Slog - Comments on The Quickest Way to Get Me to Return Your Call http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/09/the_quickest_way_to_get_me_to_return_you Right now I have 48 messages in my voicemail. It'll take, oh, at least an hour to listen to 'em. So I probably won't. Ever. So how do you get me on the phone? Cheap cake. Babeland sent it, with "Please Dan..." written in/on the frosting. I called 'em back 10 minutes later. I'm not proud of the fact that I can take literally forever to return a phone call and that, absent some sugar-bomb bribe, you may never hear back from me. But there it is. And as a direct result of this cake's appearance in my office, I... Copyright 2008 Wed, 10 Sep 2008 15:31:18 -0800 Thu, 11 Sep 2008 20:59:32 -0800 http://www.movabletype.org/?v=3.34 http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss Comment by catnextdoor Dude, cheap cake is the bomb.

]]> catnextdoor http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/09/the_quickest_way_to_get_me_to_return_you#c1136430 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/09/the_quickest_way_to_get_me_to_return_you#c1136430 Chow Wed, 10 Sep 2008 15:25:05 -0800 Comment by Hernandez There is no shame in what you've done.

]]> Hernandez http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/09/the_quickest_way_to_get_me_to_return_you#c1136463 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/09/the_quickest_way_to_get_me_to_return_you#c1136463 Chow Wed, 10 Sep 2008 15:28:00 -0800 Comment by Matthew I know you're not a public official, Dan, but accepting bribes in exchange for common courtesy smacks of some sort of ethical failing.

]]> Matthew http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/09/the_quickest_way_to_get_me_to_return_you#c1136481 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/09/the_quickest_way_to_get_me_to_return_you#c1136481 Chow Wed, 10 Sep 2008 15:29:42 -0800 Comment by Dan Savage Yes, it does, Matthew. I am a bad man.

]]> Dan Savage http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/09/the_quickest_way_to_get_me_to_return_you#c1136531 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/09/the_quickest_way_to_get_me_to_return_you#c1136531 Chow Wed, 10 Sep 2008 15:33:03 -0800 Comment by Christin Oh man, this is the new best method EVER for delivering passive-aggressive messages. :-D

]]> Christin http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/09/the_quickest_way_to_get_me_to_return_you#c1136581 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/09/the_quickest_way_to_get_me_to_return_you#c1136581 Chow Wed, 10 Sep 2008 15:37:02 -0800 Comment by Mr. Poe Awww.

]]> Mr. Poe http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/09/the_quickest_way_to_get_me_to_return_you#c1136595 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/09/the_quickest_way_to_get_me_to_return_you#c1136595 Chow Wed, 10 Sep 2008 15:37:46 -0800 Comment by neva again babeland = publicity lobbyists = suckas

]]> neva again http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/09/the_quickest_way_to_get_me_to_return_you#c1136616 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/09/the_quickest_way_to_get_me_to_return_you#c1136616 Chow Wed, 10 Sep 2008 15:39:46 -0800 Comment by CommonKnowledge What do you do for pie?

]]> CommonKnowledge http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/09/the_quickest_way_to_get_me_to_return_you#c1136627 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/09/the_quickest_way_to_get_me_to_return_you#c1136627 Chow Wed, 10 Sep 2008 15:40:23 -0800 Comment by Dan Savage Don't care for pie.

]]> Dan Savage http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/09/the_quickest_way_to_get_me_to_return_you#c1136719 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/09/the_quickest_way_to_get_me_to_return_you#c1136719 Chow Wed, 10 Sep 2008 15:48:22 -0800 Comment by Non Considering you reference them in every 3rd Savage Love Column, that cake should be made of money, if you ask me.

]]> Non http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/09/the_quickest_way_to_get_me_to_return_you#c1136757 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/09/the_quickest_way_to_get_me_to_return_you#c1136757 Chow Wed, 10 Sep 2008 15:52:53 -0800 Comment by NaFun My partner and I have VM messages that implore callers to not leave voicemail but to instead send text messages. I hate dealing with my voicemail.

Which is funny, considering I work for a phone company.

