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Friday, October 10, 2008

Lunchtime Quickie

posted by on October 10 at 12:15 PM

Ah ha haaa! You funny vegans with all your “funny” rules. Ah ha ha! Hooo! That’s rich. Funny, funny vegans!

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1

I didn't realise that meat was an STI.

Live and learn.

Posted by gimmeaminute | October 10, 2008 12:37 PM
2

I hate "tv-news voice."

Posted by superyeadon | October 10, 2008 12:37 PM
3

man, what a jerk. perhaps very uncomfortable with his sexuality/eating habits?

Posted by S | October 10, 2008 12:42 PM
4

Professional teleprompter readers: such a witty bunch.

Remember: square your shoulders and PUNCH those HEADlines OUT!

Posted by Tiktok | October 10, 2008 12:56 PM
5

What I love about Vegans is their holier-than-thou attitude.

Posted by rod | October 10, 2008 12:58 PM
6

"I'm a level five vegan; I don't eat anything that casts a shadow."

- The Simpsons

I can dig vegetarians, but vegans are fucking weird. Chances are, if we've just met you and you've deliberately told me you're vegan, you're also a complete asshole. If you don't really talk about it, then more power to you.

Posted by bearseatbeats | October 10, 2008 12:59 PM
7

I predict the number of people griping about other peoples eating habits (and supposed attitudes) will far surpass the number of vegans who bother to post in this thread.




Anyhow it's ok, we've heard it all before.

Posted by Will Penguin | October 10, 2008 1:05 PM
8

@5&6:

There are lots of us non-vegan assholes. You just don't know that we're vegan unless you happen to be eating with us (or reading our occasional Slog posts on the subject). ;)

I, for one, will happily fuck appropriately attractive omnivores. Applications are being accepted.

Posted by violet_dagrinder | October 10, 2008 1:05 PM
9

I meant non-asshole vegans.

There are lots of non-vegan assholes as well.

LOL!!!

Posted by violet_dagrinder | October 10, 2008 1:06 PM
10

PS: I actually enjoy making my girlfriend eggs. I'm definitely not a level five vegan. Ah well.

Posted by Will Penguin | October 10, 2008 1:07 PM
11

working at my bar, a couple sat down and looked at the menu and ordered drinks which i made. as i set the drinks down i asked if they were interested in any food. one of the couple said quickly and smugly "no we're vegan, there's nothing we can eat here", which wasn't actually true, but whatever. i smiled and walked away, but as i thought more about it, it really started to grate on me. i didn't ask if they were vegan, i asked if they wanted anything to eat. a simple "no" would have been fine, but instead they wanted to demonstrate their self-righteousness and how put out they were by our southern contemporary cuisine.

vegans, i know you're not all like this, but please for those who pull this sort of snobbish crap, you're not helping your cause at all. just like these vegansexuals aren't helping either. and news anchors, stop being retarded fuckwits, please.

Posted by douglas | October 10, 2008 1:26 PM
12

@8

That's my point, I guess. We always seem to hear from the asshole vegans. Welcome, non-asshole vegans!*

*but not non-vegan assholes, naturally. heh.

Posted by bearseatbeats | October 10, 2008 1:34 PM
13

Loved this video, thanks for posting. Once upon a time I was a misguided vegan... from having been "inside", i can attest that some of them actually do look down on other people for what they choose to stuff in their mouths... stoopid.

Posted by Raven | October 10, 2008 1:49 PM
14

"If you eat meat your bodies are made up of dead carcasses"
Well, EVERYBODY'S body is made up of the same muscle and other tissues. The wonders of digestion insure that my system continues to exist in the same basic form for its entire lifetime. It may do it it better health, or more efficiently, but no matter what I put in the mouth I will continue to be made up of a substance that resembles what it is- meat.
And so will all of the vegans. Your body doesn't care where the food molecules come from. Once they're in the pipeline they all get processed the same way.
On the other hand, these TV people deserve to get fired. Complete idiocy on the hoof. That guy is a jelly donut.

Posted by Pastrychef | October 10, 2008 2:10 PM
15

i'd be a vegan, but i cannot live without sashimi.

Posted by max solomon | October 10, 2008 2:10 PM
16

Oh no, even though it's huge enough to make it onto the news vegan people who only sleep with other vegans are going to be very lonely. There must be NO VEGANS ANYWHERE.

