Slog: News & Arts

RSS icon Comments on "Many women refuse to sit on faces because they’re conscious of what a butt smells like."

1

Uh, unless she scrubbed for twenty minutes with five different types of soap, you don't have to tell her how great it smells. Because it doesn't smell great. It smells atrocious.

Posted by god i hate butt | October 1, 2008 4:32 PM
2

A girl friend of mine in college had a boyfriend who, as a special treat during a bout of cunnilingus, ran his tongue back to her butt.

She was so upset that anyone would ever think to do such a thing to anyone that she cried. Like, right then.

Posted by David Schmader | October 1, 2008 4:39 PM
3

Ooh, crying is not good. Crying is definitely not the response you're looking for there.

Posted by Fnarf | October 1, 2008 4:46 PM
4

@2: I hope that poor boy didn't let such a violent reaction put him off of salad tossing for good. Valuable skill.

Posted by Aislinn | October 1, 2008 4:53 PM
5

i made a girl cry when i gave her the 1st orgasm of her life. and it wasn't tears of joy & gratitude, it was because she thought it was dirty & she was now a slut.

and i never even touched her ass with my tongue.

Posted by max solomon | October 1, 2008 4:58 PM
6

"Some might try to dismount you before reaching an orgasm, don’t let them escape."

hawt

I wish my wife was even remotely into this sort of thing. *sigh*

Posted by so hawt | October 1, 2008 4:59 PM
7

I prefer syrup.

Posted by w7ngman fan | October 1, 2008 5:07 PM
8

Eww. Butt.

Posted by TVDinner | October 1, 2008 6:11 PM
9

Sorry- can't get the Monty Python song out of my head... "Sit on my face and tell me that you love me..." ;-)

Any woman that doesn't LOVE this is crazy, or scared to death that it's beyond perverted and I am deeply sorry for them.
I guess female ejaculation would send them over the edge!

Posted by Carol | October 1, 2008 6:17 PM
10

There are guys who WANT to do this?

Please call me.

Posted by Gloria | October 1, 2008 7:22 PM
11

I don't know if vacuum-sealed-mash-the-anus-onto-my-nose-squashing is necessary, but having the lady straddle the face is the BEST angle for the cunnilingus. No weird lower-jaw jutting required! Hours of sloppy goodness.

Posted by Yogi | October 1, 2008 7:30 PM
12

Let's work the problem here. Is this not what scented products were made for? Peach, aloe, a carefully aimed squirt of Chanel No. 5? Surely a resolution can be reached! I mean, for the greater good and all.

Posted by Irena | October 1, 2008 7:57 PM
13

This is one of the worst guides i've read regarding oral sex. And let's not even get started on the ass part. I wish it was a joke.

Posted by Lauren | October 1, 2008 8:04 PM
14

Ha!
Coming from a female who has a male partner who's tried getting me to do this often, I FULLY disagree with with #13! This a great little guide.
It reminds me of something that should be in Box Lunch by Diana Cage (which you guys need to read and do an article on if you haven't already.)

I even just emailed it to my honey with a little nudge and wink. Hopefully we'll be getting some good salad tossin in here soon....

Posted by morgi | October 1, 2008 8:21 PM
15

@12,

Oh my, I don't know. Maybe it's just me, but I hate it when people try to cover up bad smells with fragrance. It just leads me to associate that fragrance with that bad smell.

Posted by keshmeshi | October 1, 2008 8:43 PM
16

Ditto @15. I'd rather smell ass than peach-flavored ass.

Face-sitting. Awesome. Unless the sittee has a cold. Then it's called death by muff-smothering.

Posted by Ariel | October 1, 2008 9:21 PM
17

@9: I guess I must be crazy, then, since I tried it three times, and I hated it. I did not get anything out of it whatsoever, except feeling slightly damp in an uncomfortable way.

I regularly peg and give rimjobs, since my boyfriend is into that, but I can't stop being generally (but only privately, so he doesn't feel guilty) grossed-out by the concept of ass - not because I think it's perverted, just because...well, seriously, we shit from there. "Eat shit" is an insult for a reason. I guess love means eating ass while fantasizing about your toothbrush waiting for you down the hall.

Posted by yourleastfavorite | October 1, 2008 9:28 PM
18

@9, I dearly wish I could sever the strings that hold my eyeballs in place so that I could roll them alllllll the way around for you. It's nice to know that if I don't like sitting on a dude's face, it must be because I'm crazy or frigid, and not because, you know, that particular angle doesn't do it for me.

I thank all the gods that I don't actually believe in that I don't have to fuck you, because lord almighty you sound tedious as hell.

Posted by haunted leg | October 1, 2008 10:17 PM
19

People, run a wash cloth over your crotch before sex please. It ony takes a few seconds but could enhance the whole experience. And while we're at it, mouthwash is a must, too. And guys, colognes and cigarettes aren't attractive in the bedroom to everyone.

Posted by Vince | October 2, 2008 8:43 AM
20

You know we live in a fancy modern world with soaps and showers and what not. There is nothing wrong with a little clean up before such things.

My mouth does not touch ass unless that ass has had a little scrubbing*.

*Also known as sexy shower foreplay.

Posted by Giffy | October 2, 2008 9:32 AM

Comments Closed

Comments are closed on this post.