]]> NaFun http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/09/the_quickest_way_to_get_me_to_return_you#c1136760 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/09/the_quickest_way_to_get_me_to_return_you#c1136760 Chow Wed, 10 Sep 2008 15:53:07 -0800 Comment by Gato22 For Fuck sakes...I'm sure you could find some cute lil fag intern to listen to them, and prioritize them for you....

]]> Gato22 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/09/the_quickest_way_to_get_me_to_return_you#c1136811 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/09/the_quickest_way_to_get_me_to_return_you#c1136811 Chow Wed, 10 Sep 2008 15:59:02 -0800 Comment by PopTart What I want to know is who eventually deflowered that cake?

So, to bribe Dan it is cake, or Molly Moon ice cream, but no pie.

]]> PopTart http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/09/the_quickest_way_to_get_me_to_return_you#c1136841 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/09/the_quickest_way_to_get_me_to_return_you#c1136841 Chow Wed, 10 Sep 2008 16:02:45 -0800 Comment by Original Andrwe

Don't tell your boss you surf Slog all day.

]]> Original Andrwe http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/09/the_quickest_way_to_get_me_to_return_you#c1136854 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/09/the_quickest_way_to_get_me_to_return_you#c1136854 Chow Wed, 10 Sep 2008 16:04:44 -0800 Comment by burgin99 It must be rough being so popular.

]]> burgin99 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/09/the_quickest_way_to_get_me_to_return_you#c1137074 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/09/the_quickest_way_to_get_me_to_return_you#c1137074 Chow Wed, 10 Sep 2008 16:39:26 -0800 Comment by keshmeshi When I was a kid, my friends and I were obsessed with getting a frosting flower on our slice of cake. Of course, the frosting is the best part of cheap ass sheet cake.

]]> keshmeshi http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/09/the_quickest_way_to_get_me_to_return_you#c1137093 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/09/the_quickest_way_to_get_me_to_return_you#c1137093 Chow Wed, 10 Sep 2008 16:41:34 -0800 Comment by meh Dan, if you were a Republican, now would be a great time to start telling everybody how you've always been a staunch opponent of cake bribes.

]]> meh http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/09/the_quickest_way_to_get_me_to_return_you#c1137161 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/09/the_quickest_way_to_get_me_to_return_you#c1137161 Chow Wed, 10 Sep 2008 16:57:14 -0800 Comment by NapoleonXIV Cheap cake, huh?

Well, it's less effort than anal, I guess.

]]> NapoleonXIV http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/09/the_quickest_way_to_get_me_to_return_you#c1137225 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/09/the_quickest_way_to_get_me_to_return_you#c1137225 Chow Wed, 10 Sep 2008 17:15:27 -0800 Comment by jrrrl There's never a bad time to remind people of the wonder of the cake wrecks blog.

http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/07/piece_of_cake

]]> jrrrl http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/09/the_quickest_way_to_get_me_to_return_you#c1137274 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/09/the_quickest_way_to_get_me_to_return_you#c1137274 Chow Wed, 10 Sep 2008 17:27:53 -0800 Comment by nightlifejitters Since this is a Savage post and a cake post, it seems appropriate to ask... does anyone else get a rise from Geoff on Ace of Cakes? I'd like to have my cake and eat him too.

]]> nightlifejitters http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/09/the_quickest_way_to_get_me_to_return_you#c1137342 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/09/the_quickest_way_to_get_me_to_return_you#c1137342 Chow Wed, 10 Sep 2008 17:52:52 -0800 Comment by treacle 1. At least Babelanders know how to communicate effectively in this era of over-saturation.

2. @4: Yes, Dan, you ARE a bad man.. very very bad. Naughty, naughty. You ought to be punished. Very very naughty. Many many spankings. Report to your disciplinarian for the appropriate punishment.

]]> treacle http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/09/the_quickest_way_to_get_me_to_return_you#c1137566 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/09/the_quickest_way_to_get_me_to_return_you#c1137566 Chow Wed, 10 Sep 2008 19:38:47 -0800 Comment by Darcy @9: Don't care for pie.

Does not compute.


@20: YES. I am in love with Geoff. I want to sit around and watch him roll out fondant all day long.

