead of conditioning women to live through others?
Hmm. I can't really understand why people are having so much trouble privately and/or secretly viewing porn. Get off for free on the trailers. No embarrassing Visa bill for the husband (er, I mean, wife) to see. Don't save your URL history. Done.
The anti-porn stance of many of these women comes from basic insecurity. A lot of women of this type that I know equate viewing porn with a commentary on the relationship-i.e. that if the husband wants or needs porn, she must not be good enough and she will probably lose him. Whereas the man is just thinking, "Hey, naked boobs! Sweet!" the woman is thinking "why does he want to look at those naked breasts? Aren't my breasts good enough? What's wrong with MEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!"
it's not usually the monetary cost that is causing a problem -- it is looking at all. even viewing american apparel ads could be considered trouble.
as mentioned above, it is "wrong" to look at porn because lustful thoughts about anyone save your wife are wrong. these guys usually feel pretty bad about it, which is why they tell their spouse (or a friend) and have them help monitor it.
these men and women are usually well-meaning, and put themselves in a very difficult situation. the guy feels weak and guilty for looking, the woman feels unworthy or non-wanted/loved.
can you imagine trying to operate under those conditions?
Is it considered espousing Christian values when one calls out Oh, God! or Jesus! while watching the exciting climax of a movie?
Seriously, this guy is a 32 year-old former Youth Pastor who speaks to gatherings of 20 and 30 year-old women who are having sex-related marital difficulties. They pay him $10 to attend, and he moved to Las Vegas so he could have proximity to the sinners. His xxxchurch website is a bunch of blogs about attending porn conventions, with great reader comments.
So, when you do a MSNYahooLive search for Craig Gross next year, you'll have something new but not surprising for the Youth Pastor Watch.
I thought this post was titled "Porn and Pasties," which go together a lot better than porn and pastries.
It's really kind of sad that there are churches out there with nothing better to do than police the fantasy lives of their congregations.
Soooooooooo...what you're saying is this was an event that WASN'T catered by The Erotic Bakery?
/blink
No penis-shaped cakes? No chocolate tits? No - gasp! - penis lollipops?
Honestly! What passes for entertainment these days. *tsk tsk*
so, uh, this whole thread has been really theraputic for me...
I'm just sayin...
Remember there were three events this weekend!! They were:
Porn and Parents
Porn and Pastries
Porn and Pancakes
The flyer was scanned and discussed on a silly podcast here:
https://mollyrocket.com/7494
Click on the pics to enlarge them.
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