2008 Lay It Down, Clown
posted by on October 21 at 11:11 AM
David Sedaris on the undecideds.
To put them in perspective, I think of being on an airplane. The flight attendant comes down the aisle with her food cart and, eventually, parks it beside my seat. “Can I interest you in the chicken?” she asks. “Or would you prefer the platter of shit with bits of broken glass in it?”
To be undecided in this election is to pause for a moment and then ask how the chicken is cooked.
I mean, really, what’s to be confused about?
So is Sedaris saying that McCain the platter of shit and Palin the broken glass, or is it the other way around? I demand a clarification.
Perfect. Absolutely spot-on.
"But what do we really know about the chicken?"
But I hear the chicken used to shit. Can we really trust a chicken that used to pall around with shit?
bit maybe those shards could be useful? for something? maybe?
I don't know if I can completely trust the chicken.
I'm afraid the chicken may have anti-American sentiments. I think the media should look into this.
I'm sure Obama would pick the shit so he could use the broken glass to hijack the plane and crash it into something.
Do I feel safe with this chicken? Maybe we should take another poll?
Am I wrong, or does Sedaris gets off a sly one by choosing this metaphor? He presents a slam dunk that it's nicer to eat airplane chicken than airplane pooglass; however, making that obvious choice still gets us served a meal of airline chicken. Perhaps he's suggesting we might do well to lower our expectations of an Obama presidency from "delicious" to "at least palatable."
looks like people really are choosing the chicken, though. bachmann has quite possibly ruined herself with the voters this year. check this out:
http://voices.washingtonpost.com/thefix/2008/10/bachmann_goes_boom.html?nav=rss_blog
The shit and broken glass would be environmentally friendly. Factory raised chicken is a tragedy on a scale unparalleled in human history. When presented with these choices, I would go hungry. Why isn't there a third option?
#10, I'm not sure Sedaris is capable of that level of metaphor. Probably accidentally deep like that.
Chickens don't say the pledge of allegiance! Never seen a chicken with a flag pin! Muslims eat chicken! I'm voting poo glass!
Maybe Sedaris is subtely saying that the whole "undecideds" thing is just a big chimera now.
It's just a matter of which side the formerly undecideds have taken.
Did they vote with their health or vote with their beliefs at the expense of their health?
We will re-defeat Obama in November! Poop/Glass-Shard '08!! Glass-Shard/Clinton '12!!!
Sedaris is from the south, he should know exactly why people choose shitglass over chicken. Shitglass has been imbued all of its life with the idea that chicken is shiftless, lazy, and inferior to himself. Chicken has a crazy sounding name that Shitglass finds distinctly "other". It goes on and on. I would, however, move to refer to McCain from now on as "Shitglass." Can I get a second?
Undecideds are either attention seekers, morons, completely uninformed, or a combination of all three. That means they will probably choose the shit-glass since only someone stupid who didn't know how bad it would be for them or wanted the world to watch them shit and vomit blood would make that choice.
@18,
Don't undecideds usually break for whoever is ahead? So, in the end, they're just looking to blindly follow. Figures.
Not so fast. Is it free-range, fairly-traded, organic shit versus farmed chicken?
Got a big switchblade, drop drop bill a tease
There's a deal goin' down, it don't go down around me
Rumors keep on spreadin' all over town
Lay it down clown, lay it down
Lay it down clown, lay it down
Spirit is willing and you think you got what it takes
The only exercise you ever get is the shakes
Rumors keep on spreadin' all over town
Lay it down clown, lay it down
Lay it down clown, lay it down
Get back to the hills, get back to back where you belong
Finally found out which way the wind blows
The rumors keep on spreadin' all over town
Lay it down clown, lay it down
Lay it down clown, lay it down
Lay it down clown, lay it down
Lay it down clown, lay it down
It is very obvious that McCain is the shit and Palin is the broken glass.
Damn all you people choosing chicken! All they had was poo glass by the time they got to me in the back of the plane.
Um...cake, please?
@16, You almost had me, then I saw you used "Obama" instead of "NObama". Better luck next time.
@23 Funny! You should've ordered a special meal.
Dang, someone here has already used the "spot-on" cliche. I call first dibs on "hit it out of the ballpark."
Tiger petters.
Please post David Sedaris talking about his brother "Rooster" with the "fuckit bucket"
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