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Wednesday, September 3, 2008

This Is Jeff

posted by on September 3 at 17:35 PM

meetjeff.jpg

Jeff is a waiter at the Eagle Street Grill, which is across the street from the Xcel Center. For the duration of the Republican National Convention, however, the Eagle Street Grill has been transformed into the CNN Grill. The signs outside the restaurant were changed, the waiters are all wearing CNN Grill t-shirts, the freakin’ wood platter my burger came on had “CNN Grill” branded on it.

We came, we ordered, we ate, we drank. We drank some more. And then I noticed something weird…

When I picked up the menu to look at desert… there were no prices. Not for the aps, not for the entrees, not for the deserts. Huh. I called our waiter over—Jeff, seen above—and relayed my suspicions to him: “Is everything on CNN?” And Jeff told me it was—the burger, the salad, the three beers, the cupcakes, all of it—and nodded and smiled and asked me if I wanted another beer.

“Oh my God, you guys must be getting screwed!” this former waiter said. “Is anyone tipping you guys?”

I had to drag it out of Jeff—they’re so polite, these Minnesotans—but he confirmed that very few of CNN’s guests (Anderson got me in here) are remembering to tip. Jeff says they’re getting a bit more per hour working at the CNN Grill, but… yeah, folks aren’t really tipping.

I have to say that I’m appalled—appalled!—that most of the folks eating and drinking on CNN’s dime are neglecting to take care of the waiters keeping ‘em in free chow and booze. Hey, librul media elite! Estimate what you think your chow would’ve cost you and TIP THE FREAKING WAITERS! Christ!

Okay, gotta get back to the Xcel Center in time for Sarah Palin’s declination speech.

RSS icon Comments

1

Was the whole post to point out that Anderson Cooper got you into the CNN grill?


never mind. I'm just jealous.

Posted by Non | September 3, 2008 5:55 PM
2

How come SLOG reporters only take their pictures with white people?

Oh, BTW Michael Steele is now speaking at the GOP Convention...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michael_S._Steele

Posted by John Bailo | September 3, 2008 5:57 PM
3

Hey dan - make sure and drink a summit or two while you're in MN. And a Surly too. I still can't believe you are working out in Edina. Uptown Y is the place!

Posted by Z | September 3, 2008 5:57 PM
4

John Bailo is speaking now at the GOP convention.

Posted by John Bailo | September 3, 2008 6:01 PM
5

So, let me get this straight. You and Anderson Cooper had a hot threeway with this innocent young midwestern boy?

Cuz that's what I'm reading here. Drinking, and drinking some more. Indeed.

Posted by violet_dagrinder | September 3, 2008 6:02 PM
6

@5, good god.

OK, so I've been deep diving in the blogosphere comments today and this is my favorite comment to-date:

Posted By: Alamerica (September 3, 2008 at 8:31 PM)
Palin's decision to give birth to a Down-syndrome child was a crime; she not only trapped a human soul into life-long jail, but also drained valuable resources from the society. Her daughter's hormone-driven sex with wild boys was a violation to the Bible. McCain's decision to nominate Palin shows that this old man can no longer distinguish black from white. Is God damning America?
*********************

Wild boys! Wild boys!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iRNmnxlYm3Q

Posted by Jubilation T. Cornball | September 3, 2008 6:05 PM
7

John Bailo, how come nobody ever appears in pictures with you?

Posted by Ziggity | September 3, 2008 6:05 PM
8

Anderson or the waiter??? Both hot.

Posted by anthony | September 3, 2008 6:07 PM
9

John Bailo, could you turn your TV up a little bit more? It's definitely not cool to hear you jerk off to the Republican National Convention.

Posted by John Bailo's next door neighbor | September 3, 2008 6:13 PM
10

I'm ugly and I approve this message.

Posted by John Bailo | September 3, 2008 6:14 PM
11

I know we're not supposed to feed the trolls but....

"How come SLOG reporters only take their pictures with white people?"

It's Minnesota and a RNC. How many black people do you think are actually there?

Posted by yucca flower | September 3, 2008 6:15 PM
12

@9, my equipment is too small to grab, which makes j/o nearly impossible.

Posted by John Bailo | September 3, 2008 6:17 PM
13

My broad-brush experience with serving was that rich people tip shitty and either despise you or smile and nod.

Posted by Lloyd Clydesdale | September 3, 2008 6:19 PM
14


Why don't they interview Michael Steele?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michael_S._Steele

Posted by John Bailo | September 3, 2008 6:19 PM
15

#11:

St. Paul:
Black persons, percent, 2000 (a) 11.7%

http://quickfacts.census.gov/qfd/states/27/2758000.html

Posted by John Bailo | September 3, 2008 6:24 PM
16

Because, you see, I don't have a life. That's why I spend so much time posting on SLOG.

Posted by John Bailo | September 3, 2008 6:28 PM
17

ME, ME, LOOK AT ME!

Posted by John Bailo | September 3, 2008 6:29 PM
18

Okay, who is the idiot pretending to be me? You're driving me nuts.

Posted by John Bailo | September 3, 2008 6:31 PM
19

Why don't they interview Mink Stole?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oGjUEdwxpiU

Posted by John Bailo | September 3, 2008 6:35 PM
20

this poor dude is probably going to get accused of complaining about customers and get canned.

Posted by elysian | September 3, 2008 6:53 PM
21

I could live without the Huckabee photo-op, but I'll admit I'm jealous of Dan this week.

Resuming fantasy...

Posted by oneway | September 3, 2008 6:58 PM
22

As a former waiter, I believe there is a special place in hell for people who don't tip.

Probably right next to where all the right wingers are going.

Posted by Wisepunk | September 3, 2008 7:13 PM
23

By God, I think we're onto something here - EVERYBODY SIGN THEIR POSTS AS JOHN BAILO!

Has it ever been done? Now is the time, fellow Sloggers. ENOUGH!

Posted by John Bailo | September 3, 2008 8:04 PM
24

Is a wart with those white dots inside a staph infection? Mine seems fine but why does it smell like that?

Posted by John Bailo | September 3, 2008 8:19 PM
25

Is a wart with those white dots inside a staph infection? Mine seems fine but why does it smell like that?

Posted by John Bailo | September 3, 2008 8:22 PM
26

That looks like a burger stand. Those type of places don't get many tips anyway, unfortunately.

Posted by John Bailo | September 3, 2008 10:40 PM
27

Dan,

I hate to be this guy, but I thought I'd lend you a helping hand here.

I have a very specific mnemonic device I use to make sure I do not confuse desert and dessert.

Desert (like the Sahara) has Sand. One S.

Dessert (like Strawberry Shortcake) has two.

Posted by strawberrysand | September 4, 2008 10:02 AM
28

I found the post! Thanks for recommending people to tip us! Hopefully tonight is much better!

Posted by Jeff, this really is Jeff | September 4, 2008 6:32 PM

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