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RSS icon Comments on The Quickest Way to Get Me to Return Your Call


Dude, cheap cake is the bomb.

Posted by catnextdoor | September 10, 2008 3:25 PM

There is no shame in what you've done.

Posted by Hernandez | September 10, 2008 3:28 PM

I know you're not a public official, Dan, but accepting bribes in exchange for common courtesy smacks of some sort of ethical failing.

Posted by Matthew | September 10, 2008 3:29 PM

Yes, it does, Matthew. I am a bad man.

Posted by Dan Savage | September 10, 2008 3:33 PM

Oh man, this is the new best method EVER for delivering passive-aggressive messages. :-D

Posted by Christin | September 10, 2008 3:37 PM


Posted by Mr. Poe | September 10, 2008 3:37 PM

babeland = publicity lobbyists = suckas

Posted by neva again | September 10, 2008 3:39 PM

What do you do for pie?

Posted by CommonKnowledge | September 10, 2008 3:40 PM

Don't care for pie.

Posted by Dan Savage | September 10, 2008 3:48 PM

Considering you reference them in every 3rd Savage Love Column, that cake should be made of money, if you ask me.

Posted by Non | September 10, 2008 3:52 PM

My partner and I have VM messages that implore callers to not leave voicemail but to instead send text messages. I hate dealing with my voicemail.

Which is funny, considering I work for a phone company.

Posted by NaFun | September 10, 2008 3:53 PM

For Fuck sakes...I'm sure you could find some cute lil fag intern to listen to them, and prioritize them for you....

Posted by Gato22 | September 10, 2008 3:59 PM

What I want to know is who eventually deflowered that cake?

So, to bribe Dan it is cake, or Molly Moon ice cream, but no pie.

Posted by PopTart | September 10, 2008 4:02 PM

Don't tell your boss you surf Slog all day.

Posted by Original Andrwe | September 10, 2008 4:04 PM

It must be rough being so popular.

Posted by burgin99 | September 10, 2008 4:39 PM

When I was a kid, my friends and I were obsessed with getting a frosting flower on our slice of cake. Of course, the frosting is the best part of cheap ass sheet cake.

Posted by keshmeshi | September 10, 2008 4:41 PM

Dan, if you were a Republican, now would be a great time to start telling everybody how you've always been a staunch opponent of cake bribes.

Posted by meh | September 10, 2008 4:57 PM

Cheap cake, huh?

Well, it's less effort than anal, I guess.

Posted by NapoleonXIV | September 10, 2008 5:15 PM

There's never a bad time to remind people of the wonder of the cake wrecks blog.

Posted by jrrrl | September 10, 2008 5:27 PM

Since this is a Savage post and a cake post, it seems appropriate to ask... does anyone else get a rise from Geoff on Ace of Cakes? I'd like to have my cake and eat him too.

Posted by nightlifejitters | September 10, 2008 5:52 PM

1. At least Babelanders know how to communicate effectively in this era of over-saturation.

2. @4: Yes, Dan, you ARE a bad man.. very very bad. Naughty, naughty. You ought to be punished. Very very naughty. Many many spankings. Report to your disciplinarian for the appropriate punishment.

Posted by treacle | September 10, 2008 7:38 PM

@9: Don't care for pie.

Does not compute.

@20: YES. I am in love with Geoff. I want to sit around and watch him roll out fondant all day long.

Posted by Darcy | September 10, 2008 8:05 PM

@9--What? You don't "care for pie"? What about homemade cherry pie, yo? Ahem.

What does it take for you to return emails? Homemade jam? : )

Posted by Balt-O-Matt | September 10, 2008 8:07 PM

Maybe you should ask Rachel why Babeland is still selling soft jelly toys which contain pthalates, when they've known about the dangers of them for over 5 years (and likely much longer)?

I mean shit, why not ask her when they're gonna stop selling the Rabbit? Be a little more pro-feminist and actually stop selling shit that could give people cancer of the puss, rather than having some bullshit advice page which tells people "well- uh- pthalates are in other stuff too!"?

Give Rachel my regards and tell her that while it's possible that pthalates could be in my flooring, shower curtain, or raincoat as her company's page suggests, I'm not putting any of those things in my vagina.

"Woman Friendly" my fat ass.

Posted by Sara | September 10, 2008 8:10 PM

Don't care for pie? You are taking this gay thing a little too seriously.


Don't care for pie? Now THAT'S gay.


Don't care for pie? Whaddya, gay?

Whichever, at the least, you're unAmerican.

Posted by PdxRitchie | September 11, 2008 12:36 AM

Anyone who can be bribed with cake is awesome!

Posted by Kristin Bell | September 11, 2008 1:55 AM

As you've pointed out, you are contractually obligated... as a gay man.... to eat ass, but not sub-standard, mass-produced, petro-chemically created CAKE.

If we can't depend on the gay community to demand quality baked goods then we're all going to hell in a Twinkie.

Posted by ScatteredSpirit | September 11, 2008 5:55 AM

@ 24-- The rabbit model toys that Babeland carries are all made from phthalate-free materials: soft vinyl, elastomer, or silicone. They do carry very few jelly rubber toys, but the employees are always sure to tell you about phthalates and what the risks are. They even give you a free condom to drive the point home!

Posted by Maxine | September 11, 2008 11:54 AM

Pandering for cake.... seems like a good idea now, but wait until the umpteenth sprayed on frosting, sponged, canned peached topping, taro root flavored one arrives - your colleagues will wish they hadn't put you up to it.

Posted by blaine | September 11, 2008 8:55 PM

Appropriate, cause Sept 14th is Moon Cake Festival on the Chinese lunar calendar.

Posted by darrell | September 11, 2008 8:59 PM

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