Homo I Call Dibs on Blondie
posted by on October 31 at 12:01 PM
I knew she’d be a freak in the sack!
This story is making the conservative blog rounds right now:
A Japanese man has enlisted hundreds of people in a campaign to allow marriages between humans and cartoon characters, saying he feels more at ease in the “two-dimensional world”…Taichi Takashita launched an online petition aiming for one million signatures to present to the government to establish a law on marriages with cartoon characters.Within a week he has gathered more than 1000 signatures…”I am no longer interested in three dimensions. I would even like to become a resident of the two-dimensional world,” he wrote.
Of course, the bloggers are claiming this story proves that if you allow gay marriage, marrying a cartoon character is next. Just about all of them ignore that the story ends with this bit of trivia:
Earlier this month, a woman addicted to manga put out an online message seeking to kill her parents for asking her to throw away comic books that filled up three rooms.
Obviously, this isn’t a freedom of marriage issue, conservabloggers. The real point of this story is that we should ban comics altogether.
Hey, NSFW!
Where are all of the links to the conservatives freaking out?
Besides this being really, really silly, cartoon characters can't consent, and what if everyone wants to marry the same hot schoolgirl? How does THAT work?
BTW, I have that book on Tijuana Bibles. Unless you really have the Tijuana bible itself, in which case you are significantly cooler than me.
Finally, me and Sailor Mars can get hitched!
Does this man want to marry a male or female cartoon character? The latter is perfectly fine and normal, but the former will destroy society as we know it.
Dude, totally NSFW - put it behind the jump.
If he wants to live his life in two dimensions, I suggest laying down in front of a moving steamroller.
Why don't I think of awesome shit like that any more? I must be getting old. Fuck.
This seals it; manga is first stop on the road to a lonely existence.
To many sheltered wingnuts, no doubt, (out) gay people are about as real as cartoons.
The irony of this Tijuana Bible: "Blondie" actually started out as a cheesecake strip, where her curves where indeed the point. Fully clothed, though.
Here's the rest of that awesome Blondie Tijuana Bible, which mocks the very idea of NSFW: http://tinyurl.com/6244uf
More where that came from: http://tinyurl.com/29nwa
Perhaps we should do away with marriage altogether.
If cartoon marriage is allowed, next people will want to marry their porn!
Robert Crumb was attracted to a picture of Bugs Bunny dressed as a girl. He carried it around with him. One day it went through the wash in his pocket. His mother tried to dry it out by ironing it, which of course caused it to crumble to bits.
You can have my Ultimate Spider-Man when you pry it out of my cold, dead hands.
Those are fighting words.
So...
If we can marry a cartoon character, does that mean that all those cartoon characters that ACORN registered will be able to vote?
Cartoon characters are just one step along a natural progression of depravity that is certain to transpire if gays are allowed to marry. Soon it will be possible for a dog to marry a rainbow, or a steam shovel to marry a wedge of cheese.
Screw the integrity of Marriage as an institution -- these developments threaten the very integrity of reality!
"The real point of this story is that we should ban comics altogether."
At least those written by Judd Winnick...
Here, Paul, this is for you:
http://overcompensating.com/posts/20060508.html
When I became ordained by the Universal life Church I agreed that I wouldn't perform marriages for people and their pets, stuffed animals, or fictional characters. I have no problem marrying consenting adults of any race or gender.
This reminds me of some slash fiction I read involving wolverine and the movie version of iceman...ice cream was used as lube....hrm I think I have an idea for next year's HUMP forming..........
Thanks, Chip @ 18. That made my day.
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