Posted by Sarah | October 10, 2008 2:10 PM
17

@6 "... but vegans are fucking weird"

It sounds like you might be one of those many non-vegan assholes.

I love that on a post where the content is making fun of vegans some of the responses lash out at vegans. Who, now, is holier than thou? Certainly not the vegans. We're just sitting here getting made fun of.

Posted by Jessie | October 10, 2008 2:12 PM
18

That was genuinly funny, thanks for sharing.

Vegansexual... *snort*

Posted by Sirkowski | October 10, 2008 2:25 PM
19

As a vegetarian, I have met infinitely more meat-eating assholes than vegan assholes, so stfu.

Posted by K | October 10, 2008 2:28 PM
20

Re: crazy vegans: the only vegans i ever dated were women aged 18-21, but they were all crazy (but this was college, so they were probably just vegan until graduation anyways).
Then again they were all women and there isn't exactly a shortage of crazy women out there!

Posted by Fucking Vegansexuals | October 10, 2008 2:35 PM
21

Yeah, those guys are very unprofessional. If I was in charge of the station, they would get a very harsh warning.

Assholes come in all varieties.

Posted by sepiolida | October 10, 2008 2:40 PM
22

@17

Yeah, I often find it kinda amusing that the same people who are deriding vegans for being obnoxious and rude about what they do and don't eat will, in the next breath, go on to be completely rude and obnoxious about what THEY do and do not eat.

Somehow to say, "people who eat meat are all heartless, thoughtless brutes" is much, much worse than to say, "people who don't eat animal products are all self-righteous pricks". Apparently. It's confusing.

Posted by violet_dagrinder | October 10, 2008 2:46 PM
23

@17

Yeah, I often find it kinda amusing that the same people who are deriding vegans for being obnoxious and rude about what they do and don't eat will, in the next breath, go on to be completely rude and obnoxious about what THEY do and do not eat.

Somehow to say, "people who eat meat are all heartless, thoughtless brutes" is much, much worse than to say, "people who don't eat animal products are all self-righteous pricks". Apparently. It's confusing.

Posted by violet_dagrinder | October 10, 2008 2:47 PM
24

Nothing wrong with being vegan and not wanting to be with someone who isn't. It's a personal preference, plenty of non-smokers don't want to be with a smoker on principle, like me not wanting to have sex with a woman who owns khaki capri pants. What's ridiculous is trying to come up with a group identity for your little hang up.

Posted by Dougsf | October 10, 2008 3:04 PM
25

People who eat meat smell weird, so I can see where vegansexuals are coming from.

Posted by trig | October 10, 2008 3:18 PM
26

I agree with Doug @24.

As for @25, that goes both ways, but I think it depends on the people; some people are more sensitive to that kind of thing and from the other side of it, some people really smell like (certain) things they ingest.

Posted by Mikki | October 10, 2008 3:23 PM
27

i like that she corrects her pronounciation after the total sports dude or whoever he is starts laughing. you know he's got a brother in law he thinks is an idiot for not eating honey or something who gets totally frustrated when he tries to explain his very important beliefs to him.

Posted by erin | October 10, 2008 4:14 PM
28

If vegans in America knew how to really cook without using meat, dairy, oils, etc, in stead of throwing everything together with some tofu, I'd be more than happy to date a vegan. But if their cooking ability is any reflection of their sexual ability, I'm not sure they really have any sexual skills worth bothering with.

Posted by Sargon Bighorn | October 10, 2008 4:58 PM
29

@28

Oh no you di'n't.

Posted by violet_dagrinder | October 10, 2008 6:15 PM
30

Best Bumper Sticker ever:

"I eat Vegans"

Posted by GoodGrief | October 11, 2008 3:22 AM
31

@11 You may not have a vested interest in the establishment that you work for, however when ever I talk to someone at a place where I am spending my money I assume that those working there may have an interest in seeing the place do well and that the person whom I am talking to may want to make the place better, so when I can't eat somewhere I let them know why. There is no lecture just simple "I am a vegan and I do not see anything that will suit me tonight." Just because you have a salad that you can take the cheese and bacon off of does not mean that you have vegan options.
It is very rude not to give a business person the option to earn your business. They are trying to earn a living after all.

Posted by yakdan | October 13, 2008 9:40 AM

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