Hanging curtains in the nude? So anyone walking past his window gets the Full Monty?

CLIVE: The worst job I ever had was with Jayne Mansfield. You know, she was a fantastic bird, you know .....
DEREK: Yeah, yeah.
CLIVE: ..... big tits, huge bum, and everything like that, but I had the terrible job of retrieving lobsters from her bum.
DEREK: Really? Bloody hell, that must have been a task.
CLIVE: Well, it was quite a task 'cause she had a big bum .....
DEREK: Well, I remember.
CLIVE: ..... and they were big lobsters.

At least he had health care.

Here, they'd leave it in.

And then charge you for doing nothing.

You know.

It strikes me that, if he wasn't otherwise physically injured, he could have just reached in there and picked bits of the potato out until it was small enough to remove.

Why I feel this is necessary to point out, I don't know.

I thought it would at least be an elongated potato...

the best part of these stories is the fact that people in these situations don't run to the hospital immediately after lodging the foreign object in their assholes. The hospital is the last resort. So imagine what this dude must have tried to get that fucker out.

Nothing better than a potato in the cornhole story.

A web classic: the Rectal Foreign Bodies page.
Read it and learn.

I say potato, you say ass toy, let's call the whole thing off...

I swear this is straight out of one of Scot Augustson's Sgt Rigsby plays.

Vicar? I hardly knew er!

If that potato was able to just slide on up there, then that wasn't the guy's first rodeo.

Was it a Russet or a Yukon Gold.

This reminds me of the Richard Pryor routine about The Exorcist when he says "Girl! Take that cross out yer pussy!"

Ya know - we may find this amusing. But such stories are like NOT gonna help defeat Prop 8...

I've always wondered if there are any legitimate stories of someone actually falling in the nude and getting something up their ass. It seems to me that if someone fell with enough force to actually get something in the rectum, that there'd be quite a lot of physical trauma to the person. Bleeding and tearing and stuff.

umm, potato no

but large cucumber which went slightly soft after several micro wave heat ups ...

must be persistent and get finger nails hooked in to the end and really work at it ... of course puffing joints and doing poppers helps to keep it all rational and feeling really good

am I telling secrets?

and this vicar would bet better off shelling out two c notes to a whore with a large sized collection ...