Chow Into the Vegettoir
posted by October 10 at 12:42 PMon
A couple weeks ago, I took a tour of the factory that produces the vegan foodstuff Field Roast. This week, I write about it in the Chow section.
Two things that didn’t make it into the piece:
1. The concept of imitation meat—veggie “mock chicken” and the various other products designed especially to replicate the taste and texture of animal flesh—as the culinary equivalent of fake kiddie porn. If the original thing (meat, kiddie porn) is gross, why would you want to impersonate it, via “mock chicken” or Max Hardcore’s placing of legal-age vixens in kiddie-porn settings? The moral: A close approximation of grossness is gross, too. (I cut this because it’s kinda confused and maybe bullshit and I strive to keep kiddie-porn comparisons out of food reviews.)
2. Acknowledgement of the strange orange oil-juice that’s a component of a number of Field Roast products—in my case, the Mexican-y Field Roast sausage and Italian-y Field Roast deli slices. This orange oil-juice is the most tenacious food substance I’ve ever encountered—a single drop can somehow transmit oiliness to every surface in your kitchen, and slicing the stuff on a wooden cutting board will leave a permanent orange stain. Unfortunately, the products featuring the orange oil-juice are the most delicious Field Roast products of all, so handle with nuclear-waste-level care and you’ll be fine.