]]> Darcy http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/09/the_quickest_way_to_get_me_to_return_you#c1137634 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/09/the_quickest_way_to_get_me_to_return_you#c1137634 Chow Wed, 10 Sep 2008 20:05:18 -0800 Comment by Balt-O-Matt @9--What? You don't "care for pie"? What about homemade cherry pie, yo? Ahem.

What does it take for you to return emails? Homemade jam? : )

]]> Balt-O-Matt http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/09/the_quickest_way_to_get_me_to_return_you#c1137637 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/09/the_quickest_way_to_get_me_to_return_you#c1137637 Chow Wed, 10 Sep 2008 20:07:01 -0800 Comment by Sara Maybe you should ask Rachel why Babeland is still selling soft jelly toys which contain pthalates, when they've known about the dangers of them for over 5 years (and likely much longer)?

I mean shit, why not ask her when they're gonna stop selling the Rabbit? Be a little more pro-feminist and actually stop selling shit that could give people cancer of the puss, rather than having some bullshit advice page which tells people "well- uh- pthalates are in other stuff too!"?

Give Rachel my regards and tell her that while it's possible that pthalates could be in my flooring, shower curtain, or raincoat as her company's page suggests, I'm not putting any of those things in my vagina.

"Woman Friendly" my fat ass.

]]> Sara http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/09/the_quickest_way_to_get_me_to_return_you#c1137644 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/09/the_quickest_way_to_get_me_to_return_you#c1137644 Chow Wed, 10 Sep 2008 20:10:34 -0800 Comment by PdxRitchie Don't care for pie? You are taking this gay thing a little too seriously.

Or

Don't care for pie? Now THAT'S gay.

Or

Don't care for pie? Whaddya, gay?

Whichever, at the least, you're unAmerican.

]]> PdxRitchie http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/09/the_quickest_way_to_get_me_to_return_you#c1138170 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/09/the_quickest_way_to_get_me_to_return_you#c1138170 Chow Thu, 11 Sep 2008 00:36:54 -0800 Comment by Kristin Bell Anyone who can be bribed with cake is awesome!

]]> Kristin Bell http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/09/the_quickest_way_to_get_me_to_return_you#c1138242 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/09/the_quickest_way_to_get_me_to_return_you#c1138242 Chow Thu, 11 Sep 2008 01:55:45 -0800 Comment by ScatteredSpirit As you've pointed out, you are contractually obligated... as a gay man.... to eat ass, but not sub-standard, mass-produced, petro-chemically created CAKE.

If we can't depend on the gay community to demand quality baked goods then we're all going to hell in a Twinkie.

]]> ScatteredSpirit http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/09/the_quickest_way_to_get_me_to_return_you#c1138364 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/09/the_quickest_way_to_get_me_to_return_you#c1138364 Chow Thu, 11 Sep 2008 05:55:00 -0800 Comment by Maxine @ 24-- The rabbit model toys that Babeland carries are all made from phthalate-free materials: soft vinyl, elastomer, or silicone. They do carry very few jelly rubber toys, but the employees are always sure to tell you about phthalates and what the risks are. They even give you a free condom to drive the point home!

]]> Maxine http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/09/the_quickest_way_to_get_me_to_return_you#c1138917 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/09/the_quickest_way_to_get_me_to_return_you#c1138917 Chow Thu, 11 Sep 2008 11:54:48 -0800 Comment by blaine Pandering for cake.... seems like a good idea now, but wait until the umpteenth sprayed on frosting, sponged, canned peached topping, taro root flavored one arrives - your colleagues will wish they hadn't put you up to it.

]]> blaine http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/09/the_quickest_way_to_get_me_to_return_you#c1139695 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/09/the_quickest_way_to_get_me_to_return_you#c1139695 Chow Thu, 11 Sep 2008 20:55:42 -0800 Comment by darrell Appropriate, cause Sept 14th is Moon Cake Festival on the Chinese lunar calendar.

]]> darrell http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/09/the_quickest_way_to_get_me_to_return_you#c1139699 http://slog.thestranger.com/2008/09/the_quickest_way_to_get_me_to_return_you#c1139699 Chow Thu, 11 Sep 2008 20:59:32 -0800